This is an insult to combat veterans and the autism community

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a very real affliction and comes to us in many ways. People who suffer severe trauma or are in a traumatic situation constantly, are high risk for PTSD. I think just about everyone understands that this is a bad thing. Examples of people who have PTSD include, combat veterans, bullying and abuse victims, rape victims, and survivors of catastrophic events.

I respect the pain of any one person. What I don't respect is behavior like this:

On the face of it, it's innocent enough, but at the bottom line, it's faulty. It's inappropriate. It's ableist (hard to believe I'm using that word), and it's an insult to every actual combat veteran out there. It's also extremely selfish. It also completely ignores someone more important than Mom and Dad, namely the child who suffers more than anyone. I'm about to share why this is totally wrong. I'm going to share the comparisons just like I did with some parents who believe in it (because there is a whole facet of the autism community that uses this and it's wrong).

How to compare to the stress faced by a combat soldier: TRIGGER WARNING

1: Watch all your friends DIE violent, explosive, and bloody deaths including complete dismemberment.

2: Wear your buddy's brains around on your shirt because he got his head blown off right next to you.

3: Spend a day gathering your fellow soldiers body parts for identification.

4: Fear common trash piles for the rest of your life because they could be a roadside bomb.

5: Have a society suicide rate of 22 a day. Yes, 22 veterans take their lives every day according to statistics LINK    (I am currently unable to find a statistic on autism parents who kill themselves, but I can find about 2 or 3 cases of parents killing their kids in the last 4 years)

6: Have a homeless rate greater than 8% of the total homeless community. 

Now let me share the direct responses I had to this:

"My son has tried to choke me and his brothers pulled knives."  And yet you haven't had to live through 1, 2, or 3.

"While all situations are not comparable, the chemical reaction that goes on in the body is." Way to dismiss peoples actual experiences!

"My children are violent every day." Lots of people are violent every day and no one is diminishing that for you (except for you). None of those other people need someone else's suffering to get attention.

Important note: None of the people I spoke to was a combat veteran (yes I asked).

The missed the point entirely. Here's another way of looking at this:

AUTISM MOM'S SUFFER PTSD SIMILAR TO RAPE VICTIMS

Sounds fair to rape victims right? Or maybe this:

AUTISM MOMS SUFFER PTSD SIMILAR TO SURVIVORS OF THE JEWISH PRISON CAMPS OF WW2.  (Because you know, physical torture, gas chambers, and acute starvation are totally the same!)

Because we want people to think that our pain is held above anyone else's. They fail to understand that this diminishes the suffering of someone else and uses it inappropriately as a status booster for your own suffering. And the point stands that it is NOT similar at all. If you want to point out that autism parents suffer PTSD from their difficulties, that's fine. Let me retype that in larger print for those who just can't figure it out:

IF YOU WANT TO POST THAT AUTISM PARENTS SUFFER PTSD FROM THEIR DIFFICULTIES, THAT'S FINE. 

Don't use someone elses statistics to bolster your own. Never mind the fact that you make your children sound like the most broken and useless things in creation. And you probably think they can't notice what you think of them in that way. Have you ever thought about the fact that just maybe they can? How would you feel? 

I guess it would be okay for combat veterans and rape victims to start comparing themselves to autism parents, BUT THEY WON'T.

If you want to compare yourself to a combat veteran, go be one!

As for the rest. I will not support anyone who does this. It's a paramount of disrespect and the fact that you want to fight to keep it, says a lot about you.

Autism and stress

Question posed: What makes it so easy for people with autism to freak out?

On the surface, some may be offended at such a question. It's really a good opportunity to educate on what it can be like to live with autism or several other disorders that aren't plain to the naked eye. So, rather than get offended, I suggest sharing what stress levels are like for disorders of this kind.

First let's define stress in the psychological sense. First you may be interested to know that stress is a very subjective word and everyone has their own personal view of its definition. For the most part just about everyone understands that something irritating you is stressful and causes you "stress". There are positive and negative forms of stress as well. Everyone handles stress at least a little bit differently.

Another thing most people can agree on is that stress has its limits. You can only take so much of a "stressor" before you need to take a break. A good example of this is to think of exercise. Imagine picking up a five pound weight and bending your arm while lifting it. When you lift the weight you put stress on the muscles in your arm. The first time you lift it, may provide little stress. If you lift it a few more times, your arm may begin to get tired. The more you repeat the process of lifting and lowering the weight, the more difficult it becomes. This shows the limit of stress on those muscles. Eventually you will reach what is called "muscle failure" and you will have to put the weight down and let your arm rest.

