I want to tell you about something that happened in the midst of moving to our new place. We loaded up everyones vehicles for our first trip. The volunteers were ready to go. Denver and I stopped at a gas station for something to drink and I offered Denver the chance to pick a donut. He felt pretty good about that and started looking over what they had to offer.
Then frustration set in. He didn't feel that he could make a choice. He felt overwhelmed. No doubt, the moving and all the extra activity around him helped to make that happen. I tried to make suggestions and even tried to just pick something for him. No, that wouldn't do. He just wanted to leave and started to get rather loud about that. So, with plenty of witnesses already, I paid for my drink and we went outside.
I opened the van and turned to wait for Denver to get in. He stood by the front of the vehicle crying. Now he wanted to go in and make a choice. By this time, I knew the volunteers had to be there, waiting for us to come open the door. I informed Denver that he would have to wait for the return trip now to make a decision because now it was too late. WHAMMO! Instant meltdown. He flailed, punching and kicking the side of the van and sank his teeth into his arm.
This required fast action on my part. I grabbed him up, taking assault myself, and put him into the seat of the van. I held his arms and legs down as best I could while endeavoring to avoid teeth and headbutting. His screaming, I'm sure could be heard two blocks away.
Well, in walks Joe Public, who thinks he knows what's going on, but doesn't. This guy comes up from behind me and sticks a spiderman toy into the midst of the fire. I took this as an outright intrusion. I turned to the man as best I could and said NO, I'm sorry but that won't help. I tried to explain that he just needed to calm down. Does the guy take the hint? NO. He tells me when a kid wants something that bad, I should just give it to him.
I told him he had no idea what was going on, that my son was having an autistic meltdown and he proceeded to argue. So I ordered him to get away from us. I even had to say it more than once. He did, but he called the police. Fortunately for me, a very kind lady, who witnessed the entire ordeal stepped in and spoke with the police officer as a witness.
I want to mention that the sight of the officer also scared my son. He thought Daddy was going to be taken away from him. I spoke with the officer and had Denver show his arm where he bit himself almost to the point of blood. The officer took down my information, listened intently, then said he was going to talk to the ones who made the call. That's when he said, "You can go".
Denver did get his donut, just as promised to him in the beginning. Too bad that man couldn't have listened. He only risked himself. In the midst of such a meltdown, spiderman doesn't mean jack. He risked having it thrown at him or getting bit. This is why public education and understanding are so important. Don't we get enough public embarrassment with a meltdown of an autistic child? The only thing we can do, is let it pass while preventing our kids from savagely hurting themselves. Can you imagine what it would look like if we didn't?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Autism, Public Meltdown
Autism: Public Meltdown
I want to tell you about something that happened in the midst of moving to our new place. We loaded up everyones vehicles for our first trip. The volunteers were ready to go. Denver and I stopped at a gas station for something to drink and I offered Denver the chance to pick a donut. He felt pretty good about that and started looking over what they had to offer.
Then frustration set in. He didn't feel that he could make a choice. He felt overwhelmed. No doubt, the moving and all the extra activity around him helped to make that happen. I tried to make suggestions and even tried to just pick something for him. No, that wouldn't do. He just wanted to leave and started to get rather loud about that. So, with plenty of witnesses already, I paid for my drink and we went outside.
I opened the van and turned to wait for Denver to get in. He stood by the front of the vehicle crying. Now he wanted to go in and make a choice. By this time, I knew the volunteers had to be there, waiting for us to come open the door. I informed Denver that he would have to wait for the return trip now to make a decision because now it was too late. WHAMMO! Instant meltdown. He flailed, punching and kicking the side of the van and sank his teeth into his arm.
This required fast action on my part. I grabbed him up, taking assault myself, and put him into the seat of the van. I held his arms and legs down as best I could while endeavoring to avoid teeth and headbutting. His screaming, I'm sure could be heard two blocks away.
