This is from personal experience. I cannot speak for everyone, but since it happened to me, it's reasonable to think it happens to others.
People with autism are typically very sensitive and can be very fragile. Certain sudden changes in life or environment can be very traumatic. They can result in psychological damage and be very hard to come back from or heal through. Very hard to "let go" of. Damages include PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), depression and even loss of identity.
Loss of identity is a loss of self and self definition. When I was forced to walk away from a career I loved, it tore away an integral part of me. That career, for all purposes, was "me". Worse, it was a discrimination case, and before I left I was hounded, harassed, degraded, and devalued. My work was made worthless. Imagine having to make a dramatic choice. You can have your hand cut off, or have it beaten to a pulp with a meat tenderizer and then cut off. Your legal rights say you don't have to make that choice. But if you don't, the choice will be made for you. You have no power. That is what it feels like.
And this happens to people all the time, I recognize that. I happens to neurotypical people who've worked their jobs for 20 plus years. That can cause loss of identity too. The point I want you to know is that for someone with autism who depends on things in their life being so controlled and predictable, it's much easier to cross that threshold. It may not take something a neurotypical person would consider life altering at all. That's because perspectives and perceptions are different.
So how did my autism have that affect for my loss of identity? As you may know, autistics often have a special interest that they get engrossed in and stuck on. They may develop this into a special skill. I was tested at a Vocational Rehabilitation office for my work attributes. I've mentioned this before. Anyhow, I made exceptional scores in writing/journalism and protection/law enforcement.
These were already true interests of mine for years. I had worked for security companies and served with a Military Police Unit. I had always, since my youth, wanted to be a detective. When I became an Animal control officer, I actually achieved that to a degree. I investigated offenses involving animals. I was already a trivia nut on animals anyway. So it really was perfect for me. It was so much more than just my source of income.
When something is that much a part of someone, it's very traumatizing to rip it away. The same could be said for an autistic who's life is comic books. If they are that much a part of his life and he's that deeply involved, a fire burning them all could cause a loss of identity. What he knew that he related to himself is gone.
So I think that an autistic person may be at higher risk for such trauma and it may be necessary to understand that. Can we come back from it? Sure, depending on the person. But not everyone comes back at the same pace or to the same degree.
There are kids at risk right now in the school systems. The stories of those bullied even by their teachers. You've seen them in the newspapers. Psychological and sociological damage at that age can shape them forever. You may as well build them high up on a pedestal and then push them off. This is why there needs to be more education, awareness, and understanding. This is why I write.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
What does understanding mean for us?
What is it that we really want from the general community? Acceptance? Understanding? Equality? I think, in one way or another, all of those apply. I think, however, that understanding is the most important because it leads to the rest.
People who don't understand have come back with comments like:
"Why should you get special treatment?" and "Just get over it." or "You look normal to me." These are dismissive statements and I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't like them. They belittle my struggles and those of my son. These are the same kind of people who would see a melt down or odd reaction from one of us and call us "weirdo" or "strange" or "psycho". That is where the education is needed. That is the understanding that I would like to see corrected. Understanding means some of these people stop labeling us and creating stigma in the community.
Stigma in the community makes outcasts out of innocent people. It makes it hard to get jobs. It makes it hard to walk down the street with any dignity. It's degrading and wrong.
And why are any of us so sensitive to this acceptance? I think it's because our difficulties make us sensitive to it. When things don't come out they way I intend them to in conversation or what ever social issue, I cringe and it's usually too late to do anything about it. When I have one of my sensory issues, well, I've had a careless stranger outright call me a wimp. He looked like a jerk to everyone but I really wished I didn't have that sensitivity.
So what are important things to know when someone says, "I have autism"?
-No matter how normal I seem, there are times I won't be.
-It doesn't make me dangerous.
-My reactions won't always match given situations.
-I will miss social cues and facial expressions.
-My "strangeness" should be taken with a grain of salt and I should not be an outcast for it.
-There are things I cannot tolerate because my sensory input doesn't work right.
-There is a person in here, get to know him before you judge him.
And for kids:
-Odd behavior does not equal dangerous behavior(to others anyway- there are exceptions).
-Same sensitivities and reactions as above.
-Autism is not retardation. It is possible to have both, but it is not the case in every person.
I think people should know that the person trapped within can hear them. I grew up being called "that effed up kid". I remember the people who said that about me and it didn't feel good. So what we really want is to be understood because that would allow us to work easier with the world around us. We're different and interact with the world around us the way our senses lead us. We can't control how we are wired.
