People with autism have no empathy?

I've heard this myth before, but apparently there are "professionals" give it strength and growth. This essentially groups people on the spectrum with the like of outright psychopaths. To me this is becoming slap-worthy. Someone needs to slap some sense into these people.

There is a great big difference between being able to show feelings and being able to feel them. Just because someone has problems showing you how they feel, doesn't mean they are incapable of feeling anything. And yes, I'm talking about for other people. This is a hurtful classification that spreads stigma.

As a high functioning adult, when ever I see someone in trouble, the first instinct I have is to help them somehow. That's not because I'll get some reward for doing it (I don't), but because that person needs help. Since that's my first instinct, I would assume I have some empathy for how that person feels in their plight. I actually care about peoples feelings very much. This might be why I did over 19 years worth of work in protection and law enforcement jobs. It might be why I'm very protective of my family. I love them.

People who take the time to get to know me also know that I care about others very much.

I've also personally met several on the spectrum who voice that they have feelings too.

The lower the functional ability of  a person on the spectrum, the harder it is to interact with the world around them. That doesn't mean they are incapable of caring or feeling. I can remember when people used to think there wasn't anyone inside of those people at all. Studies have proven that wrong.

So what's the problem with our showing empathy? Living with any level of autism is awkward and difficult. We care what people think, but have a hard time interacting with that. Recognizing social cues is extremely hard, but that doesn't mean we don't care. You might have to explain things to us a little extra so we can get it, but again; that doesn't mean we don't or won't care. It doesn't mean that other peoples feelings don't matter to us.

In reality, we want to function, we want to fit, just like anyone else. When I realize that I missed how someone else felt about something, I get angry with myself. I think: "Dammit, how could I have missed that?" And then I want to apologize. People with no empathy don't want to apologize.

These "professionals" who write us off as having no empathy are doing just that; writing us off. To them, Asperger's or any autism is just like any other mental illness or psychosis and that's dead wrong.

So, next time you hear someone saying that we have no empathy; look them in the face and say: "I'm sorry you feel that way, but you're wrong." And then just walk away.  I know not all of use can do that. I also know that there may just be enough of us who can. Let's blast this myth out of the water, shall we?

My thoughts on racism after the Zimmerman trial

The purpose of this post is not to debate the Zimmerman trial. So please, I'm not looking for any rage on my page. Okay? However, all the raging and debating I have seen has finally brought me to writing this. Also, I was inspired by a fellow on Facebook. Time to bring this to light.

Racism is wrong.

Now that I've said that, let me point out that it's wrong no matter who it's against. It's time to get past the idea that the color of a person's skin makes them what they are. It's time to get past the idea that color is a reason to condemn. If you stop and actually think about it, what you really don't like about anyone is their behavior. It's time to cut away the link of race to behavior.

To me, the color of your skin is nothing more than a means of physical identification. That's it, that's all. I prefer not to mix the color of your skin with your culture either. Let's go with Black Culture for a second. What is that? And better yet, which one? African Culture? Hip Hop Culture? Yes, I've had people tell me that Hip Hop is a Black Culture, so I'm only quoting them (and they were African American people too, so argue with them). The point is, that if you just say Black Culture, you could be referring to several ways of thinking on several ways of life. I've seen this first hand. Isn't it interesting that in all the persons of any one color of skin across the whole planet, there are still dozens of cultures? Hundreds even. That's why I don't care to use the color of your skin to associate with your culture.

When it comes right down to it, it's the cultures that clash, not the color of skin. Behaviors and beliefs clash, not the color of skin.

Here's what we all are above all. We are the Human Race. We are a species. Once you look past the color of skin; we all have the same types of organs. We are inter-mixable. A man of any color can make a baby with a woman of any color. We all get the same diseases, have the same emotional capabilities, and can commit the same atrocities. So, when the most powerful forces in the universe don't discriminate, whey do we? I'll tell you why.

Because the human race has a lot to learn to accept itself as a species of intellects instead of just a bunch of colors.

Here's another thought for you: Polar bears are white and Kodiaks are brown. Neither of them give a damn. BOTH of them will KILL you no matter what color YOU are. You see, while we use color to identify them for science; all we really need to remember is their behavior. In the case of bears, we need to remember that, no matter what color they are, we need to stay the hell away from them or risk getting mauled.

