Chris Cox Rox on Multiple Sclerosis and YOU can help!

I was just about to go and work on an art piece I have scheduled when I saw that an online friend needs a hand. This isn't just any online friend by the way. This is Chris Cox.

What? You want to know who that is? He's the lead singer of Mudd Farm, but that's not all. Oh, you think this is just some Youtube band going for glory? You're wrong there, buddy. He's done been there and back again. He's been rocking the stage since before 1993.






He was even on MTV!



So he's not some wannabe or just some ranter online. He's the real deal. And he's gotten the moral support of people every bit as real if not moreso...

Yeah, Dee Snyder as in Twisted Sister fame from the 80's. Don't tell me you don't know who that is! Oh fine;



If that's still not enough to convince you, check out his page where he has tons of supporters doing this:

Now that's moral support!

So what does Chris have to do with MS? Well, in 2006 he was diagnosed with this nerve eating disease. I know how he feels because I have it too. Since then, well, check THIS.

Chris wants to make a documentary about living with MS to educate others. He's currently running a Kickstarter campaign to raise the needed funding. Now I just wish I had the capital to help him out like deserved, but I don't. So I'm doing this. You may further as why I'm kickin this blog article off the way I am. Well let me tell you about something else, something I stand against.

Seems like some people on Facebook still have twitchy spam fingers. Rather than drop someone from their page and just walk away, they have to call down the FB Police to have his freedom of speech messed with. So I'm posting this because I want you to see that Chris Cox is totally for real.

He could be doing a lot worse than something as positive as this. He's doing something right and I'm standing up for it right here and now. YOU can help. Tell people about his rocking Kickstarter campaign or toss a few bucks in yourself. You'll be supporting an education that really does ROCK.

Living with MS is no picnic and way too many people don't understand. They prove they're lack of understanding by telling us to go be mushroom people, sitting in the corner, sucking up our benefits; just to get out of their way. They prove this by then saying, "Hey you don't LOOK sick"! The misjudgment and stigma are hurtful and degrading. It's time for it to stop. Here's another tidbit for those of you who just want people like Chris and me to shut up; by today's statistics you have a whopping 50% chance of being just as disabled as me by my age. I'm 43 as I write this, so good luck to you.

And it's not just MS that we need to show some respect to, there's more that wind up leading to Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, and then there's Autism, and way more. The numbers are growing, and it's time to start caring.

So rock with Chris Cox and be a hero. Help spread the word. It's not spam, it's a worthwhile project and way better than just sitting around waiting to die. What would you do? Never give up, people, never give up. Now come on and let's get the word around.

How to be and not be an advocate

So you want to be an advocate. You want to help others with a cause in some way. Most advocates on the internet are volunteers, using what they know to help others. Some actually have a good relationship with schools and law enforcement; others even have some legal pull. Whichever of these you want to be, you will have to consider a few things that I strongly advise. I advise this from personal experience and events I have personally witnessed. I hope this helps you. Consider it a ‘do’s and don’ts of advocacy. I’m going to speak from the advocacy of autism, but this really does go about the same for whatever cause you support.

First of all, if you want to be an advocate with legal backing of any kind, make sure you get the education and any proper licenses you need. Take classes and obtain a degree. Don’t go out and make wild claims to puff yourself up, like claiming to be a DC Lobbyist. Things like this (all DC Lobbyists are accounted for and fully listed for the public) are easily found out and will hurt your standing as a trustworthy advocate. Be able and willing to show your credentials if you claim to be a legal advocate. The sad truth is that some people out there just want your money or to be seen as something important. They are willing to use others to achieve this. Don’t be one of them. Advocates like this can do way more harm than good.