Well, in walks Joe Public, who thinks he knows what's going on, but doesn't. This guy comes up from behind me and sticks a spiderman toy into the midst of the fire. I took this as an outright intrusion. I turned to the man as best I could and said NO, I'm sorry but that won't help. I tried to explain that he just needed to calm down. Does the guy take the hint? NO. He tells me when a kid wants something that bad, I should just give it to him.
I told him he had no idea what was going on, that my son was having an autistic meltdown and he proceeded to argue. So I ordered him to get away from us. I even had to say it more than once. He did, but he called the police. Fortunately for me, a very kind lady, who witnessed the entire ordeal stepped in and spoke with the police officer as a witness.
I want to mention that the sight of the officer also scared my son. He thought Daddy was going to be taken away from him. I spoke with the officer and had Denver show his arm where he bit himself almost to the point of blood. The officer took down my information, listened intently, then said he was going to talk to the ones who made the call. That's when he said, "You can go".
Denver did get his donut, just as promised to him in the beginning. Too bad that man couldn't have listened. He only risked himself. In the midst of such a meltdown, spiderman doesn't mean jack. He risked having it thrown at him or getting bit. This is why public education and understanding are so important. Don't we get enough public embarrassment with a meltdown of an autistic child? The only thing we can do, is let it pass while preventing our kids from savagely hurting themselves. Can you imagine what it would look like if we didn't?
Then frustration set in. He didn't feel that he could make a choice. He felt overwhelmed. No doubt, the moving and all the extra activity around him helped to make that happen. I tried to make suggestions and even tried to just pick something for him. No, that wouldn't do. He just wanted to leave and started to get rather loud about that. So, with plenty of witnesses already, I paid for my drink and we went outside.
I opened the van and turned to wait for Denver to get in. He stood by the front of the vehicle crying. Now he wanted to go in and make a choice. By this time, I knew the volunteers had to be there, waiting for us to come open the door. I informed Denver that he would have to wait for the return trip now to make a decision because now it was too late. WHAMMO! Instant meltdown. He flailed, punching and kicking the side of the van and sank his teeth into his arm.
This required fast action on my part. I grabbed him up, taking assault myself, and put him into the seat of the van. I held his arms and legs down as best I could while endeavoring to avoid teeth and headbutting. His screaming, I'm sure could be heard two blocks away.
Well, in walks Joe Public, who thinks he knows what's going on, but doesn't. This guy comes up from behind me and sticks a spiderman toy into the midst of the fire. I took this as an outright intrusion. I turned to the man as best I could and said NO, I'm sorry but that won't help. I tried to explain that he just needed to calm down. Does the guy take the hint? NO. He tells me when a kid wants something that bad, I should just give it to him.
I told him he had no idea what was going on, that my son was having an autistic meltdown and he proceeded to argue. So I ordered him to get away from us. I even had to say it more than once. He did, but he called the police. Fortunately for me, a very kind lady, who witnessed the entire ordeal stepped in and spoke with the police officer as a witness.
I want to mention that the sight of the officer also scared my son. He thought Daddy was going to be taken away from him. I spoke with the officer and had Denver show his arm where he bit himself almost to the point of blood. The officer took down my information, listened intently, then said he was going to talk to the ones who made the call. That's when he said, "You can go".
Denver did get his donut, just as promised to him in the beginning. Too bad that man couldn't have listened. He only risked himself. In the midst of such a meltdown, spiderman doesn't mean jack. He risked having it thrown at him or getting bit. This is why public education and understanding are so important. Don't we get enough public embarrassment with a meltdown of an autistic child? The only thing we can do, is let it pass while preventing our kids from savagely hurting themselves. Can you imagine what it would look like if we didn't?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Protect yourself, don't use quick loans
The Consumer Protection Predatory Lending Act is one I hope to see pass here in Wisconsin. I think quick loan stores are a financial trap out of control across the country. Interest rates are so high on these loans that you have to pay enormous ammounts to clear the way to the principal. Take my situation for example.
I didn't just go out and get this loan without taking anything into consideration. I did my math and planned out when I could pay off the 600 dollar title loan I got from Payday Loan Store. I didn't expect my finances to take a whopping change at 65% of my income. This didn't matter to the loan store though. There are no fall back clauses for hardships, even the sudden ones.