I'm sure there are many things that can be added to this list above. Feel free to add them in comments.
People who don't understand have come back with comments like:
"Why should you get special treatment?" and "Just get over it." or "You look normal to me." These are dismissive statements and I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't like them. They belittle my struggles and those of my son. These are the same kind of people who would see a melt down or odd reaction from one of us and call us "weirdo" or "strange" or "psycho". That is where the education is needed. That is the understanding that I would like to see corrected. Understanding means some of these people stop labeling us and creating stigma in the community.
Stigma in the community makes outcasts out of innocent people. It makes it hard to get jobs. It makes it hard to walk down the street with any dignity. It's degrading and wrong.
And why are any of us so sensitive to this acceptance? I think it's because our difficulties make us sensitive to it. When things don't come out they way I intend them to in conversation or what ever social issue, I cringe and it's usually too late to do anything about it. When I have one of my sensory issues, well, I've had a careless stranger outright call me a wimp. He looked like a jerk to everyone but I really wished I didn't have that sensitivity.
So what are important things to know when someone says, "I have autism"?
-No matter how normal I seem, there are times I won't be.
-It doesn't make me dangerous.
-My reactions won't always match given situations.
-I will miss social cues and facial expressions.
-My "strangeness" should be taken with a grain of salt and I should not be an outcast for it.
-There are things I cannot tolerate because my sensory input doesn't work right.
-There is a person in here, get to know him before you judge him.
And for kids:
-Odd behavior does not equal dangerous behavior(to others anyway- there are exceptions).
-Same sensitivities and reactions as above.
-Autism is not retardation. It is possible to have both, but it is not the case in every person.
I think people should know that the person trapped within can hear them. I grew up being called "that effed up kid". I remember the people who said that about me and it didn't feel good. So what we really want is to be understood because that would allow us to work easier with the world around us. We're different and interact with the world around us the way our senses lead us. We can't control how we are wired.
I'm sure there are many things that can be added to this list above. Feel free to add them in comments.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Autism and phobias
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| Spider in a web |
High sensitivities in autism can trigger phobias so far as I have read. It makes sense. And currently my son is having trouble in this area. He is already skittish around animals. If they move towards him, especially before he feels absolutely ready, he will run away or at least move away a few feet. He is the very most afraid of dogs, bees and spiders. This year, with prime bug season going strong, I have seen an amplification of this.
I know that having something buzzing around my face drives my senses crazy. I can't help but do everything I can to get it away from me. So I understand how that must be sending him into a tizzy. Fear of being hurt plays a large role as well as his need for things around him to be predictable. Animals, without a great deal of experience, are not predictable.
We've had two occassions of screaming hysterics with climbing me like a tree in order to escape in just the last 7 days. One was with a small dog that was behind a tree and surprised us. But it was friendly and no one was hurt. The lady who owned it felt terrible. And the other was this morning with a bee outside.
I feel awful about how he must be feeling, but what can I do other than try to coach and comfort? Whenever we meet a nice dog, we try to meet it and get him a positive experience. He wants to, but is afraid. He has had two very bad experiences with small dogs that play into this. Teaching him how to deal with bees is a little harder. Heck, I don't like them myself.
All of this is making it hard for him to enjoy going out to play. The parks are full of flying bugs of all sorts. Dragonflies have been out in clouds over the beaches. Amazing to see actually. But you can't tell him they won't do anything to him. They fly around our heads in that unpredictable fashion and it freaks him out. Even large flies right now, that are hard to discern from bees will get this reaction. That's just how deep this goes.
I just hope I can help him get over this phase and to feeling more confident around animals. No one likes to see their child terrified. How about you? Is your child on the spectrum dealing with phobias?
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Autism and the workplace
You know, in a way, I wish I knew about my Asperger's before what happened in my Animal Control career. The education of it may have saved a great deal from occurring. But my diagnosis was in process. No one knew. I didn't know. What made that worse was it meant I didn't know myself.
One of the most important things to know about autism is that it affects how we react and interact with the world around us. There are some things we see in a strict black and white and context gets lost. It can make misunderstandings easy, too easy. Same for frustrations.
If you are going to hire someone with autism, you should know their "quirks" and get to know them personally at least a little bit. Try to see their manner of communication and always be as specific as you can. That's not to say that people with autism cannot follow directions. But once some of us get an attention to detail we can be very rigid with it. That could be useful to an employer if you think about it.
In a way, companies could do well to learn about autism as much as our educational system. After all, our children on the spectrum today could be the workers of tomorrow. No, not all of them, but there are people with autism who have jobs. Since the numbers of children diagnosed has increased, it stands to reason that some of them will move on from school to college or to jobs.