In mental stress you deal with a similar style of limits, but different kinds of stressors. For example, think of your monthly bills. If you are having financial trouble or just on limited income, your monthly bills (electricity, phone, rent) may be a source of negative stress for you. Fear is another stressor, whether fear of losing your home, having your phone turned off. Fear may be of something real or imaginary.

One more thing that we can usually agree on is that, with enough stress applied, most things will break down in some fashion. That breakdown point is called a "stress limit". How many ways can you see stress limits in your day to day life?

Here's an idea; when you sit down to your next meal, pay attention to how you feel while you are eating. When you feel hungry, that is a stress. So, you eat your dinner and towards the end of it you start to feel full. Feeling full is a stress limit on your stomach. Whenever you breach a stress limit there is always a consequence. Overeating will make you feel bloated or sick, for example.

Now, lets consider another area of stressors. These are stressors that you face every day. They likely mean nothing to you at basic levels if you don't have a disorder. Environmental stressors, like odors, temperature, sounds, weather, traffic, and even other people bombard you every day. Your typical person learns to filter most of these out as they go about their daily routines. Even these stressors can be too much for you though. When you are tired and trying to sleep at night, you don't want to listen to your neighbors stereo rattling your windows.

So what are your stress limits? Well, consider your stress level through the day, like a weight scale. Take into account that all forms of stress add toward your personal limit. If you get enough rest and are of good health, you should start out your day with low stress and energy to move forward with. As you go through your day and handle work and various things that pop up in life, these will add in their own way. By the end of the day( which is different for everyone) you feel tired and need to rest for your next day. This can also change based on how much stress piles onto you in a short amount of time. That is the clincher.

With disorders like autism, PTSD, MS, Bipolar and various sensory issues, the limits to stress are not necessarily less. Instead, the senses and mental limits take on their full limit faster than with other people. In autism, the brain may not filter out all the stressors like typical person can do. Thanks to that, if you have autism, your stress limit in your senses may be maxed out before you even get your day started.

Having senses too high or low in sensitivity creates high demand on anyone. It makes your interactions and reaction with the world around you chaotic at best. That also creates frustration which adds to the stress and then you're even worse off than before. Then other people lose their patience with you (as you are likely also doing for yourself) and guess what? More stress! And, chill out doesn't work.

Improvement can be found in practice for some, but it depends entirely on the person and how strong their disorder is in them. Just like lifting that weight. If you do it every day or even just every other day, your ability will increase. You will be able to lift and lower more times before you have to stop. Some levels of our disorders will not allow for this. Take Multiple sclerosis for example. As a progressive condition, it takes away from what your body can tolerate or do. The practice may slow it down, but it it's strong enough, it will overcome your best efforts.

Because all stressors lend toward your full limit (yes some can be rested from in short periods), people with disorders reach lost limits much faster. Some are always at their full limit. If you were at your full limit on stress like that, you might find it easy to "freak" too.

Mike Corey, musician with a message

When Mike Corey put a link for his music on my facebook page, I must admit, I almost deleted it. I don't allow marketing for much on my page and try to filter out any spam that turns up. This is the internet after all, the kingdom of spam.

I didn't delete his link, though. Instead, I clicked on it and gave his first song a listen. It's called "My mind so broken" and it has a very clear message. You can check out this song HERE.

The song is very clear about what it can be like to live with a mental illness or disorder. So I strongly suggest giving it a listen.

It's clear that Mike has a passion for his music. He takes that passion and embroiders it into his songs to help educate about conditions that are on the rise in our country and the world.

Around August of 2010 Mike was diagnosed with Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, and a social anxiety disorder. He is a recovering alcoholic and addcit (from his facebook page). This brought him the clarity of what you hear in those songs. Mike has actually been writing music and has had his passion since he was 15. Currently he is working on putting a band together and plays regularly at a resource center in Rockford, IL.

Mike volunteers in the Stars of Light Troupe and does some acting as well as singing. If you click on the "here" link above, you can read about it to the right of the profile.

In talking with him in messages I asked him what message he would give to youth struggling with these problems today:

"Do not be afraid and do not judge the people who can truly help you, such as police officers, therapist, judges, case workers and so on. They may seem strange or even mean but it may only be because you are not use to how they are. They only want whats best for you."

People who live with disorders, yet manage to help others and strive to make positive forwards in their lives, are a beacon of hope. It doesn't matter what kind of disorder you live with, you can relate. From what I've seen, Mike definitely can.

So give his music a listen and add him on facebook, I think you'll be glad you did.