California school wants to pay to keep autistic child OUT

(Credit to photo: Sydney Lupkin, World News)

It never ceases to amaze me, the horrifying leaps that school systems will take to cover their own spotted rear ends. When they think it's just too much trouble for them to do their jobs and give someone their right to education as written in law. Well, today's story really takes the cake and takes a big steaming dump in the middle of it. Get the details here and I'll explain. Yes, that's a link to the news story!

Okay? Did you get it all? Now some of you, as you are sitting there are probably shaking your heads. There are a couple of things about this story that will cause that. However, they don't matter in the grand scheme of it all.

Like the fact that David Swanson is 21 and his time is about up for what the law allows. But the law is the law, people. If this is allowed to slide, who's kid will it happen to next? As it is, David has severe autism, diabetes, and is non-verbal. The law says he has a right to be there. And why is the system so worried?

They force fed him his own gagged up food.  Apparently this was to teach a child with severe disability some kind of twisted life lesson. I can think of a number of life lessons I would like to teach the lady that did that, but I risk really losing composure. This is grotesque and cruel. It's abuse, plain an simple. And so his mother, Heather Houston, did what any parent should do. She filed complaints. That didn't sit well with the uppity school system that could do no wrong. Of course it didn't.

They offered a settlement of $86,000 to basically go away. Let's face it. That's exactly what it is. It comes with stipulations that she drop all complaints and may not file complaint against them again. Yes, the said the money is to take him to a private school, but here's what makes this an exceptional smoking pile of bull:

The law says they have to do that anyway, stipulations not included. Think about that for a second. The law says, if the school finds they cannot provide FEPA that it falls on them to place the student in the alternative educational setting and pay for it. It is not supposed to be "throw money at the parent and kick them out the door (with a list of stupid demands)". Her complaints will more than net this for her without their worthless offer. Yes, I said worthless. It comes no where near what would be needed to pay for the costs of a private educational setting with all his needs met. And their stipulations are especially garbage because they are supposed to do this anyway. Leave it to some stuck on themselves group of educators to try and make what they're supposed to do by law sound like some big generous thing on their part.

Heather Houston does not want their money. Apparently this comes as a big surprise to some of the commentors on the link above. They still accuse her of it even after the article says she didn't want their money. What she wants is what her son has a legal right to. It's also what your child has a legal right to. Should a year's difference make it okay to treat your child like that? Do tell.

Hold them accountable. That's my message to Heather. Don't give up. Don't take their pitiful dodge attempt. Don't let them get away with it. The educational system needs major changes for things like this. For example, it's almost impossible to fire a teacher. That's the most ridiculous thing in any job field ever. I realize everyone needs job security; but if you force field a child his own coughed up chunks until he vomits, you should be out of a job and being prosecuted to boot.

Now Heather and the nurse, Annette Armstrong have chimed in on their position in the comments. I applaud them. Keep up the good work, ladies and God bless!

After "Raised in Hell"

A lot of people have seen my first book that has gone to thousands of families for free. The book leaves off at a point where I get on a Greyhound bus in Barstow, California headed for Salt Lake City.

What's the big idea about that? The premise of the book is my growing up undiagnosed (autism and bi-polar disorder) through a chaotic childhood. It was my experiences growing up in an age and location where they just weren't diagnosing my age group for those things. Even though they sent me to a hospital at age 12/13, my diagnosis remained "guarded" for the full scale of it.

In Raised in Hell, I survived a chaotic life that involved:

-living in foster homes (some abusive) during my parents divorce (approx age 4)

-living with an abusive (drunk and drugged) step parent until I ran away from home at 14 (started age 6)

-having self abusive seizure like episodes that I am now medicated for (from age 6 on)

-surviving violent bullying from grade 5 until I left home at age 14 (due to moving this involved several different schools)

-never understanding myself as a person

If you want to catch up before I go on, you can download my book here for free:  LINK

Just scroll down the page until you see the title and the word "download". It is SAFE. You will get a simple PDF.

From this edition forward, my blog will take you into the memoirs of what happened after I got on that bus and headed to Salt Lake City, where I believed I was going to be picked up by an adult who knew me. Well, I can tell you I wasn't picked up by anyone when I got off that bus, but that's for next time.

