I want to tell you about something that happened in the midst of moving to our new place. We loaded up everyones vehicles for our first trip. The volunteers were ready to go. Denver and I stopped at a gas station for something to drink and I offered Denver the chance to pick a donut. He felt pretty good about that and started looking over what they had to offer.
Then frustration set in. He didn't feel that he could make a choice. He felt overwhelmed. No doubt, the moving and all the extra activity around him helped to make that happen. I tried to make suggestions and even tried to just pick something for him. No, that wouldn't do. He just wanted to leave and started to get rather loud about that. So, with plenty of witnesses already, I paid for my drink and we went outside.
I opened the van and turned to wait for Denver to get in. He stood by the front of the vehicle crying. Now he wanted to go in and make a choice. By this time, I knew the volunteers had to be there, waiting for us to come open the door. I informed Denver that he would have to wait for the return trip now to make a decision because now it was too late. WHAMMO! Instant meltdown. He flailed, punching and kicking the side of the van and sank his teeth into his arm.
This required fast action on my part. I grabbed him up, taking assault myself, and put him into the seat of the van. I held his arms and legs down as best I could while endeavoring to avoid teeth and headbutting. His screaming, I'm sure could be heard two blocks away.
Well, in walks Joe Public, who thinks he knows what's going on, but doesn't. This guy comes up from behind me and sticks a spiderman toy into the midst of the fire. I took this as an outright intrusion. I turned to the man as best I could and said NO, I'm sorry but that won't help. I tried to explain that he just needed to calm down. Does the guy take the hint? NO. He tells me when a kid wants something that bad, I should just give it to him.
I told him he had no idea what was going on, that my son was having an autistic meltdown and he proceeded to argue. So I ordered him to get away from us. I even had to say it more than once. He did, but he called the police. Fortunately for me, a very kind lady, who witnessed the entire ordeal stepped in and spoke with the police officer as a witness.
I want to mention that the sight of the officer also scared my son. He thought Daddy was going to be taken away from him. I spoke with the officer and had Denver show his arm where he bit himself almost to the point of blood. The officer took down my information, listened intently, then said he was going to talk to the ones who made the call. That's when he said, "You can go".
Denver did get his donut, just as promised to him in the beginning. Too bad that man couldn't have listened. He only risked himself. In the midst of such a meltdown, spiderman doesn't mean jack. He risked having it thrown at him or getting bit. This is why public education and understanding are so important. Don't we get enough public embarrassment with a meltdown of an autistic child? The only thing we can do, is let it pass while preventing our kids from savagely hurting themselves. Can you imagine what it would look like if we didn't?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Autism, Public Meltdown
Autism: Public Meltdown
I want to tell you about something that happened in the midst of moving to our new place. We loaded up everyones vehicles for our first trip. The volunteers were ready to go. Denver and I stopped at a gas station for something to drink and I offered Denver the chance to pick a donut. He felt pretty good about that and started looking over what they had to offer.
Then frustration set in. He didn't feel that he could make a choice. He felt overwhelmed. No doubt, the moving and all the extra activity around him helped to make that happen. I tried to make suggestions and even tried to just pick something for him. No, that wouldn't do. He just wanted to leave and started to get rather loud about that. So, with plenty of witnesses already, I paid for my drink and we went outside.
I opened the van and turned to wait for Denver to get in. He stood by the front of the vehicle crying. Now he wanted to go in and make a choice. By this time, I knew the volunteers had to be there, waiting for us to come open the door. I informed Denver that he would have to wait for the return trip now to make a decision because now it was too late. WHAMMO! Instant meltdown. He flailed, punching and kicking the side of the van and sank his teeth into his arm.
This required fast action on my part. I grabbed him up, taking assault myself, and put him into the seat of the van. I held his arms and legs down as best I could while endeavoring to avoid teeth and headbutting. His screaming, I'm sure could be heard two blocks away.
Well, in walks Joe Public, who thinks he knows what's going on, but doesn't. This guy comes up from behind me and sticks a spiderman toy into the midst of the fire. I took this as an outright intrusion. I turned to the man as best I could and said NO, I'm sorry but that won't help. I tried to explain that he just needed to calm down. Does the guy take the hint? NO. He tells me when a kid wants something that bad, I should just give it to him.
