Loss of a pet, dealing with loss and autism

I had something else I wanted to touch on today, but I'm switching things up again. Sometimes current events demand attention. You never know what surprise may overtake you.

Cupid the pet rat was very sick and suffering. She wasn't drinking water and barely ate the food I gave her. Despite cage cleanings, she had contracted mites (they are very common and can come from almost anywhere). Despite treatment, they could not be stopped or gotten rid off. I will have to throw her cage out to be sure they're gone because of how hardy these nasty vermin turned out to be. Our other rat doesn't have them, thankfully.

It's never easy to send a pet friend on their way and sadly, I had to do this last night. Now, let me tell you, I have a great deal of experience in this unfortunate skill from working with animals as long as I have. I was a breeder of rats long, long ago and I worked for an Animal Control Agency for six years. In that time, I've had to put down all manner of injured wildlife. I had to put down many a sick rat with cancerous tumors or other ailments that prevented them from thriving. When you cold have 10 litters of rats growing at numbers of 20 per litter (average), it was impossible to avoid.

Anyway, Cupid was very special. She would let you pick her up and take her anywhere. She would let a hyper child with autism hold her. She would ride on our shoulders and nestle into anyone's long hair. She was cute and loveable. She could teach you to enjoy a rat's company. My son was very attached to her. I hated what I had to do. I hated to deliver the news as well. He fell into my lap when I told him she had to go last night. He cried for a good ten minutes as I discussed how I understood his feelings.

I offered to do a burial in the backyard and he accepted readily. Out in the back yard is the remains of an old stump someone tried to burn out. It's center was only dirt and ashes. Looking around the yard, I realized that there would likely be nothing under the stump. It should be safe to dig there. So I did and I managed to get the hole a good foot and half deep before digging into hard clay. We put poor Cupid to rest there and my son said a few words of goodbye. Then we filled it in and talked some more.

Loss is a hard change and change is already hard for autistics. All you can do, is be supportive and understanding. Offer to do things that help bring closure and remind of the good times. Don't go for instant replacement. Time is needed to get full closure or anything close to that. In getting a new pet, you shouldn't be getting a replacement. You should be getting a "new" pet, with an identity and history all it's own. That way, you don't find yourself constantly looking at this new animals as a replacement for Fido or who ever.

We still have a family of pets that need our love and support. We still have a big ol boy rat named Mocha Joe who needs attention. He's not the same, but we still have him and he is who he is. My son will be fine, but it's a tough loss for any child, conditions or not.

They just walked past him as he died

I can't think of how many times I've been asked what the world is coming to. But I can sure tell you where it's headed!

There are at least seven people who should be ashamed of themselves in their callousness. Why? Because on April 18th at around 6 am a man was stabbed fatally while attempting to help a woman being attacked. As he lay on the sidewalk near the curb, bleeding to death, that's how many people walked by and let him die. All were caught on a building security camera and some even stopped to gawk and stare. This happened in New York City, but it's not only happening there. Check out the news story here.

One of those people who stopped apparently called 911, but an hour had gone by and the man was dead. Do you know how long it takes to bleed out from serious wounds like that? Less than 12 minutes. From some wounds you can die in as little as 8 minutes from blood loss. I'm sure he landed somewhere in the middle. Let's say it took ten minutes. That means he had enough time to lay there and die SIX TIMES. Considering the report suggests help didn't arrive until 7:20, you can add a couple more times to that.

So, at least six out of those seven who just left him there and couldn't even be bothered to make an anonymous phone call on their cell phone or a pay phone (whatever) FAIL AT HUMANITY! The woman he tried to help, unless she was the one who finally called... FAILS TOO. The guy with the knife needs to go to prison and the woman may as well join him for fleeing the scene of a crime.

This is not an isolated incident. It's happening everywhere. And you should be absolutely horrified. People who don't get out of the way for an ambulance, or ignore someone who's hurt, or put down people for having medical conditions and leaving them to suffer. People who won't help their fellow man any more... one of these days it will be YOU. The new motto these days for America is "Everyone for themselves and to themselves". The response to people in need is a resounding "SHUT UP!"