So I hope you will follow along in the continuation of my story as I moved into a stage of life where I had to learn to fend for myself.  That would be from late age 16 into my adult years, still unaware of my medical conditions and still misjudged for them. Still a shining example of why diagnosis, care and support are important. Remember, I wasn't diagnosed until around 2005-2006 after my son was diagnosed at age 3.

Until then, support each over and be good to yourselves.

Kids told they are bad, will eventually believe it

It never ceases to amaze me, the horror stories I get from parents who approach me for input and advice on their situations. It also never ceases to amaze me, the level of warped ideas an entire community or group can get when it comes to children and their upbringing.

I recently had a parent come to me and tell me about her son's problems in school. He's acting out and refusing to comply with instructions in class. On it's own, that brings about judgments of and assumptions of brathood, but get this.

First, the school and teacher herself are disregarding the 9 year olds medical diagnosis of autism or any other disorder. They dismiss it as him "just" being difficult.

Second, the teacher has literally stated to parent and child alike that she's "sick of wasting her time" on this child.

Third, the child has been labelled by the school staff as a "menace to society" since either during or just after Kindergarten!

People, please hear me on this, when you constantly deliver a message to a child of what a failure or waste of time they are, sooner or later they are going to BELIEVE YOU!

This child has been ABUSED by the very people who are supposed to be educating and working with him. Not the parent, but a whole school! Abuse in schools must stop!

Current report from the boy's mother states that this child hates himself. Let's note those two words again... HATES HIMSELF. Now why in the world does a 9 year old child hate himself? Well, refer to the above because I just gave three really solid reasons! Because of the message this boy now believes, he needs therapy, he needs lots of therapy. He needs all that he has been taught about himself undone and retaught. THAT should be at the expense of the school district.

And if they are facing layoffs, teachers and staff who humiliate grade school children and destroy their self esteem should be the first jobs on the chopping block. It's child abuse!

I'm sorry, but these stories just infuriate me. Some get into media, like a little girl a few states away whose teacher wrote the word LOSER on all her homework assignments. He needs to be fired, I hope he was. That guy is a direct threat to the children in his class.

Our schools need to get with the times. These, our special needs kids, are increasing in number and science and current counts prove that it's going to keep doing that. They can either adjust for this change in students, or be overwhelmed and see a marked increase in homeschooling and lawsuits. It's your choice, educators of America, which way will you choose?

Autistic Opinion: Teacher Reinstated

Sometime last year, a kindergarten teacher named, Wendy Portillo decided she had enough of little Alex Barton. She didn't like his behavior, never mind the fact he was in process of a medical diagnosis. She didn't understand him and demonstrated that she didn't care to. She stood little Alex up in front of his class. She then instructed each student to stand up, look at him and say something they didn't like about him.

Alex has Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that caused all of his irregular behaviors.

Wendy Portillo was suspended and had her credentials stripped away. Most fitting for committing child abuse in my opinion. But it didn't last.

The School board in Port St Lucie, Florida decided to reinstate her recently. Apparently, a reported dozens of parents and teachers, flocked to her aid. They said she just made a mistake and to give her another chance. A mistake is what they called it. I find that ridiculous and I'll tell you why.

Wendy Portillo emotionally and mentally abused Alex Barton because she just couldn't hold her temper with him anymore. What happens when a parent is caught abusing their own child, much less someone elses?

Not only that, but as a teacher, someone those children looked to for knowledge, she taught bullying as a way to deal with kids you don't like. That was bullying in the classroom.

Wendy Portillo hurt a child, used other children to do it and as a teacher that should be unforgivable. Unfortunately for the town of Port St Lucie, "dozens" of parents and teachers think thats A-OK or "just a mistake". What do you think?

Autism and Trauma Part 4: Crime and Loss

I wrote some time ago about my son's missing toy dog, named Nunya. It was his very favorite and once in a while he brings it up and can't let it go. It brings him to tears that we can't find it. I can only reassure him that perhaps it's in a better place or some spot we just haven't been able to reach. I don't know how his little stuffed dog vanished, but it's gone. I've taught him that sometimes we lose things and there's really nothing we can do about it. It is a lesson I will have to reteach him and reinforce for years to come. It will nearly always be over the same lost toy. That's how hard it is for an autistic child to let go of a lost object. It's traumatizing and requires additional support and teaching.

That's not to say that loss isn't difficult for the typical child or person, it's just harder at much simpler levels than it takes for a typical child. Traumatic loss can break an autistic's world and cause regression and depression. Not good things for our kids to have on any level.