I told him he had no idea what was going on, that my son was having an autistic meltdown and he proceeded to argue. So I ordered him to get away from us. I even had to say it more than once. He did, but he called the police. Fortunately for me, a very kind lady, who witnessed the entire ordeal stepped in and spoke with the police officer as a witness.
I want to mention that the sight of the officer also scared my son. He thought Daddy was going to be taken away from him. I spoke with the officer and had Denver show his arm where he bit himself almost to the point of blood. The officer took down my information, listened intently, then said he was going to talk to the ones who made the call. That's when he said, "You can go".
Denver did get his donut, just as promised to him in the beginning. Too bad that man couldn't have listened. He only risked himself. In the midst of such a meltdown, spiderman doesn't mean jack. He risked having it thrown at him or getting bit. This is why public education and understanding are so important. Don't we get enough public embarrassment with a meltdown of an autistic child? The only thing we can do, is let it pass while preventing our kids from savagely hurting themselves. Can you imagine what it would look like if we didn't?
Then frustration set in. He didn't feel that he could make a choice. He felt overwhelmed. No doubt, the moving and all the extra activity around him helped to make that happen. I tried to make suggestions and even tried to just pick something for him. No, that wouldn't do. He just wanted to leave and started to get rather loud about that. So, with plenty of witnesses already, I paid for my drink and we went outside.
I opened the van and turned to wait for Denver to get in. He stood by the front of the vehicle crying. Now he wanted to go in and make a choice. By this time, I knew the volunteers had to be there, waiting for us to come open the door. I informed Denver that he would have to wait for the return trip now to make a decision because now it was too late. WHAMMO! Instant meltdown. He flailed, punching and kicking the side of the van and sank his teeth into his arm.
This required fast action on my part. I grabbed him up, taking assault myself, and put him into the seat of the van. I held his arms and legs down as best I could while endeavoring to avoid teeth and headbutting. His screaming, I'm sure could be heard two blocks away.
Well, in walks Joe Public, who thinks he knows what's going on, but doesn't. This guy comes up from behind me and sticks a spiderman toy into the midst of the fire. I took this as an outright intrusion. I turned to the man as best I could and said NO, I'm sorry but that won't help. I tried to explain that he just needed to calm down. Does the guy take the hint? NO. He tells me when a kid wants something that bad, I should just give it to him.
I told him he had no idea what was going on, that my son was having an autistic meltdown and he proceeded to argue. So I ordered him to get away from us. I even had to say it more than once. He did, but he called the police. Fortunately for me, a very kind lady, who witnessed the entire ordeal stepped in and spoke with the police officer as a witness.
I want to mention that the sight of the officer also scared my son. He thought Daddy was going to be taken away from him. I spoke with the officer and had Denver show his arm where he bit himself almost to the point of blood. The officer took down my information, listened intently, then said he was going to talk to the ones who made the call. That's when he said, "You can go".
Denver did get his donut, just as promised to him in the beginning. Too bad that man couldn't have listened. He only risked himself. In the midst of such a meltdown, spiderman doesn't mean jack. He risked having it thrown at him or getting bit. This is why public education and understanding are so important. Don't we get enough public embarrassment with a meltdown of an autistic child? The only thing we can do, is let it pass while preventing our kids from savagely hurting themselves. Can you imagine what it would look like if we didn't?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Protect yourself, don't use quick loans
The Consumer Protection Predatory Lending Act is one I hope to see pass here in Wisconsin. I think quick loan stores are a financial trap out of control across the country. Interest rates are so high on these loans that you have to pay enormous ammounts to clear the way to the principal. Take my situation for example.
I didn't just go out and get this loan without taking anything into consideration. I did my math and planned out when I could pay off the 600 dollar title loan I got from Payday Loan Store. I didn't expect my finances to take a whopping change at 65% of my income. This didn't matter to the loan store though. There are no fall back clauses for hardships, even the sudden ones.
Thanks to my condition and the interest rate I made $170 dollars a month into the pockets of the lenders and just $5 on the balance of the loan. On a couple of occasions I had to roll over the loan, borrow for the payment amount and that suited them just fine.