Do people with autism require accomadations on the job to help them reasonably perform that job? Some will, some won't. A level of understanding and acceptance will go far.
If a person is unsure what they can do or if they can work, they can be tested at their local Vocational Rehabilitation center. The tests they do will tell you what areas of work you are most attuned to. Amazing test, I took it myself. I was found to be geared toward journalistic/writing and protection jobs. Protection jobs meaning things like security or law enforcement. Interesting how I've done both before I was ever tested. See what equivalent is near you if you don't have a Vocational Rehab office.
So high functioning persons with autism can enter the workforce with proper support. Just one more way we can lead functional lives.
One of the most important things to know about autism is that it affects how we react and interact with the world around us. There are some things we see in a strict black and white and context gets lost. It can make misunderstandings easy, too easy. Same for frustrations.
If you are going to hire someone with autism, you should know their "quirks" and get to know them personally at least a little bit. Try to see their manner of communication and always be as specific as you can. That's not to say that people with autism cannot follow directions. But once some of us get an attention to detail we can be very rigid with it. That could be useful to an employer if you think about it.
In a way, companies could do well to learn about autism as much as our educational system. After all, our children on the spectrum today could be the workers of tomorrow. No, not all of them, but there are people with autism who have jobs. Since the numbers of children diagnosed has increased, it stands to reason that some of them will move on from school to college or to jobs.
Do people with autism require accomadations on the job to help them reasonably perform that job? Some will, some won't. A level of understanding and acceptance will go far.
If a person is unsure what they can do or if they can work, they can be tested at their local Vocational Rehabilitation center. The tests they do will tell you what areas of work you are most attuned to. Amazing test, I took it myself. I was found to be geared toward journalistic/writing and protection jobs. Protection jobs meaning things like security or law enforcement. Interesting how I've done both before I was ever tested. See what equivalent is near you if you don't have a Vocational Rehab office.
So high functioning persons with autism can enter the workforce with proper support. Just one more way we can lead functional lives.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Autism checklist for your child in school
So here we are at a new school year. This means new routines and people are coming into your child's life. Not only should you be preparing and discussing with your child, these new events and changes, but you should be doing things to make sure that his or her education team is all on the same page.
One way of doing this is to make a personalized check list for your child and all their quirks or behaviors. It's kind of like a list of forewarning and notice of various behaviors that anyone who works with your child are going to see.
The idea is to help others not be so surprised when your child with autism or any other disorder does something out of the ordinary.
Things to list:
-reactions to sensory, students, frustrations, and any sudden changes.
-behaviors of any kind that are habitual to your child and when they might come about.
-how long it might take to get into school routine
-how to handle outbursts and redirect your child in ways that you have seen work the best.
I'm sure with this list you can see the possibilities of what you can point out to help your child's educational team. And that's what they need to be along with you, a team. This is a short blog, but I think many of you will find it quite helpful.
A couple of tips in writing this list.
-write it like a "list" as I've done with the little dash marks here. It's easier to read than a giant block of paragraph text.
-check spelling and use your word processor. Avoid hand writing it if you can.
-be sure to request that a copy of the list is given to everyone who will be working with your child.
One way of doing this is to make a personalized check list for your child and all their quirks or behaviors. It's kind of like a list of forewarning and notice of various behaviors that anyone who works with your child are going to see.
The idea is to help others not be so surprised when your child with autism or any other disorder does something out of the ordinary.
Things to list:
-reactions to sensory, students, frustrations, and any sudden changes.
-behaviors of any kind that are habitual to your child and when they might come about.
-how long it might take to get into school routine
-how to handle outbursts and redirect your child in ways that you have seen work the best.
I'm sure with this list you can see the possibilities of what you can point out to help your child's educational team. And that's what they need to be along with you, a team. This is a short blog, but I think many of you will find it quite helpful.
A couple of tips in writing this list.
-write it like a "list" as I've done with the little dash marks here. It's easier to read than a giant block of paragraph text.
-check spelling and use your word processor. Avoid hand writing it if you can.
-be sure to request that a copy of the list is given to everyone who will be working with your child.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Socially Stumbling
It always feels good to have someone tell me they think I'm doing really well in socializing and talking. It tells me that I'm doing something right. I just wish it "felt" right more often.
I love to talk to people and had a very nice conversation today. We talked about business and schools. It was a nice social chat. I always enjoy those. Then there comes a point when you have to go on your way and sometimes I am so very clumsy at that particular point in the conversation. At least I feel clumsy.
