People with autism have no empathy?

I've heard this myth before, but apparently there are "professionals" give it strength and growth. This essentially groups people on the spectrum with the like of outright psychopaths. To me this is becoming slap-worthy. Someone needs to slap some sense into these people.

There is a great big difference between being able to show feelings and being able to feel them. Just because someone has problems showing you how they feel, doesn't mean they are incapable of feeling anything. And yes, I'm talking about for other people. This is a hurtful classification that spreads stigma.

As a high functioning adult, when ever I see someone in trouble, the first instinct I have is to help them somehow. That's not because I'll get some reward for doing it (I don't), but because that person needs help. Since that's my first instinct, I would assume I have some empathy for how that person feels in their plight. I actually care about peoples feelings very much. This might be why I did over 19 years worth of work in protection and law enforcement jobs. It might be why I'm very protective of my family. I love them.

People who take the time to get to know me also know that I care about others very much.

I've also personally met several on the spectrum who voice that they have feelings too.

The lower the functional ability of  a person on the spectrum, the harder it is to interact with the world around them. That doesn't mean they are incapable of caring or feeling. I can remember when people used to think there wasn't anyone inside of those people at all. Studies have proven that wrong.

So what's the problem with our showing empathy? Living with any level of autism is awkward and difficult. We care what people think, but have a hard time interacting with that. Recognizing social cues is extremely hard, but that doesn't mean we don't care. You might have to explain things to us a little extra so we can get it, but again; that doesn't mean we don't or won't care. It doesn't mean that other peoples feelings don't matter to us.

In reality, we want to function, we want to fit, just like anyone else. When I realize that I missed how someone else felt about something, I get angry with myself. I think: "Dammit, how could I have missed that?" And then I want to apologize. People with no empathy don't want to apologize.

These "professionals" who write us off as having no empathy are doing just that; writing us off. To them, Asperger's or any autism is just like any other mental illness or psychosis and that's dead wrong.

So, next time you hear someone saying that we have no empathy; look them in the face and say: "I'm sorry you feel that way, but you're wrong." And then just walk away.  I know not all of use can do that. I also know that there may just be enough of us who can. Let's blast this myth out of the water, shall we?

My neurological journey

Conditions are deteriorating. Things that remind me of that happen more frequently now. In the beginning no one could find any proof of the damage in my brain. I've researched websites to include places like the Mayo clinic and found that it's not easy to find the proof sought. It has to be drastic to show up on MRI's without a dye contrast. I was unlucky enough to have doctors who wouldn't run an MRI with contrast unless I was flailing on the floor. That compounded getting diagnosis accurately.

I even saw two neurologists and both of them discounted and dismissed me. The second literally kicked me out of his office only because I have bipolar disorder. He wouldn't hear anything I had to say.

In the mean time, I've consistently and slowly been losing my balance. I wear out faster than ever, despite exercise. I have vertigo over simple and slight movements of my body or head. And my cranial nerves hate it when I try to lift something heavy, even if I'm physically strong enough to. I faint or have a fainting spell. Coughing is dangerous, it will knock me out. Sneezing causes nerves in my neck and shoulders to react and stun me. It's called a brachial stun, used by police officers to subdue unruly suspects. And the contused nerves in my forehead hurt a lot and often. All of this seems to go hand in hand with my sensory disorder and make it worse too. It's all be gradual, but I can definitely tell the difference.

Maybe my problem was how the doctors in the areas I lived did things. The first time I spoke about this to a doctor here in Louisiana he set me up with a contrasted MRI. It came back as quote: "unusual". To that I say THANK YOU, it proves I'm not crazy or imagining things. I've talked to lots of people who have gone through this in trying to track their health and take care of themselves. It's a diminishing and dehumanizing feeling when doctors won't listen to you. Then it's a Godsend when they do. Maybe, now that I have an updated MRI that actually shows something, I'll have better luck with the new neurologist next month. Yeah that's as soon as I can get in and I have to drive fifty miles too.

In the mean time, my short term memory is crud. My coordination is worse. Last night, I was having a bowl of chili. I went to get a spoonful and slammed my hand into the steaming hot mixture instead. It dumped on my lap and scalded my hand. I can't tell you how much that messes with my head when that kind of thing happens. Two days before that, I spent an entire day in what felt like a narcotic fog. No, I hadn't taken anything stronger than tylenol. I was useless for the whole day. I didn't hit my head, or get sick. I was just fogged beyond belief. I've had to catch myself on doorways, walls, and getting up out of a chair is treacherous.

As these things happen, I find myself saying "what the hell?" I'm only 41. Didn't I have enough to deal with in my autism and bipolar? Or maybe it's something more depreciating than bipolar ever was. What if the bipolar was MS all along? I don't know, but sure hope to find answers soon.

I do everything in short intervals, even this blog. It sits on my screen as I stop and rest my hands in between. It's a struggle I won't give up, even if I eventually have to have someone else type it. If I can get someone (ha ha on that). Well, I will post on my journey more as it happens. Till then, be well.

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