They've collected over $2000 from me on an $600 loan that I now owe over $1100 on. My next interest payment will be about $221 and won't put one dime on the principal.
Far more desperate people get these loans for a variety of reasons as well as those who are just plain financially lazy. The loan looks good and covers a short term need or want. After that, however, you have monstrous interest to pay and you better hope you can cover it and not have to roll it over at all. Thousands of people are hopelessly trapped in these pitfall quick loans. Many of them for the titles of their cars. That's my loan, if I can't keep up the interest payments I will lose my van.
So this is a special message for all of you out there. Watch out with quick and easy payday loans. You might just throw yourself into a financial hole that you can't get out of.
I didn't just go out and get this loan without taking anything into consideration. I did my math and planned out when I could pay off the 600 dollar title loan I got from Payday Loan Store. I didn't expect my finances to take a whopping change at 65% of my income. This didn't matter to the loan store though. There are no fall back clauses for hardships, even the sudden ones.
Thanks to my condition and the interest rate I made $170 dollars a month into the pockets of the lenders and just $5 on the balance of the loan. On a couple of occasions I had to roll over the loan, borrow for the payment amount and that suited them just fine.
They've collected over $2000 from me on an $600 loan that I now owe over $1100 on. My next interest payment will be about $221 and won't put one dime on the principal.
Far more desperate people get these loans for a variety of reasons as well as those who are just plain financially lazy. The loan looks good and covers a short term need or want. After that, however, you have monstrous interest to pay and you better hope you can cover it and not have to roll it over at all. Thousands of people are hopelessly trapped in these pitfall quick loans. Many of them for the titles of their cars. That's my loan, if I can't keep up the interest payments I will lose my van.
So this is a special message for all of you out there. Watch out with quick and easy payday loans. You might just throw yourself into a financial hole that you can't get out of.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Helping others can move you
I figure it's high time that I share about the great moving experience. I know, we all know what it's like to move. Packing and shifting and moving all the heavy furniture are all par for the course. It's a headache and no one enjoys it. As many of you might remember, I put out a message to my local community and asked for help to move. Being disabled and a single parent without local contacts made a move look near impossible.
I started contacting local agencies and asking around at churches to see if anyone could help a guy out. The Center on Aging and Disability put me in touch with Cheryl. Cheryl runs a small volunteer group called Hands of Hope. She came out to my apartment and looked over the job. She took note of what kind furniture I had and how much there was to move. She then made an appointment with me on when she would return with volunteers. She came out with some people who were kind and helpful. They got me moved.
Unfortunately, Cheryl is having trouble finding volunteers. I find this disturbing. Let's think about this for a second. Consider a senior citizen who has no local family and no family coming forward. He has to move. What should he do? In situations that I've seen, it's been too bad so sad, leave it all behind and get out. The problem I have with it, is that it doesn't have to be that way. As a community we can take care of our own and help that person move. Why not? What if it were you? Sure, you're an able bodied person now, but you have a 50% chance of becoming disabled in your lifetime. So think carefully, what if it were you?
What if you really needed help, and no one would step in? Yes it does happen, all to often, but we are supposed to be a society that is better than that now. How can we continue to make such a claim with an every man for himself attitude like that?
Yes, I know there are undesirables out there and people who cheat the system and want to be leeches. I know this all too well, but what are we going to do. Turn a blind eye when even our religious teachings and historical teachings say not to?
What kind of example do we set for our children? I think communities should step up and help. I think what Cheryl is doing is moral and right. I think we should take it into consideration just a bit more. I'm not saying to give handouts to the guy on the street corner, but if you know someone who could really use a hand. Why don't you help them? Just a thought. If you want to volunteer and help out those in need. Check with the Hand's of Hope or contact places in your neighborhood. Give a helping hand to someone in need.
I started contacting local agencies and asking around at churches to see if anyone could help a guy out. The Center on Aging and Disability put me in touch with Cheryl. Cheryl runs a small volunteer group called Hands of Hope. She came out to my apartment and looked over the job. She took note of what kind furniture I had and how much there was to move. She then made an appointment with me on when she would return with volunteers. She came out with some people who were kind and helpful. They got me moved.