I can even take it to the inanimate. If I pick up two rocks that are the same size and weight, but are different colors, and I throw them at you; can you tell me which one hurt more? Probably not, but I've just assaulted you with rocks. That's a behavior that lands me in jail, regardless of why I did it.

I'm all for abolishing racism. Unfortunately, if you go at it too hard, you can become a racist yourself. It's a vicious double edge sword that will poison you if you aren't careful. So I'm going to make a risky example:

If you go around saying: I hate all  you white supremacists. That's a racist comment. As soon as you interject color as the basis of your anger or hatred, it's racist. What you really hate, is the behavior of some people in profiling others based on color. Behavior, people, that's what the deal is. Remember that or risk being a hypocrite. I also don't think they should be called "white" supremacists, just racial supremacists. Take the color right out of the equation and the wind right out of their sails.

So, there it is. My thoughts on racism as spurred by the riots and rage. (Come on, looting a Wal-Mart? Really?). Also spurred by people hating on each other on Facebook. What are you really achieving with that? Nothing.

With a special message for autism

It's finally available; my second book. It's a collection of 12 short stories that will make you laugh, gasp and wonder. While I need to advertise my book, this time there is something special I've added.

At the end of this book is a special note from the Author (me) regarding living with Autism, Aspergers, MS and other conditions. We are such kin in our comparable medical issues that it felt right to be inclusive.

It means a lot to me to inspire others, especially our youth, with my work. I know, not everyone can do the same things, but we can all do something to enrich ourselves. As I've said before, I'm not talking about going out and getting some back breaking job when you may be unable to serve on an employed position. I'm talking about doing something just because you enjoy it and it's good for you.

I grew up without anyone knowing that I had/have Asperger's Syndrome and Bipolar disorder (yes you can have both). In my age and demographics it wasn't even a consideration. So I was never tested for it. I was only tested for my IQ. Being ahead on IQ and considered a borderline child genius (yes, I was) didn't help with the severe bullying in Jr. High. I went home bloody at least twice a week. I had to hide that too. I had to clean myself up somewhere on the two mile walk home from school so my Step-Mother wouldn't know. Why? Because she abused me too. I fought back a couple of times and wound up with police at my door and more trouble than it was worth.

My Stepmother only knew how to scream and yell while downing one beer after another. I could tell you more about her daily manner, but I'm afraid it would trigger some of you. Suffice to say, I wound up having my own PTSD from the things she did.

So I left home at age 14, wound up in another state and then out of school at 10th grade. I had to join Job Corps and get my GED to make my way forward in life.

Despite all these things, I carried myself forward. I had jobs and relationships. I got married (thought not always for the right reasons) and now have four wonderful kids. Let me just say that those kids have made anything that went bad in my past relationships worth it 100x over.

Now, I get to add Multiple Sclerosis to the mix. My knees don't want to hold me up most days so I have to us a four pod cane. I get dizzy spells and exhaustion at ridiculous times and often without getting much done. I have to pace myself around my household chores and I'm losing the coordination in my hands (as well as the rest of my body). I walk into freaking walls, people. Not fun.

But now I write and do my illustrations (in spite of my hands) and refuse to give up. My son needs to know, that just because Dad is on a cane, doens't mean he's helpless or can't do anything. On top of that, I want others to know that they can do things too.  I make my heroes and write my stories that have been in my head since childhood. But now I do them with a new purpose. And I'm not going to stop.

If you or your kids wonder what they can become because of their conditions and difficulties, please share my story with them. And I'm not the only one out there who can do this either.

And you don't have to be some prodigy that gets famous, okay? Do it because it enriches you and makes you feel the power of accomplishment. If that's reading a hundred books a year, do it. Shooting baskets and learning sports, do it. Just do it.

I plan on sharing this often, so I apologize in advance for anyone that offends. For the rest of what I do, visit GalaxyZento.Blogspot.com or my Facebook page under the same name. Free reading for GZ Legends and lots of illustrations that I do, no matter what my head and  hands are doing to me. I know there are a lot of you out there who can relate.

So, what are you doing to do?

Is it puberty mixed with Asperger's or something worse?

Seriously, I don't know.

