How to be and not be an advocate

So you want to be an advocate. You want to help others with a cause in some way. Most advocates on the internet are volunteers, using what they know to help others. Some actually have a good relationship with schools and law enforcement; others even have some legal pull. Whichever of these you want to be, you will have to consider a few things that I strongly advise. I advise this from personal experience and events I have personally witnessed. I hope this helps you. Consider it a ‘do’s and don’ts of advocacy. I’m going to speak from the advocacy of autism, but this really does go about the same for whatever cause you support.

First of all, if you want to be an advocate with legal backing of any kind, make sure you get the education and any proper licenses you need. Take classes and obtain a degree. Don’t go out and make wild claims to puff yourself up, like claiming to be a DC Lobbyist. Things like this (all DC Lobbyists are accounted for and fully listed for the public) are easily found out and will hurt your standing as a trustworthy advocate. Be able and willing to show your credentials if you claim to be a legal advocate. The sad truth is that some people out there just want your money or to be seen as something important. They are willing to use others to achieve this. Don’t be one of them. Advocates like this can do way more harm than good.

Educate yourself on your cause as much as you can and always be ready to update that education as terms and issues change. Research, research, research, learn how to do research. The more you educate yourself, the more help you can be to others.
Aside from your working knowledge, you need to protect your image. A lot of internet advocates don’t do this. Your image is how people see you and worse, how they may choose to portray you. I can tell you that autism is as bad as politics when it comes to advocate mudslinging. There are advocates out there who see this as a competition for who you should go to. Don’t get involved in that. Let me tell you a little story, (some of you long time readers may know it already).

In late 2009, a young man with autism was restrained in his school and struggled to get free. He was charged with felony assault and the family was in turmoil. The boy’s grandmother came to the internet seeking any help she could. Advocates came together and put up a “chip in” to raise money for legal fees. During this time (into 2010) the Grandmother stated she was being harassed and investigated by a group of other “people” on the internet. I stepped in and tried to get them to stop. I tried to be Mr. Internet Hero and let me tell you something. Pay close attention to these words.

It blew up in my face. Do NOT do this.

All I did was make myself a target. I thought I should warn the autism community about my experience and that was the wrong thing to do to. I had my past dug into and slathered on the internet (20 years into my past). There was a case where I filed a suit against and an employer. Naturally they made several accusations against me to protect themselves. Those digging, took those accusations and posted them on the internet for all to see. Accusations that are not an accurate reflection of who I am were posted and they were damaging. I’ve been fortunate to have readers who know me and were able to see how much hostility were in the postings. Since then, to this day, I’ve been hounded, harassed, and even threatened. I’ve been accused of being some ringleader of white collar crime and had everyone who wants to put me in their own internet court room pop out of the woodwork. I’ve had some of the nastiest comments and postings you could ever think of posted at or about me. It’s not pretty, not nice, mature or ethical. All because I thought I was standing up for someone else.

If you want to stand up for someone’s rights, do it with the people who matter to those rights. Tell your client to block all attackers, that’s what the block button is for. And then block them yourself. Do not confront, you have no idea what kind of mentalities you will be dealing with and they will attack your image and anything else they can.

I have found that my advocacy is best done as simply giving out the information that may help others. I give advice where I can and will no longer ever engage in trying to “protect someone” on the internet. I can’t. I will give advice on what to do. Block them, ignore them, and keep up on what’s important. There are many internet advocates who go out and pull the “rallying” card to get people to shut so and so down, etc. It’s not worth it. All you’ll do is make yourself a target. Put the time into actually helping others, a far more rewarding issue. I’ve gone so far as to remove all mentions of negativity and other “advocates” or attackers from my blog for sake of being a more positive place for others. The same cannot be said for my pursuers. So learn something from my mistake, okay? Avoid the dramas the best you can.

So, hopefully, this gives you some ideas on what you should and shouldn’t do to be an advocate. Remember there are several types of advocates, research them to see what you can do best.

Still an advocate

Advocate: Webster's Dictionary: One who speaks or writes in support of a cause.

If you've been following my blog then you will know that I both speak and write (especially write) in support of autism education. To me that is a worthy cause to write about. I'm sure we can all agree on that.

Now it's true that I am pursuing a great goal in my life in my writing and illustration of my fantasy universe, Galaxy Zento. Even so, I remain an advocate. I still write and speak in support of a cause. I volunteer my efforts to help others understand. I have even incorporated this cause and others I support into Galaxy Zento.

I may only get a good post on here once a week, but that doesn't mean I'm turning my back on the autism community. I will always support autism education. I have already made steps toward this. Granted, I'm not making money at this, but I'm building something. I'm building something positive and good.

I would think that stands as an example of what people can do. So, I'm still an advocate and my blog still stands. Anyone can peruse through the entries or google me and find my work any time they like. They can share it with anyone it may be of help to. I love sharing! So long as credit is given where it is due.

As for me being a cartoonist... THANK YOU! It's so nice to be recognized for my talents. Of course, cartoonists are much better at drawing the same thing a hundred times over for motion than me. I'm really just a humble illustrator/artist.

Asperger's and Child frustration

I was going to make this blog about sensory issues and getting school supplies, but something happened. It's going to have to wait for next time.

My son is showing me that he can be sneaky, but that's not the issue either. It did lead to what happened.

Last night, my son told me he felt tired and wanted to go to bed early. That's not an unreasonable request. If he's not feeling well, he should get some rest. So I said "okay" and we did all the night time things you do before you go to bed. Then I tucked him in and that was that. Well, that's what I thought anyway.

An hour or so later, my son called frantically from his bedroom and I went to see what the issue was. As it turns out, he had slipped his Nintendo DS into bed with him and now it was broken. He gets limited time with video games to keep him from sinking into them and never coming out. This isn't the first time he's pulled the 'sneak it into bed' for extra play trick either. And who didn't sneak a comic book and flashlight into bed at some point in their childhood?

He broke the DS right at the hinge because he became angry with it. It ran out of power and turned off in the middle of his game. He got angry and in that moment of child frustration he must have wrenched it in his hands to break it.

The consequences for this are clear. He gets to tell his mother what he did (this was a Christmas gift from her) and he will have to use all his allowance to replace it. This will take a long time. The Ipod and DS were already banned from being in his bed from the last sneak episode. Now they are banned from his room altogether for supervision's sake.

Generally, the rule is this: if he breaks it in anger it doesn't get replaced. That's a fine rule for most toys. But now I find myself faced with the expensive ones that have a bit of investment. I also find myself worried for him. I worry about him learning to control the spontaneous rage that we can be afflicted with at a moment of frustration. I went through the same thing at his age. It has taken me into my adult life to learn how to control it. I don't want that for him.

This impulse behavior is not uncommon in our spectrum children. The only way to deal with it is with direct consequences and to point it out specifically to our kids. We have to teach them about that specific impulse and what it means. That is the only way, by making them specifically aware of it, that they may eventually learn to control or stop it.

Are you having a similar issue with your spectrum child? Feel free to post in comments. Your email is private and you will not be spammed.