The response for this is redirection, reassurance of positive things and possibly even therapy. It's important to be quick to teach and react so that you can start working on corrective support right away.

Even worse is the nightmarish idea that any of our children could be the victim of a crime. I know of one case where I cannot give names. The autistic child was molested by a teacher. What made this case particularly difficult was the fact that the child was already fairly non-verbal. Victimizing a child is a heinous act, moreso to me, when it involves a child with disabilities. The truth could still be found however in therapy, doctors assistance, and parents who know their children. His behavior changed enough that they knew something was wrong. What about those who are even less functioning? How much function do you think they will gain?

If you said they will lose function and may regress into themselves, you got the bull's eye! Children with most forms of autism, even if high functioning are considered gullible and may not realize they are in danger. They are twice as likely to believe a stranger's lies even if told not to. That's why you have to reinforce all teachings here more than with any typical child.

Everywhere I go, I reinforce with my son that he must stay right beside me and I often have a hand on his shoulder or I hold onto a portion of his shirt in my fingers. I don't do this harshly, rather lightly. If I feel his clothing slip from my fingers, I know I need to see what he is doing. My own high sensitivities help me to keep an eye on him and register even the slightest movement he makes. I never allow him to leave my sight alone with anyone I don't know. Even in my local Doctor's office, that is small and highly trustworthy, I'm nervous if he's out of sight. Overprotective? You bet I am.

Even so, there is always the chance of something happening to our children that is out of our control. We have to make sure that we are there for our children no matter what. Take reports seriously and investigate them. Get them proper treatment and support with fire alarm haste. Early intervention and support are key in treating trauma for crime victimization.

While this isn't as common as bullying, it's damage capability cannot be ignored.

Part five is the last part of my blog series on the effects of trauma on autism. I hope that you can see the differences in the types of trauma and how they can affect the autistic so much faster and harder than with a typical person. In the same manner it is also more difficult to treat because of the social disabilities that they have. It's hard enough to understand the social world around us, but hurt us with it and it's just that much worse.

Autism and Trauma Part Two: Bullying

Bullying is killing our children. Don't believe me? Put the words "bullied to death" in your search bar or Google them and see what you get. You'll see a list that boasts over 32 million results for how children are being relentlessly tortured by their peers. You'll find stories of schools getting sued because they failed to protect a child on their premises, and he or she took their own life. Time magazine recently put out an article on two eleven year old boys who hung themselves because they just didn't know where to turn. They were accused of being 'gay' and harassed to a breaking point. So far as I found, those were neurotypical children. They were bullied because they were different. If our typical children find it hard to escape or let it go, how must that be for the autistic?


I survived bullying that has brought instant tears to the eyes of some of my readers in the past. For that matter, it shocked many just by talking about it. Much of what happened to me ocurred in the presence of an adult. Why didn't they intercede? They were under the impression that we were just being kids. A boy on the playground once looked at me strangely and said, "Here, let me fix that for you." Being an Asperger's child, I took him literally, having no idea what he intended. He put one hand on the back of my head and the other over my nose. He pressed suddenly and hard, blood erupted down my face. "There, that's better," he said with a smile. I went straight to the teacher on the playground. I don't remember him getting any more than a minor 'slap on the wrist'. No follow up was done and every day on the play ground after that, he would smile at me from a distance until I noticed him and then run away.


That was in elementary school around fifth grade. Junior High was truly a nightmare. I was singled out for just about everything I did or every reaction I had. Between every class I ran a guantlet trying to avoid being shoved into lockers, having my books taken away and thrown downstairs or in the garbage, being kicked and punched, or even shoved down the stairs myself. I walked home from school an average of twice a week with blood on my face from my nose or mouth. I had no safe haven and there was no justice.


"Why don't you just be normal?" the adults would ask sternly. So it was my fault that other kids wanted to brutalize me. I know today that isn't true, but that was the loud and clear message to me back then. Besides that, I could not be normal. I had autism, though Asperger's is a self masking condition and no one knew. The simple fact is this, I am not now, not then, nor shall ever be, normal. It's a word I have come to despise.


So, what can we do about bullying in our schools across the nation? Education is the answer. We need to teach our children that hurting each other, teasing each other, is wrong. Stop passing it off as 'they're just being kids' because that's just not true any more. Child cruelty is growing out of control by leaps and bounds. When a child as young as seven years old, decides to take his own life, you lose the power to say, "he was just being a kid".