Educate yourself on your cause as much as you can and always be ready to update that education as terms and issues change. Research, research, research, learn how to do research. The more you educate yourself, the more help you can be to others.
Aside from your working knowledge, you need to protect your image. A lot of internet advocates don’t do this. Your image is how people see you and worse, how they may choose to portray you. I can tell you that autism is as bad as politics when it comes to advocate mudslinging. There are advocates out there who see this as a competition for who you should go to. Don’t get involved in that. Let me tell you a little story, (some of you long time readers may know it already).

In late 2009, a young man with autism was restrained in his school and struggled to get free. He was charged with felony assault and the family was in turmoil. The boy’s grandmother came to the internet seeking any help she could. Advocates came together and put up a “chip in” to raise money for legal fees. During this time (into 2010) the Grandmother stated she was being harassed and investigated by a group of other “people” on the internet. I stepped in and tried to get them to stop. I tried to be Mr. Internet Hero and let me tell you something. Pay close attention to these words.

It blew up in my face. Do NOT do this.

All I did was make myself a target. I thought I should warn the autism community about my experience and that was the wrong thing to do to. I had my past dug into and slathered on the internet (20 years into my past). There was a case where I filed a suit against and an employer. Naturally they made several accusations against me to protect themselves. Those digging, took those accusations and posted them on the internet for all to see. Accusations that are not an accurate reflection of who I am were posted and they were damaging. I’ve been fortunate to have readers who know me and were able to see how much hostility were in the postings. Since then, to this day, I’ve been hounded, harassed, and even threatened. I’ve been accused of being some ringleader of white collar crime and had everyone who wants to put me in their own internet court room pop out of the woodwork. I’ve had some of the nastiest comments and postings you could ever think of posted at or about me. It’s not pretty, not nice, mature or ethical. All because I thought I was standing up for someone else.

If you want to stand up for someone’s rights, do it with the people who matter to those rights. Tell your client to block all attackers, that’s what the block button is for. And then block them yourself. Do not confront, you have no idea what kind of mentalities you will be dealing with and they will attack your image and anything else they can.

I have found that my advocacy is best done as simply giving out the information that may help others. I give advice where I can and will no longer ever engage in trying to “protect someone” on the internet. I can’t. I will give advice on what to do. Block them, ignore them, and keep up on what’s important. There are many internet advocates who go out and pull the “rallying” card to get people to shut so and so down, etc. It’s not worth it. All you’ll do is make yourself a target. Put the time into actually helping others, a far more rewarding issue. I’ve gone so far as to remove all mentions of negativity and other “advocates” or attackers from my blog for sake of being a more positive place for others. The same cannot be said for my pursuers. So learn something from my mistake, okay? Avoid the dramas the best you can.

So, hopefully, this gives you some ideas on what you should and shouldn’t do to be an advocate. Remember there are several types of advocates, research them to see what you can do best.

Risks of advocacy

My purpose in advocacy is to inform and assist families and people in finding helpful information. I want the general public to simply know and understand more about autism. In doing this, I discovered those who victimize people on the spectrum and their families. I decided that people need to be informed on them as well. Even in that, you have to be careful who you get involved with. Especially who you get involved with on the internet. You have to be careful who you trust. And sharing information on people who may rip you off will make you some enemies. Those people don't like being exposed.

Seeing the depths that such people will go to when they claim to be advocates themselves, has been a real learning experience for me. It's shown me where I need to have a thicker skin to shrug them off. When you are autistic yourself, that's not always so easy. You can get hung up on the injustice of it all and it can get under your skin. But it really is amazing what these people will spend their time on when they could be educating on autism themselves. So this blog is dedicated to all of those advocates who struggle to do the right thing in spite of these behaviors from haters. Also to those of you who want to be an advocate.

Because some people take being an advocate and turn it into the chasing of the spotlight. They think it's supposed to be how they become famous and anyone else who gets any attention besides them is an enemy. It may be anything from jealousy to serious mental illness that drives them. They will go out of their way, spend months of time and even money to do low and terrible things. In short, they resort to internet bullying. At that point, they are not advocates any more and stand for nothing good what so ever. They only care about themselves. Some are full of audacity and false authority at the same time and will try to make you answer to them as if they are some special court. That's different from simply informing on your personal experiences or someone asking for your money and the things they are doing recently (compared to umpteen years ago).