Last summer, my had a friend we will call L. They were inseparable and he wanted to play with her more than anyone else he ever met. Sadly, L lived a life that was unstable. She moved away at the end of last summer quite suddenly. The results were catastrophic. Today, I got a severe glimpse of just how much.

A terrible school year didn't help him at all and there was so much to deal with; we couldn't give enough attention to one underlying problem. Today, my son told me he has no true friends and never will. Think about that for a second.

On top of that, he's taken to talking to an imaginary form of her. He just told me he dreams about her every night and it wakes him up. Then he burst into tears.

So, he's created an imaginary friend, that has everyone thinking he's hearing voices that aren't there. He's obsessing over a girl who moved away almost a year ago. And what's sadder yet; he's right. He has no true friends on this block. He has no one that he feels wants to play with him.

Every day, he goes to houses down the block and wants to play with the other kids. He gets the brush off and he knows it. How must that kind of rejection feel? What he showed me today, just how much he's suffering. Now, what do I do about it?

We're on the lookout for summer programs, but once those end, what next? My son needs a friend. He just wants someone he can get silly with, play games with, talk video games with.

Today, the bottled emotions blew. Now what do I do?

You will always be criticized

In an effort to make a positive from a negative; lemonade from lemons, I write this. Recently I posted this message for my Galaxy Zento page of heroes that I write about and draw.

With your help and sharing, my project to inspire others with my Galaxy Zento project has been growing, slowly, but growing. I know it can grow more. The simple truth is, the more people who click like on Galaxy Zento, the more people it will reach. The more who share it with its message the more likely that will happen. I have a modest goal that I would like to reach by the end of next month. I would like the page to reach 1000 "likes". Can you help? Do you know anyone who loves original content, characters, and stories? How about practicing artists? Anyone who just wants to practice their art skills and get posted as a guest artist? As I'm preparing to post GZ Legends 50 (a milestone post!) I want to spread the word. I want people to know that you can still do what you love, or find something to love doing even with disabilities. You can still grow as a person. You can still inspire others. I will always support autism education and projects that help people grow as human beings. You can help me make this grow. What do you say folks? Its not enough that I share to you, when you share it reaches your people. So, give it a twitter and give it a share. Let others know that a guy with multiple conditions is striving to inspire. This week, I go to see my second oldest daughter graduate. So there will be some delays on other postings. A great time for your help. Love you all! Be blessed and inspired.


I also posted this:


So I posted a very special message on my wall. You know, growing up with Asperger's or any similar condition is not easy. I grew up with no support system because no one knew what was up with me. They didn't know what was "wrong" with me. Now that I grew up through that, I want to use any success I have to inspire others (especially my son as most you know, has Asperger's/autism). I want to give back for every step forward I make. So I hope you'll visit my page and check out what I'm doing. My goal is to get my project page Galaxy Zento and its heroes up to 1000 likes in the next month. You can have a livable life. You can do great things. It will get better. Let the inspiration carry on.

On the same day that I posted that second message I was accused of doing what I do, solely for personal gain. 

On that I will say that if personal gain was all I wanted, you wouldn't be able to go to the Galaxy Zento blogspot and read my stories for free (now up to part 49 of an ongoing story). I wouldn't bother scheduling to talk to college classes about what it's like to grow up with or have autism. I wouldn't bother. I wouldn't make videos, I wouldn't do anything but say "buy my book". That would be it and that would be all. No, I want all my success to do something more. Those who don't believe me will just have to wait and see. 

As you go forward in life, this is something you will have to remember to. Your best efforts, best intentions, and anything else you do will always be misunderstood or criticized by someone. Still, you must never give up. You must go on in spite of these people. Shut them out. One of these people will never have to be bothered by my posts again, because I blocked them. You don't have to block people, unless they are harassing you. But, you don't let them steer your life and ambitions. Don't let them mess with your goals because they don't understand you.

Look to history and see how many famous innovators ignored the criticisms and achieved great things for the world around them. 

Martin Luther King Jr. was told he couldn't do it.
Ghandi was told he couldn't do it.
Even Mother Theresa was told she couldn't do it. (Yes I know I'm not any of these people)

What do they have in common? None of them listened to the naysayers. Don't you listen to them either.

So what if my way involves selling some low cost books? Doesn't everyone have to do something in this world? Would I set a better example from my couch? 