Thanks to my condition and the interest rate I made $170 dollars a month into the pockets of the lenders and just $5 on the balance of the loan. On a couple of occasions I had to roll over the loan, borrow for the payment amount and that suited them just fine.
They've collected over $2000 from me on an $600 loan that I now owe over $1100 on. My next interest payment will be about $221 and won't put one dime on the principal.
Far more desperate people get these loans for a variety of reasons as well as those who are just plain financially lazy. The loan looks good and covers a short term need or want. After that, however, you have monstrous interest to pay and you better hope you can cover it and not have to roll it over at all. Thousands of people are hopelessly trapped in these pitfall quick loans. Many of them for the titles of their cars. That's my loan, if I can't keep up the interest payments I will lose my van.
So this is a special message for all of you out there. Watch out with quick and easy payday loans. You might just throw yourself into a financial hole that you can't get out of.
I didn't just go out and get this loan without taking anything into consideration. I did my math and planned out when I could pay off the 600 dollar title loan I got from Payday Loan Store. I didn't expect my finances to take a whopping change at 65% of my income. This didn't matter to the loan store though. There are no fall back clauses for hardships, even the sudden ones.
Thanks to my condition and the interest rate I made $170 dollars a month into the pockets of the lenders and just $5 on the balance of the loan. On a couple of occasions I had to roll over the loan, borrow for the payment amount and that suited them just fine.
They've collected over $2000 from me on an $600 loan that I now owe over $1100 on. My next interest payment will be about $221 and won't put one dime on the principal.
Far more desperate people get these loans for a variety of reasons as well as those who are just plain financially lazy. The loan looks good and covers a short term need or want. After that, however, you have monstrous interest to pay and you better hope you can cover it and not have to roll it over at all. Thousands of people are hopelessly trapped in these pitfall quick loans. Many of them for the titles of their cars. That's my loan, if I can't keep up the interest payments I will lose my van.
So this is a special message for all of you out there. Watch out with quick and easy payday loans. You might just throw yourself into a financial hole that you can't get out of.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Helping others can move you
I figure it's high time that I share about the great moving experience. I know, we all know what it's like to move. Packing and shifting and moving all the heavy furniture are all par for the course. It's a headache and no one enjoys it. As many of you might remember, I put out a message to my local community and asked for help to move. Being disabled and a single parent without local contacts made a move look near impossible.
I started contacting local agencies and asking around at churches to see if anyone could help a guy out. The Center on Aging and Disability put me in touch with Cheryl. Cheryl runs a small volunteer group called Hands of Hope. She came out to my apartment and looked over the job. She took note of what kind furniture I had and how much there was to move. She then made an appointment with me on when she would return with volunteers. She came out with some people who were kind and helpful. They got me moved.
Unfortunately, Cheryl is having trouble finding volunteers. I find this disturbing. Let's think about this for a second. Consider a senior citizen who has no local family and no family coming forward. He has to move. What should he do? In situations that I've seen, it's been too bad so sad, leave it all behind and get out. The problem I have with it, is that it doesn't have to be that way. As a community we can take care of our own and help that person move. Why not? What if it were you? Sure, you're an able bodied person now, but you have a 50% chance of becoming disabled in your lifetime. So think carefully, what if it were you?
What if you really needed help, and no one would step in? Yes it does happen, all to often, but we are supposed to be a society that is better than that now. How can we continue to make such a claim with an every man for himself attitude like that?
Yes, I know there are undesirables out there and people who cheat the system and want to be leeches. I know this all too well, but what are we going to do. Turn a blind eye when even our religious teachings and historical teachings say not to?
What kind of example do we set for our children? I think communities should step up and help. I think what Cheryl is doing is moral and right. I think we should take it into consideration just a bit more. I'm not saying to give handouts to the guy on the street corner, but if you know someone who could really use a hand. Why don't you help them? Just a thought. If you want to volunteer and help out those in need. Check with the Hand's of Hope or contact places in your neighborhood. Give a helping hand to someone in need.