I've already talked about these people in my blogs and anyone who has been following my writing knows the details in and out. My point is that, if you want to be an advocate, you may face people like this and there's more than what I've even posted.

You may, for example, stand up for someone and their rights. You may be supportive to that person and even a friend. That person may turn out to be one of the fame seekers who will turn on you and stab you in the back. When you see those true colors emerge, the best thing you can do is walk away. And that won't feel good. And sometimes, that won't be enough to stop that person. They may go to lengths of posting comments about you under pseudo identities all over the internet. They may follow your blogs and stalk on them just as badly as the pseudo authoritarian.

The reality is that they feel you somehow threaten their success. They want you to fail. What you need to understand and keep in mind about them is this: They are the ones who will ultimately fail. They are on a course of self destruction. You have to keep that in mind and not let that stop you from helping someone else. Don't let them push you down for any reason. Your work will show what you are really about to anyone with any cognitive thinking ability. The same goes for your reasons for doing that work. It will show for anyone who wants to give you a fair chance to be known.

Another risk is the people you defend and their enemies. People who are discriminating or attacking someone you are trying to help, will turn on you as well. It comes with the territory. You must keep in mind that these people have a mob/pack mentality and will act like animals of the same. You cannot educate them and they often have their own agendas. Some, because they think they are better than everyone else when they're just a bunch of dangerous fanatics. They will resort to stalking just like the others and other immature and sometimes frightening behavior.

They will twist your words and post partial quotes from you in manners that completely alter your context. They will post web pages dedicated to you with inappropriate photos, slurs, slander, libel and any other insulting insinuations they can invent. Some of the really sly ones will skirt just short of the laws that would have them prosecuted. Why? Because their true intent is to do harm. Anyone who gets in their way is a target for their rage. They're selfish and psychologically imbalanced. Be prepared.

Now, remember this: Words on a screen, photos posted on a website, insinuations and insults, cannot kill you. They are stressful and they are wrong, but you can brush them off. I have recently had to learn this the hard way myself. You can seek legal action, but under most circumstances, it will be very expensive. You have to balance what it is really worth to you and what that person can really do to you. Even if they take something deep in your past and splatter it like fecal matter all over the internet, calling you a criminal and trying to make it look like you're a total low life, it can only hurt you with people who aren't fair enough to look at the whole situation or the person you are today. There are points where you can report them to the authorities and there are laws regarding misuse of public information that you can report as well. Past that, you have to carry on and not let them stop you.

For example, many of you know that I have a group of stalkers following along and reading my blog. They will read this posting too. They take snippets of what I say and post them with insinuations, accusations and exaggerations for no other purpose than to try and hurt me. They want me to look bad. They want to do damage. But, thanks to the overwhelming number of supportive messages I have received, I have learned something. A few things actually:

1: They cannot hurt me. All they have shown the power to do is alter the light and image of things to try and make them look like something more than what they are, or blatantly what they are not. At this point, the more they do this, the worse they look themselves.

2: They cannot STOP me. Nope. I'll click publish post on this blog and it'll post just like the rest and I'll do the same for the next one and the next one. I have a long history of helping others and will continue to do so no matter what they do. And, as stated above, my work will stand on it's own.

3: They're helping me. Surprised? Consider this: my stalkers continuously post my name in taglines and the subject matter of their blogs. Any reasonable person who reads their work about me is likely to come and look because they simply want to see for themselves. I know this, because people actually found me by googling my name after reading that work. Those persons are some of who sent those supportive messages after reading what they found. So, in the end, I got free marketing out of it. Not that I'm seeking fame, my purpose is stated way above, but even negative publicity is still publicity. So, the more my name is posted, the more it can actually be found. The more my name is posted, the larger my internet presence becomes. And that's despite the negative intentions.