I have yet to complain about my book sales, and I won't. The book is there and I would be stupid not to advertise it. I would be stupid not to try and take myself further in life. What kind of example would I set for my message if I did nothing? Writing a book was a great accomplishment for me and I refuse to let anyone come throw a big soggy blanket on it because I want to inspire others with my work. 

Also, I  never claimed to be some non-profit benefactor in this. I did say that I want to give back and that will continue to be my plan ever forward. As I said, those who don't believe me will just have to wait and see. They don't know me and their assumptions cast a shadow on them more than me.  That is how you must move forward too. 

So, want to write a book? Do it!
Want to ride a bike? Do it!
Want to take up golf? Do it!
Want to paint pictures? Do it!
Want to make videos about taking sledgehammers to wrecked cars? Well, yeah, do it!

And, if you do get paid for it, what would be wrong with that? I would call you lucky! Then, show others your success, especially if you have a disability! Let your accomplishment inspire others to live too! That's my goal!

Now.... what are you going to do?

Persevering with Disabilities Spotlight: Donna Bell

Living past disabilities takes guts. Today I am going to tell you about someone who must be some kind of commando on that point. Her name is Donna Bell of Louisiana. 

When Donna was 19 she was in a terrible car accident that sentenced her to life in a wheelchair without use of her arms or legs. She has no movement from the shoulders down. I'm sure there was a gut-tearing transitional period for her, but she's become something far more amazing. Look at this:

I love Groo the Wanderer and she did this picture with her mouth. That's right, her mouth. Now, I tried this. I put a pen in my teeth and tried to write my name. I won't even post the result. It was less than chicken scratch. Learning to do this is not easy by any frame of the imagination. I would have an easier time becoming left handed. And yes, I'm an artist. But you know what? She doesn't stop at drawing:

Yeah, crochet. She crochets with her teeth. I showed this to my wife who does crochet and she couldn't fathom it. But there it is and she's been recognized and seen in action by her town's media. Over the years, she's developed into an artistic dynamo and she's right here in Louisiana.

Okay, all that being said, it's time for the turn off section. This is the section where I tell you what's up and you say "oh not again" and walk away. But I challenge you  not to do that. These times of ours call for humanitarian efforts and the deserving should get the assistance. Some people just deserve to be rewarded in life. Yes there is a fundraiser. It's to get this awesome woman a wheelchair accessible van.

Still here? Good! I commend you. I know there are fundraisers a billion out there and we seen ten of them every day. Much as we would like to, we just can't help them all. That being said, I ask you to consider this being one of those times you pitch a five spot into the bucket to help someone deserving. Someone who's been a hero for themselves at the very least. She's never had a powered wheelchair even and look at all she's done. She deserves it people. Now, in order to put a face to the name and see the details, I have to give you a link to my friend Rodney Pike's page. He has even more details, more art and believe me; it's amazing.

LINK

And if you can do nothing else... SHARE THAT BLOG. Not this one, the one in the link! Come on folks, show some compassion for a fellow artist and someone who's not just crying and whining in life. She's a trooper and she deserves this! My man, Rodney can give you any other information you need.

Thank you for your consideration!

Why we need Autism Education more than ever

Do you call it "awareness"? Maybe you prefer "acceptance"? Whatever term you prefer to use, you're going to be close to the same mark. You can't have one without the other and you can't have any of it without education. This is more important now than it's ever been and that's not a issue that will decrease with time. I'm writing this to provide a list of reasons that prove what I'm saying. I'm even going out on a limb to say they're irrefutable. Let's see what  you think:

Because it's on the rise:  Right now the national averages put autism at 1-88 children. In some places it's more like 1-60, others it's 1-100, but 1-88 is the average ratio. That is an increase in cases from just 5 years ago when the average was 1-100 with the variation being more 80's to around 110. It's hard to say just how the new DSM is going to affect those numbers, but I don't see them dropping. Asperger's as a term may have been dropped, but it's being called simply "autism". That actually could raise the numbers even higher as the forms are lumped together and measured by severity instead of name. Further proof comes from a simple truth that supports the increase in numbers. It's a force of Nature because:

It's hereditary: Children with autism are growing into adults with autism. Just like I did, they are having children with autism. It's the cycle of life and nothing is likely to stop it anytime soon (save a planetary disaster). While all factors of this are in controversy, the hereditary nature is agreed upon. Check out this Wikipedia article. If you hate Wikipedia, maybe the Mayo Clinic is enough to convince you? As both point out, autism has a "strong hereditary factor". So, as long as people grow up and have kids who grow up and have kids, this won't be stopping anytime soon.

