Tickets bought for Denver to meet Stan Lee

This will be the greatest update ever. Not only did we surpass our goal, but we used that to go ahead and get his tickets for the convention, autograph, and photo for Stan Lee. All that's left to do is find a hotel room and reserve it.

I sold a big chunk of my HeroClix collection and added 200 bucks to the mix. With that I bought my wife's convention entry (because what was raised covered mine) and have 70 left over (estimated after hotel and gas) for food and a little fun at the con besides just standing in line to see Stan Lee.  So it does look like this will be a success.

Denver is still having a rocky time, but we are pulling all stops to make sure he gets the best help he can. Doctors, therapists, and a new school IEP are just the beginning.

The donation button will remain active until the week we go to the convention. So if anyone does want to chip in toward Denver's time at the convention you can. I have been given message that a couple of you fine people wanted to do that. Here is the LINK back to that blog post.

I am humbled and grateful beyond words for what you all have done for my son. Because of you, I will be able to give him one of those rare memories that can help shape a child forever.

You know, being a child with a disorder that affects how you interact with the world around you is not a cake walk. Growing up to be a functional adult is a major and tedious challenge. Issues like context, body language, and basic social skills get lost in a dizzying mix of sensory issues. Discipline issues are hard to understand without lots of practice and very clear information. You may be very intelligent, like my son, yet emotionally regressed or late in development. Not fun. Not a picnic. What's worse, you have a nagging sense that something is constantly wrong. I know I did as a child and my son has demonstrated that he gets the same feelings.

"Why can't I understand things right?"
"Why am I such a freak?"
"No one likes me."

All of those things come from social stumblings that cause confusion. Our kids have the challenge of learning past all that and becoming adults who can handle their conditions. To realize that seeing life from lateral views that break context can be a gift as much as a curse. Once you understand it and learn those extra social skills, it becomes a gift.

"Not only do I see what you are saying, but I see another route you may not have thought of."

That's an example of turning that lateral view into that gift. No, not everyone will be able to do that, but it's the best goal you can hope for. That's my opinion any way.

Having my son meet a man who proves this creative lateral way of being (along with being my son's celebrity hero), well, how do you do better than that for a real life example?

GenCon 2004 Child's costume winner!

So I thank you good people, I thank you all. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for praying. Thank you for donating. Thank you for just hoping. May you all be blessed.

A Question for you fearless parents out there on Autism in school

Today we are discussing my son's grades and I would like you fearless parents to chime in and tell me what you think! Pass this around and share it. The more input the better.

As many of you know, my son was recently in the hospital for a week because of suffering psychosis that made him hallucinate and hurt himself. It made him rage at everyone around him and I say "suffering" because I mean it. He also hated himself for it. He blamed himself for it. He didn't understand what was happening to him.

Now there's still plenty he know he could have accomplished if he put himself to it, but it was random when he did.

All that being said, we have rules about bringing home an F. There still must be consequences for consistency. The main area of consequence that seems to hit home is losing his DS, and computer games. He is obsessed with his DS to the point that he incorporates video game play into everything he does. A common autistic trait, actually. And he doesn't go completely out of control without his DS. At this point he seems to want to do what's right to earn it back.

Here are his grades:

Conduct: F
Reading: B
English: F (this is the class where most of his rage seems to come out but is slowing down now)
Spelling: B
Writing: Unsatisfactory (not because of difficulties but raging and refusing to even try)
Math: D
Social Studies: A
Science: C

We know he can do this.

So here's the rub.

The current vote is that he loses his DS until his next report card. He has to show us that his grades are improving and are no longer Fs or Ds. That's 6 weeks. I wouldn't have too much problem with that if it weren't for the fact that he had to be hospitalized.

So I have two counter ideas and want honest input (no put downs please!):

A: Cut the punishment down to 2 weeks flat.

B: Use his conduct grade. We get review of his conduct grade once a week. I could hold back his DS until his conduct grade shows up at least a B. That alone could take three weeks, but would give him something shorter term to aim at.

I have nothing against disciplining my child, I just don't want to use a wrecking ball to drive a nail. I will also say that it is easier said than done. So what are your thoughts my friends? Please chime in and share!

An open message to Stan Lee

Dear Sir,

You know heroes better than anyone in the business, but you don't know this one and I would really like you to.

Denver Justice Wilde was named after the best man and brother I ever knew who was tragically murdered in 1991. So, right from this little man's name, you know he's something special.

DJW was born 3 months premature, and still came out with full lungs and screaming to life. From the very start he was overcoming hurdles. He also had mild hydrocephalus that he grew out of on his own.

As a toddler he developed fits that could not be calmed and started hitting his head nonstop. We didn't know what we were dealing with then but it troubled him. He even asked me one day when I was intervening on one of his episodes, tearfully; "Daddy, why can't I stop?"  He had to wear a helmet for a year while we got meds adjusted to help him stop hurting himself.

At 3 years old he was diagnosed with autism.

At 3 years old he was also making up his own superheroes. There were two of them; Skunk Boy and Diamond Crystal Robot. He even made his own Halloween costume for Diamond Crystal Robot out of cardboard and later out of other costume pieces.

Also from 3 years on up, he developed an uncanny ability to build things out of cardboard. He would make entire cities from cardboard boxes and other pieces he scavenged from us. He had no fear of going up to some clerk in a shop to ask if they had any cardboard boxes for him.