Schools need to implement a zero tolerance policy with mandatory counseling for both bully and victim. Make that policy known in every single classroom. Get the kids involved. When ever bullying is witnessed, all the kids should point right at the bullying child and say, "Hey! NO BULLYING!". It's an instantaneous public and social response that puts the bully on the spot by his peers.


I also suggest the book, Asperger's Syndrome and Bullying by Nick Dubin. He's an autistic author I have come to respect a great deal from his writing. You can find his books on Amazon. The school my son goes to has a beautiful program called 4>2 (Four is greater than two), or better said as 'for is greater than to'. It simply means that doing something for someone is better than doing something to someone. It is taught through all the grades of his school and powerfully advertised with bulletins on every wall. It's a system that has impressed me greatly.

If you see a need at your child's school to combat bullying. You must pull all stops. Print out this blog and show it to the faculty of that school. Print out the stories of lost children and use them as teaching aids as well. Find public speakers (like Nick Dubin and myself) to talk to the school and teach them about how bullying must stop and what can be done about it. Or take the podium yourself and share your own experiences. Help your school to implement a program. You can also demand that the school take steps to protect your child from an aggressor. If they absolutely will not take action after all these steps, you may have to consider the consult of an attorney. Our public schools are obligated to protect our children. This has now been proven by case law across the country.

I survived bullying in order to spread education on the trauma it causes. Even the most good natured teasing can be tough for our autistic kids, so imagine what outright bullying does. Take action, stop bullying.

Part 3 will be about abuse, so stay tuned and thank you.

Autism and Trauma: Part one

I know I've mentioned before that traumatic events are harder on autistics, but why is that? First lets take a look at what constitutes a traumatic event:

Fear: We actually have a very sensitive startle reflex that others have trouble understanding. They say, "why is it so easy to scare that guy?" and confuse it with a personality flaw. Depending on how hard we get startled we can face two-fold trauma of what startled us and public embarrassment.

Bullying/Abuse: Asperger's children are highly susceptible to bullying and can run into abuse situations easily as well. Since I am a survivor of both I can cite some definite examples. For one, since my behavior simply was not like any other child, I carried a large bull's eye with me every where I went. Even though I changed schools often, the outcome was always the same. My reactions made other kids laugh and some got downright cruel to get those reactions. Children without proper diagnosis, with parents that are frustrated with them and don't understand what is really going on, can submit a child to abusive situations, even if unintended. The trauma of feeling worthless or unloved still takes it's toll heavily.

Crime Victimization: Becoming the victim of a crime is highly traumatizing in it's own right. Add the oversensitivity and black/white thinking of an autistic and it's pure chaotic terror. Loss: Losing a family member, friend, way of life or even an object can induce traumatic effect.

Sensory Events: This often rides hand in hand with the startle reflex, however, can be harsh on it's own as well. Loud sounds that cause pain or discomfort (or other sensory effects of the same outcome) can create longlasting memory.

So, why are these so much harder on the autistic? Simply put, we are typically very late in developing the defense mechanisms to protect ourselves and cope with things around us. We find it hard to let things go even if they seem small to everyone else. Our needs of routine, sameness and predictability are as strong as our need of food, water, and shelter. It takes years of practice and learning to be able to handle some of the most basic changes in our lives. When you take someone who is so sensitive to their surroundings that moving and object two inches upsets them, what do you think the effects of moving into a new house will do? To a neuro-typical person, this is pretty commonplace these days and you can "get over it". To an autistic, it's destruction of everything they know.

So traumatic events can start with smaller events than would affect a typical person. With the impaired coping mechanisms, it may be impossible to let go of events that occur for much longer than typical. How, then, can we help with trauma of such a sensitive scale? With early intervention and constant support techniques. With Asperger's syndrome and high functioning autistics, it is possible to help get past some forms of trauma. It takes constant practice and reassurance, but it can be done. Take my son, for example. He had the misfortune of a dog biting one of his little fingers. He's now terrified of dogs. I take every opportunity I can, to introduce him to friendly dogs that we meet. Sometimes he'll touch and pet them, sometimes he won't. In either case, he gets to see a friendly dog with others, like me, petting it and getting positive reactions.

Naturally there's a lot to be said for timely counseling and interventions. Especially with bullying but that will be another blog. In my next blogs, I am going to go into each area of trauma and tell you how to handle them. So stay tuned, part 2 is in production now.