Don't believe me? Look at how we failed in Hurricane Katrina. People lay on the sidewalks in New Orleans DYING for days, while we all watched on the news and drooled on our shoes. Especially our so-called government. It certainly doesn't stop there. Yeah I'm being harsh, but ya know what?... It's kind of hard to get more harsh than DEAD.

Our country is failing it's poor and huddled masses that it INVITES to it's shores. It's allowing people to become homeless and blaming them for not being able to pay for things so overpriced that there's no hope of paying on three jobs per household. Then we go bail out all the rich idiots! Next we'll be punishing the middle class families because they can't afford the gouging price of medical insurance. Leaving them to die on the sidewalk from unfair fines that they will have no more ability to pay than the insurance companies.

We need to stop letting people suffer and die and finally become the great nation we keep bragging about.

Stop the Madness, Stop Black Friday

Black Friday, arguably the biggest shopping day of the year every year. This year they’ve taken a spin with some early sales, but I doubt that will slow down the day itself. And people will die.

I can’t remember one year in more than the last decade where people haven’t been assaulted, shot, stabbed or trampled for the sake of some cheap piece of junk. Just last year Walmart had an employee get trampled and two people were shot at a Toy’s R Us. The year before that, three trample victims were reported. I also remember a woman getting shot for a laptop computer and the list of assaults is book worthy.

What’s worse than that, fair people, you are all being taken for a ride by the companies. Just check out this years CNN report about the dirty secrets of Black Friday. Apparently, risk of your life is still A-OK with the big corporations. “While supplies last” and “limit of 3 in store” are geared to make shoppers frantic.

Some of them boast new plans to help safety. They say they’ll hand out guaranteed purchase tickets to the beginning numbers of people in line or some such garbage. I wonder how exactly that is going to stop 4000 frantic shoppers again? Bottom line, too many people in too small of places, all on edge for some trinket, equals disaster. I don’t care what you promise them, you can’t alter reality.

So if you go out shopping on Black Friday this year, don’t forget your life insurance and bullet proof vest. Kiss your kids lil foreheads because if you don’t see their smiling faces on Christmas Day, it’s because you’re either in the hospital or the morgue. Yes, that’s brutal, but it’s a surging reality for a day with a death record from human greed. The madness needs to stop

Honoring the Fallen

Well, on July 2nd I went to my father's funeral in New York. Ever since then my head has been filled with concepts and I've been contemplating. First of all, the Wisconsin Patriot Guard took care of my expenses for the trip, thank and bless them very much. I also understand that some of other chapters road with my Uncle part of the way to bring the Urn from Kansas to New York.

My father's last wish was for one last long ride on a motorcycle. The man had Harley Davidson in his veins and he was a true biker of true bikers. Better yet, since he had the mind of an engineer combined with a Vietnam vet of Special Forces, he always had something cool someone could do to make their bike just a tiny bit better. Or whole lot better depending on who you ask. Well, my Uncle gave him his wish and a funeral procession to end all.

In the carrying bag for my father's urn were five flags for the service, or was it four? In any case, somewhere a long the trip, he switched the flags so that each one spent part of the trip around the urn. Awesome in my book and very thoughtful.

At the service in Woodlawn Cemetary in Elmira, New York; the Patriot Guard came in a force of at least dozen and circled around us holding flags. They also rode in with us and it was quite a sight. My Uncle made all the arrangements and I don't think he could have done it any better. It was a great service that honored my father very well.

I had to leave for home after the service. I couldn't stay and I had a lot on my mind. I learned from my sister that my aunt also passed away within around 2 months of my father. I didn't know her as well as my Uncle per se but I gave to the contemplations that carried me through a twelve hour drive. Yep, I turned grief into energy and it took me all the way through.

This has to have been hard for my Grandparents and Uncle. It's a hard hit to the family no matter what, but still. They meant so much to so many. I have to say, after seeing it happen a few times over, I hope I don't outlive my children. I've already outlived a god-child. That's enough for me or so I pray.