I started contacting local agencies and asking around at churches to see if anyone could help a guy out. The Center on Aging and Disability put me in touch with Cheryl. Cheryl runs a small volunteer group called Hands of Hope. She came out to my apartment and looked over the job. She took note of what kind furniture I had and how much there was to move. She then made an appointment with me on when she would return with volunteers. She came out with some people who were kind and helpful. They got me moved.
Unfortunately, Cheryl is having trouble finding volunteers. I find this disturbing. Let's think about this for a second. Consider a senior citizen who has no local family and no family coming forward. He has to move. What should he do? In situations that I've seen, it's been too bad so sad, leave it all behind and get out. The problem I have with it, is that it doesn't have to be that way. As a community we can take care of our own and help that person move. Why not? What if it were you? Sure, you're an able bodied person now, but you have a 50% chance of becoming disabled in your lifetime. So think carefully, what if it were you?
What if you really needed help, and no one would step in? Yes it does happen, all to often, but we are supposed to be a society that is better than that now. How can we continue to make such a claim with an every man for himself attitude like that?
Yes, I know there are undesirables out there and people who cheat the system and want to be leeches. I know this all too well, but what are we going to do. Turn a blind eye when even our religious teachings and historical teachings say not to?
What kind of example do we set for our children? I think communities should step up and help. I think what Cheryl is doing is moral and right. I think we should take it into consideration just a bit more. I'm not saying to give handouts to the guy on the street corner, but if you know someone who could really use a hand. Why don't you help them? Just a thought. If you want to volunteer and help out those in need. Check with the Hand's of Hope or contact places in your neighborhood. Give a helping hand to someone in need.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Back to Bullying
Well, it's school time yet again. To me, that's high time to take a look at the issue of bullying once again. We need to remember not to just pass off what looks simple to us and remember that growing social and emotional minds are at stake. We can't say "just toughen up" any more, it doesn't work for those who are socially and emotionally disabled or "behind".
True we have taken great steps in stopping physical violence in schools, but bullying doesn't stop at the physical. It's non-stop harassment from which there is no safe haven. It's covert and cruel and makes it's victims feel helpless. That's not good natured ribbing I'm talking about, it's mental assault and it's vicious.
Sometimes the child who complains becomes a target of the teacher as well. "Why are you such a weakling?" Well, hey, if an adult can do it, so can I; becomes the attitude of the rest of the class.
Think about this, do you let your child put down the boy in the wheelchair or on the permanent crutches? No? Then why allow it at all? It's just as bad to do it to anyone else and I mean anyone. I don't care what the reason is. If you don't like someone, stay away from them, but don't victimize them into a state of depressed oblivion.
Remember, what would they be thought of as adults if they treat others that way? What if they do that to a client of their business or a family member? What do we think of that? I don't know of anyone who likes it.
We all want our children to be successful and lead good lives. We can help make that happen by stopping bullying, protecting our children and teaching them too.
True we have taken great steps in stopping physical violence in schools, but bullying doesn't stop at the physical. It's non-stop harassment from which there is no safe haven. It's covert and cruel and makes it's victims feel helpless. That's not good natured ribbing I'm talking about, it's mental assault and it's vicious.
Sometimes the child who complains becomes a target of the teacher as well. "Why are you such a weakling?" Well, hey, if an adult can do it, so can I; becomes the attitude of the rest of the class.
Think about this, do you let your child put down the boy in the wheelchair or on the permanent crutches? No? Then why allow it at all? It's just as bad to do it to anyone else and I mean anyone. I don't care what the reason is. If you don't like someone, stay away from them, but don't victimize them into a state of depressed oblivion.
Remember, what would they be thought of as adults if they treat others that way? What if they do that to a client of their business or a family member? What do we think of that? I don't know of anyone who likes it.
We all want our children to be successful and lead good lives. We can help make that happen by stopping bullying, protecting our children and teaching them too.