Unfortunately, Cheryl is having trouble finding volunteers. I find this disturbing. Let's think about this for a second. Consider a senior citizen who has no local family and no family coming forward. He has to move. What should he do? In situations that I've seen, it's been too bad so sad, leave it all behind and get out. The problem I have with it, is that it doesn't have to be that way. As a community we can take care of our own and help that person move. Why not? What if it were you? Sure, you're an able bodied person now, but you have a 50% chance of becoming disabled in your lifetime. So think carefully, what if it were you?
What if you really needed help, and no one would step in? Yes it does happen, all to often, but we are supposed to be a society that is better than that now. How can we continue to make such a claim with an every man for himself attitude like that?
Yes, I know there are undesirables out there and people who cheat the system and want to be leeches. I know this all too well, but what are we going to do. Turn a blind eye when even our religious teachings and historical teachings say not to?
What kind of example do we set for our children? I think communities should step up and help. I think what Cheryl is doing is moral and right. I think we should take it into consideration just a bit more. I'm not saying to give handouts to the guy on the street corner, but if you know someone who could really use a hand. Why don't you help them? Just a thought. If you want to volunteer and help out those in need. Check with the Hand's of Hope or contact places in your neighborhood. Give a helping hand to someone in need.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Back to Bullying
Well, it's school time yet again. To me, that's high time to take a look at the issue of bullying once again. We need to remember not to just pass off what looks simple to us and remember that growing social and emotional minds are at stake. We can't say "just toughen up" any more, it doesn't work for those who are socially and emotionally disabled or "behind".
True we have taken great steps in stopping physical violence in schools, but bullying doesn't stop at the physical. It's non-stop harassment from which there is no safe haven. It's covert and cruel and makes it's victims feel helpless. That's not good natured ribbing I'm talking about, it's mental assault and it's vicious.
Sometimes the child who complains becomes a target of the teacher as well. "Why are you such a weakling?" Well, hey, if an adult can do it, so can I; becomes the attitude of the rest of the class.
Think about this, do you let your child put down the boy in the wheelchair or on the permanent crutches? No? Then why allow it at all? It's just as bad to do it to anyone else and I mean anyone. I don't care what the reason is. If you don't like someone, stay away from them, but don't victimize them into a state of depressed oblivion.
Remember, what would they be thought of as adults if they treat others that way? What if they do that to a client of their business or a family member? What do we think of that? I don't know of anyone who likes it.
We all want our children to be successful and lead good lives. We can help make that happen by stopping bullying, protecting our children and teaching them too.
True we have taken great steps in stopping physical violence in schools, but bullying doesn't stop at the physical. It's non-stop harassment from which there is no safe haven. It's covert and cruel and makes it's victims feel helpless. That's not good natured ribbing I'm talking about, it's mental assault and it's vicious.
Sometimes the child who complains becomes a target of the teacher as well. "Why are you such a weakling?" Well, hey, if an adult can do it, so can I; becomes the attitude of the rest of the class.
Think about this, do you let your child put down the boy in the wheelchair or on the permanent crutches? No? Then why allow it at all? It's just as bad to do it to anyone else and I mean anyone. I don't care what the reason is. If you don't like someone, stay away from them, but don't victimize them into a state of depressed oblivion.
Remember, what would they be thought of as adults if they treat others that way? What if they do that to a client of their business or a family member? What do we think of that? I don't know of anyone who likes it.
We all want our children to be successful and lead good lives. We can help make that happen by stopping bullying, protecting our children and teaching them too.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Moving Day
This is a day coming up for me fast. Because of things like divorce and the fact that I didn't know the finances well enough yet (my ex-to-be was handling that before me), my rent check got shorted and returned. By the time the bank was done with me there was no way I could pay my rent. I had to close out the accounts and start over again. That's not good enough for these landlords and frankly they just aren't very nice people to begin with. So it's a good thing I have to move.
The gas for things like hot water and laundry have been shut off downstairs, I can only presume in retaliation for having bad luck. It's illegal in just about every state and they have had me served. That's too bad for them because they've done just about enough to legally hang themselves. I can't say much more than that for legal reasons.