Because it's controversial: Autism brings controversy in ways never seen by a medical condition in history. It's the most controversial medical condition ever. You see it in commercials, talks online, in groups, and at gatherings. The autism community is split into factions as much as religion or politics with people who defend their beliefs with equal tenacity. Just look at all the fights over Autism Speaks. There are thousands of supporters to Autism Speaks and just as many who hate them. Someone who reads this will hate me just because I mention their name. Speaking of that, the division of the community is so bad that groups will resort to borderline racial slurs of each other. So autism, not only has it's own scale of belief systems but; for some, it's almost its own ethnic race. All of this goes to the level of picket lines and huge demonstrative gatherings for each side. If there's one thing that shouts for education to save the day, it's this! Further controversy goes into the fact that there are still hundreds of people out there who don't believe autism is even real. That includes some doctors.

Because kids go to school: IEP's are going to become even more common than before. Some public school systems complain that they are overrun with IEP issues. It gets worse because most states seem to think that this is the time to cut funding to schools across the nation. Thanks to population growth and the fact that autism is on the rise as documented, they couldn't make a worse decision if it involved drilling holes in their heads. Kids with autism have vastly differing needs. That means more IEP's. That means more costs. They need more funding, not less. So there's another entire group of people who apparently need educating (and they're supposed to be educating our kids).

Because autistic kids become autistic adults: In recent years a genius leap was made where people realized that kids actually grow up sometimes. That created a whole new scale of needs, support requirements and need of education on its own. Strides are being made forward, but more is still needed. As the autism community grows you can bet the need will.

Because of the Media: Let's face it, the media hasn't always been an ally to autism. Sometimes they fudge it up and wind up creating an image for autism that's completely off mark. Some small efforts have been made to change those mistakes, but they are small. I'm talking about the mention, clear at the end of a segment about Adam Lanza that pointed out; "people with autism are no more prone to violent crime than anyone else".  Yep, one whole sentence. I'm glad they said it. Still, keep the media properly educated takes a constant and diligent effort. Not only is there the news to deal with, but an explosion in "autistic" characters in television and movies. That means we have to work even harder to make sure people understand that we aren't all like Dr. House or Sherlock Holmes. We aren't all like Will Graham (of Hannibal) or the boy from Touch. While they're interesting characters, they don't hold a candle to what all of our community is like.

Because of insane costs: Families with autism still face way too many out of pocket expenses. Some of this comes from difficulty getting the professionals to see how much help is needed. Some of it comes from insurance companies not covering all facets of treatment. Insurance companies need education like anyone else, and it appears they still  haven't got it all. Google "autism costs" and get ready for a reality check. With numbers growing, you can bet costs won't be going down.

Because of social ignorance: Where couldn't I go with this? How about the shocking unemployment rate among autistic adults? The reports of difficulty getting halfway considered for jobs are out of this world. It's ridiculous. Good people are falling through the cracks of equal opportunity. Other disabilities still take a hit, but it's harder to prove with "invisible" conditions. Well, employers are in for a wake up call in coming generations, aren't they? Then we can look at bullying and abuse that still happen because it's chaos growing up with autism. It's all over the internet and national news somewhere every day.

Because of apathy in emergency services: Not just apathy, pure lack of education. While there are programs touring to help police, fire and ambulance work with people who have autism; they're going to have to up the ante. Where you once had one autistic child in a household, you now have a whole family on the spectrum. As long as there are people being beaten, pepper-sprayed, and tazed for little more than having a "quirk", education will be a top concern. Obviously, someone didn't know enough and a tragedy happened. People are dying from this.

Finally, autism isn't the only community growing by leaps and bounds with hereditary issues. Bipolar is keeping a steady pace. Mental illness is on the rise in our country and around the world at alarming rates every year. Along with that is an equal increase in discrimination and stigma. It's not a fun life for people with these conditions. For those who say "just lock up all the crazy people", they best be careful. One day that might just be everyone.