Researched: Autism and Puberty for Girls

Once in a while I get questions and I don't always have the answers. What that happens, I do research. When I do research, I bring you what I found.

In this case, I was asked about autism and puberty, specifically for girls. While I have three daughters, none of them live with me and I wasn't with them for this part of their lives. Hey, I live 14 hours away from the closest of them, okay? And I'm a DAD, not a Mom, so that really sets me aside on the matter. But I take it seriously when someone is looking for information, so this is what I found. From just these three links, I think you'll have the basics well in hand, plus some good tips.

How to help girls with autism through puberty is a blog post at Fourplusanangel.com by Jessica (last name unknown). Yes, that's a link up there^. It's a great starting point for no nonsense advice. It doesn't hit on the attitude dangers, but it's a pretty important starting point all the same READ IT.

THIS POST from musingsofanaspie.com is "What else autistic girls need to know about puberty". I found the section on hormones very informative. Heck, it's all informative. So read it next.

Finally, I bring you to Abilitypath.org with THIS. It's not as personable as the blog writers above but it's clinical advice seems applicable.

Still looking for info? If you are on Facebook and have lots of friends, there are several popular ladies with autism online and I'm sure any of them would be glad to lend advice on what they did or do to deal with puberty and it's pitfalls.

Hey, puberty at its base scale is enough to make you want a six month vacation on the moon. Just remember that this is no picnic for your kid either. I can only imagine what a nightmare it must be for girls. Cramps, bleeding, using pads; all lead to so much more than what boys have to handle. Just hope that your child has the easy going kind (if there is such a thing) and go from there.

What I get from all that I saw is this: EDUCATE, EDUCATE, EDUCATE. Teach your child early and often. Remind and reapply over and over again. Do your best to be patient and non-accusatory.

Finally, remember love and caring. Let them know that it will get better and they will eventually get used to dealing with this annoying aspect of life.

Good luck, parents!

Defiance and Respect in Autism Youth

This blog is dedicated to a question from Kimberly, who asked: "My teen who has Autism is overly dramatic and has a hard time with accepting no as an answer is this typical or is mine just out of control?"

First of all, it's likely a lot more typical than you realize. From age 9 where puberty starts kicking in, through the teen years, you are seeing a mixture of the autism and hormones. This can make your standard teen drama and angst look like a trip to Disneyland.

You can expect over-reactions to most things as well as snippy attitudes and excessive, "my parents don't know anything" attitude.

This is a LINK I posted on my Facebook profile recently. Scroll down and check out the advice given for a 9 year old (that's how old my son is too).

For a teen, I would suggest pretty much the same approach. Pick your battles. When given a consequence he's going to tell you off. Ignore it. Yes it's disrespectful, but the more you give it the time of day, the more you help create the power struggle. I've learned this the hard way. Since then, I've taken parenting classes at Boys Town (I think you can order their tapes, they were very helpful to me) and joined a parenting support group. Maybe there's one in your area?

Another thing to remember, is that our autism kids are delayed in emotional development significantly to a varied point of years. Add that to all those teen hormones and, well, you read what I said above.

Here are a couple other links with advice on dealing with autistic teens:

Conduct Disorders Website: Scroll down in the answers for what people had to say after you check out the lady's problems with her teen son.

Autisable website: An interesting blog article on parenting the autistic teen.

I like the idea of meeting an outburst with uncomfortable silence and a blank stare. My 9 year old has the tendency to tell me, just like the one teen boy, that I will not exercise what ever consequence I just informed him of. It happens anyway, without another word. If he throws a fit and breaks his toys, they are gone for good. Anything he throws that doesn't break is lost to him for several days. Currently it's 3 and that seems to annoy him down the line. He wants it eventually and I shake my head and tell him: "I can't give it to you because you threw it in a tantrum. You will get it back on Friday (or whatever day is 3 out)." This makes it appear a rule I also have to follow. It shows that rules are followed by everyone and actions have consequences.

Our kids need tons and tons of practice and there is no overnight solution. Just know that you are not alone in your struggles with your autistic teen.