The new landlord is very understanding about the fact that I have to wait for our next disability checks in the mail before I can pay him for moving in. After that, my finances will restart anew.
Currently I'm trying to find people with strong backs that don't have permanent head injuries like me. Trying to recruit help in a place where I know precious few people. I've talked to a church and put a blog on one of the newspaper sites I go to. I'll be talking to people all week
I'll be okay and soon I'll be back to blogging full force but my hands are kind of full with things at the moment.
The gas for things like hot water and laundry have been shut off downstairs, I can only presume in retaliation for having bad luck. It's illegal in just about every state and they have had me served. That's too bad for them because they've done just about enough to legally hang themselves. I can't say much more than that for legal reasons.
The new landlord is very understanding about the fact that I have to wait for our next disability checks in the mail before I can pay him for moving in. After that, my finances will restart anew.
Currently I'm trying to find people with strong backs that don't have permanent head injuries like me. Trying to recruit help in a place where I know precious few people. I've talked to a church and put a blog on one of the newspaper sites I go to. I'll be talking to people all week
I'll be okay and soon I'll be back to blogging full force but my hands are kind of full with things at the moment.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Honoring the Fallen
Well, on July 2nd I went to my father's funeral in New York. Ever since then my head has been filled with concepts and I've been contemplating. First of all, the Wisconsin Patriot Guard took care of my expenses for the trip, thank and bless them very much. I also understand that some of other chapters road with my Uncle part of the way to bring the Urn from Kansas to New York.
My father's last wish was for one last long ride on a motorcycle. The man had Harley Davidson in his veins and he was a true biker of true bikers. Better yet, since he had the mind of an engineer combined with a Vietnam vet of Special Forces, he always had something cool someone could do to make their bike just a tiny bit better. Or whole lot better depending on who you ask. Well, my Uncle gave him his wish and a funeral procession to end all.
In the carrying bag for my father's urn were five flags for the service, or was it four? In any case, somewhere a long the trip, he switched the flags so that each one spent part of the trip around the urn. Awesome in my book and very thoughtful.
At the service in Woodlawn Cemetary in Elmira, New York; the Patriot Guard came in a force of at least dozen and circled around us holding flags. They also rode in with us and it was quite a sight. My Uncle made all the arrangements and I don't think he could have done it any better. It was a great service that honored my father very well.
I had to leave for home after the service. I couldn't stay and I had a lot on my mind. I learned from my sister that my aunt also passed away within around 2 months of my father. I didn't know her as well as my Uncle per se but I gave to the contemplations that carried me through a twelve hour drive. Yep, I turned grief into energy and it took me all the way through.
This has to have been hard for my Grandparents and Uncle. It's a hard hit to the family no matter what, but still. They meant so much to so many. I have to say, after seeing it happen a few times over, I hope I don't outlive my children. I've already outlived a god-child. That's enough for me or so I pray.
My father's last wish was for one last long ride on a motorcycle. The man had Harley Davidson in his veins and he was a true biker of true bikers. Better yet, since he had the mind of an engineer combined with a Vietnam vet of Special Forces, he always had something cool someone could do to make their bike just a tiny bit better. Or whole lot better depending on who you ask. Well, my Uncle gave him his wish and a funeral procession to end all.
In the carrying bag for my father's urn were five flags for the service, or was it four? In any case, somewhere a long the trip, he switched the flags so that each one spent part of the trip around the urn. Awesome in my book and very thoughtful.
At the service in Woodlawn Cemetary in Elmira, New York; the Patriot Guard came in a force of at least dozen and circled around us holding flags. They also rode in with us and it was quite a sight. My Uncle made all the arrangements and I don't think he could have done it any better. It was a great service that honored my father very well.
I had to leave for home after the service. I couldn't stay and I had a lot on my mind. I learned from my sister that my aunt also passed away within around 2 months of my father. I didn't know her as well as my Uncle per se but I gave to the contemplations that carried me through a twelve hour drive. Yep, I turned grief into energy and it took me all the way through.
This has to have been hard for my Grandparents and Uncle. It's a hard hit to the family no matter what, but still. They meant so much to so many. I have to say, after seeing it happen a few times over, I hope I don't outlive my children. I've already outlived a god-child. That's enough for me or so I pray.
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