I see in my mind that when you finish a conversation with someone you say "bye" or whatnot and then make your exit. For some reason, I sometimes stammer on this and almost freeze in place. Then I feel awkward but try to just carry on as I was supposed to. At some point I jar myself loose and I'm on my way.
Suffice to say, having autism can make you socially clumsy and there's little you can do but practice, practice, practice. Still this happens to me more than I care for.
In the end of it though, it's more important that I not let it hold me back and keep on going forward. What else can I do right? And I need to show my son, that when you have a "hiccup" in life, you just have to keep on doing what you do. Keep trying.
I haven't written in some time because I've been really busy with other aspects of my writing. Maybe I'll have cool news to share as I try to break into the sci fi/fantasy genre. Till next time!
I love to talk to people and had a very nice conversation today. We talked about business and schools. It was a nice social chat. I always enjoy those. Then there comes a point when you have to go on your way and sometimes I am so very clumsy at that particular point in the conversation. At least I feel clumsy.
I see in my mind that when you finish a conversation with someone you say "bye" or whatnot and then make your exit. For some reason, I sometimes stammer on this and almost freeze in place. Then I feel awkward but try to just carry on as I was supposed to. At some point I jar myself loose and I'm on my way.
Suffice to say, having autism can make you socially clumsy and there's little you can do but practice, practice, practice. Still this happens to me more than I care for.
In the end of it though, it's more important that I not let it hold me back and keep on going forward. What else can I do right? And I need to show my son, that when you have a "hiccup" in life, you just have to keep on doing what you do. Keep trying.
I haven't written in some time because I've been really busy with other aspects of my writing. Maybe I'll have cool news to share as I try to break into the sci fi/fantasy genre. Till next time!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Autism and potty training
Potty training for a sensory affected child can be a daunting task. It's frustrating to the parents too. I've read about children who don't manage it until as far as 18 years old. Most that I've read about are around 9 or 10.
What is it that causes potty training to be so difficult?
One theory is that the sensation of the open space of the bowl under them is disconcerting. They may not feel stable or safe sitting on the bowl. That could even take effect for child size potty chairs.
The change of not having the sensation of a soiled diaper may even have a little to do with it. Consider that all they've known up to this point is what if feels like to have the duty done next to their skin. The new effects can be disconcerting. Hey, it's only a theory.
What's really important to know (mostly for the high functioning with autism such as Asperger's) is that it's not impossible. Potty training can be done. It will take more dedication and perhaps longer than a typical child, but can be done.
Things that will help:
There are training programs geared for autism that you can find by internet search. Here are just a few sites to check out:
http://www.brighttots.com/Toilet_training_and_autism.html
http://baby.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Potty_Training_Autistic_Children
http://www.epinions.com/content_4025262212
Seeing other kids the same age can inspire a child to do the same as they do. With all the attempts and programs used with my own son, it was seeing other five and six year olds use the potty that fixed the situation forever.
Use props, videos, toys and books. Read books on potty, watch videos, and get a baby doll that wets itself for demonstration.
Reinforce by pointing out that no one else in the house does the duty in their pants.
Consistency and repetition are key!
So, if you are looking at potty training, collect yourself and arsenal of information and tools and above all, don't give up!
What is it that causes potty training to be so difficult?
One theory is that the sensation of the open space of the bowl under them is disconcerting. They may not feel stable or safe sitting on the bowl. That could even take effect for child size potty chairs.
The change of not having the sensation of a soiled diaper may even have a little to do with it. Consider that all they've known up to this point is what if feels like to have the duty done next to their skin. The new effects can be disconcerting. Hey, it's only a theory.
What's really important to know (mostly for the high functioning with autism such as Asperger's) is that it's not impossible. Potty training can be done. It will take more dedication and perhaps longer than a typical child, but can be done.
Things that will help:
There are training programs geared for autism that you can find by internet search. Here are just a few sites to check out:
http://www.brighttots.com/Toilet_training_and_autism.html
http://baby.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Potty_Training_Autistic_Children
http://www.epinions.com/content_4025262212
Seeing other kids the same age can inspire a child to do the same as they do. With all the attempts and programs used with my own son, it was seeing other five and six year olds use the potty that fixed the situation forever.
Use props, videos, toys and books. Read books on potty, watch videos, and get a baby doll that wets itself for demonstration.
Reinforce by pointing out that no one else in the house does the duty in their pants.
Consistency and repetition are key!
So, if you are looking at potty training, collect yourself and arsenal of information and tools and above all, don't give up!
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