So, if you are considering becoming and advocate, take all these things into consideration. And please, become an advocate for the right reason. Helping others is what it's about.

Advocates Against Fraud in Advocacy

I'm writing this because I want you to know about AAFA and my position with them. I like to be clear and provide information where I can for all who may just want to know.

First of all, what is AAFA? Well, you can see the website and explanation HERE.

If you read the explanation on the page, it's pretty straightforward. The idea is to try to help protect families from being taken advantage of. Families desperate to help their kids get scammed by people claiming to be advocates. It's a devastating blow to an already bleak situation. The family winds up losing money and they have nothing to show for it except financial damages on top of the situation with their child or family member in need of support. Our goal is to create a place you can go to, to ask about that advocate and have extra eyes and thoughts on what you should do.

At this point, it's important to point out that (while I have law enforcement background), we are NOT law enforcement. We are not going to arrest or convict anyone. If we see that a crime may be in process, we report to the proper authorities, just like anyone should.

I have seen some questions come up about AAFA and I'd like to answer them here.

Are we qualified?: All of us have background and ability in researching. The important thing to know here is that the information we research is already public information. Anyone can look it up, but most don't know how. There are no legal qualifications, diplomas or licenses required to look up public information. We do what anyone should do before giving money to anyone. Best of all, we don't charge any fees.

Who do we go after?: First of all, that's not a very good term. We investigate and research. We don't just do that on anyone who comes along. The idea is that you can come to us with questions about an advocate who's asking you for money and we can research that advocate. We don't "go after" people because we "don't like them". We do research because of concerns brought to us by people like you. Then we report on what we find and all of what we find. That way you can see everything in the exact context we find it in.

What do we look for?: News reports, wild claims that turn out to be false, public accessed legal documentation. We basically look to see that the person is who and what they claim they are. We look for up to date and current information that will help you decide if you should give this person your hard earned money. Examples:

-Current criminal history: if the person just got out of prison last week from embezzlement charges or currently faces charges, you should know it.

-Claims of Grandeur: To inspire confidence some may make brash claims about themselves that aren't true. Some can be verified easily (and when they can't it's a red flag). Such as claiming to be an official NASCAR race car driver or DC Lobbyist. DC Lobbyists are all registered on a public access list. We had someone make this claim but couldn't be found on ANY list.

-Multiple Reports of Concern: How many people come forward on their experiences is important to note. If 10s to 20s to even 100s of people are saying they've been scammed by this person, you shouldn't give them your money.

-And how does this person react to us?: If they react by stalking and smearing measures, it says we're on the right track. We'll report on those as well. We've had some of these measures include attacking our religious beliefs, disability status, or education. We've even had web pages dedicated to us in obscene fashion. Does attacking any of that sound like an advocate to you?

In the past I've reported on my personal experiences with people who call themselves everything from and advocate to an organization. Because these people openly ask for donations or fees, reporting on them and experiences with them is little different than sharing experiences with any business. You know, like writing a business review. Let's say you're looking for a mechanic to fix your car. In looking around, you find one but you're pretty savvy and look for reviews. You find out that he's been in the news for being sued a few times and has lots of complaints against his work. Are you going to him? I doubt it. And everyone who had the experience has every right to report on it. Now, if he starts stalking people who report on him and putting up posters about their personal lives (maybe stuff he dug up from 30 years ago in someone's grade school), AND tries to say that's the same thing as done with him... what do you think of him then? Yes, that means there are risks, but we take them, so you don't have to.

We are very open to questions about what we do and we certainly don't think of ourselves as higher or better than anyone else. We simply want to help protect families from scams and false advocacy. If you have any concerns or would like our help, contact us through the website at the link above.

And what's my position? I'm an adviser on the board for AAFA. I do help in the researching and some decision making processes.

You can see another blog from board member, Amy Caraballo HERE.