Not uncommon in autism, he didn't potty train until he was 5 and attending Kindergarten. For all our efforts, he finally just overcame his fears on his own. Another hurdle beaten.

He proved he could be in a mainstream classroom too, after we moved from Lincoln NE. to Sheboygan, WI.

In 1st grade his teacher told me that he couldn't learn the material. By the end of the year he proved her wrong.

At the end of  2nd grade he did similar though his teacher already knew there were special things going on with Denver. By the end of the year he taught them something new.

Not long after we moved to Sheboygan, Denver had a lesson in death. His name was Zach and we considered him family. He was killed in a car accident at 19 years old.

Also, before he went into 2nd grade, he went through the divorce of his parents. During his 2nd grade year his Grandmother died on his Mothers side of the family and then his Grandfather died on my side of the family.

It took a lot of support and we (myself, his dr and school staff) were ready to support him. He always seemed to bounce back. For such a little guy, he's been through a lot.

In 4th grade he did so well that he earned an award for keeping a B average through the year. He was also invited to the school spelling bee for being amongst the top three spellers in his class and the top ten for his whole grade.

Now, he's going through a hard time. He's unhappy with himself and we are scrambling and struggling to help him. He gets angry, then he gets angry with himself for his own mistakes. He's hurt himself and had to be in the hospital to readjust his medication. He's still struggling and down on himself. We're applying everything we know and can research in techniques to help him. This can happen when a child is trying to learn how to cope with mental disorders. He feels like a freak (his own words) and we know  he's not.

Now there's an opportunity, a very rare opportunity. In November it may just be possible to have him meet one of his celebrity heroes. Hist topmost celebrity hero next to Matt Smith from Doctor Who. He could meet you at the New Orleans Comicon, just a few hours drive from here in Monroe. If I could get him to meet you, I know it could be the morale boost of a lifetime for this 10 year old.

If I could get him to meet you, get a photograph and maybe a signed book to frame and put on his wall. He would have the memory of a lifetime. I could show him that awesome things can and will happen if you put your mind to them.

And I also want to say that this is totally about him. I'm not coming to pitch my universe, artwork or writing. I'm coming for my son. Nothing else. If all I can do is maybe get you to shake his hand, I know what the impact could be. It could alter his course or at least really help with that.

And I'm willing to lean on my cane (the docs think I have MS) and stand in that line just like everyone else. But you are more than welcome to step out of your way if you want to. But I'm not asking you too. I just want you to know him. I hope that when you see his little face, you might remember him. Because having you say "Hi Denver" as he walks up would really, really blow him away!

My son doesn't know that I'm setting aside dignity to ask for donations for the trip on the internet. He doesn't know that I'm selling a chunk of my collection of HeroClix on Ebay for this specific cause (but he does know I'm selling). He doesn't know how much I'm putting into this.

Some said I should tell you why this would be beneficial to you. My answer to that is a question. When would helping a child (event with just a handshake) not be beneficial to anyone?

So maybe, if you see this, you'll know my little hero and the challenges he faces. I truly hope so.

I have great respect for you in even reading this. I do hope that we will make it. Thank you for your time and hope that all things are going well for you.

Sincerely,
David J Wilde

Send this autistic 10 year old to meet Stan Lee

Happy with just cardboard

UPDATE: THE AMOUNT HAS BEEN COLLECTED! READ UPDATE BELOW FOR MORE INFORMATION!

At this point the project is still on: Stan Lee is still scheduled for New Orleans.

I know, I was going to start posting the memoirs but something far far more important has surfaced.  I'm hoping that some of you out there are willing to do something to help out.

Many of you who read my work regularly, know that my son and I have a high functioning form of autism.  Though I went through life undiagnosed and through chaos, I'm doing all I can to make sure that my son doesn't have the same hard time.

So far that has been fairly successful. He has a great team of teachers and doctors, but he's had a hard time lately. Big changes have hit his life and he's struggling with them. It is now believed that he has to learn how to control child bipolar on top of autism. Yes, it is more than possible to have both.

Note the arches!

Now he internalizes his struggles and gets angry with himself. He puts himself down, slaps and hits himself and we are scurrying to check med changes and help him any way we can. He has been on the gluten free diet for over a month now. He hates it however because he can't have what his friends get in their school lunches. This 10 year old boy, at such a crucial time in his life, needs a morale boost. It's one thing to tell him about the successes of others out there, but if he could meet his hero, Stan Lee, I think it might just set him on a much better track. He would see that good things do happen. He would see that he is worthy of those things. That's not to say we don't tell him he's worthy every day, because we do.

Stan Lee's name gets real excitement out of my son. For a school project in 3rd grade, he played the part of Stan Lee for his class's "living wax museum". In this he would stand in front of his desk and people would come and poke his shoulder. Then he would recite some of Stan Lee's biography. He hates being poked, people.  But he did it for Stan Lee.

Now we live in Monroe, Louisiana and Stan Lee is going to be at the New Orleans Comicon in November. That creates a once in a lifetime chance to take my son to meet his favorite celebrity Stan Lee right here in the same state we live in. But we need help to make it happen.

I also know that Stan Lee loves to help out young artists. He could to that in this case with a handshake and my kiddo is a very talented little visionary. See that picture up above? He was in 2nd grade when he did that with just cardboard. He still builds things out of his room that are mind boggling. Stan Lee knows heroes better than anyone. Well, this is about my little hero!

Just to show that I'm willing to make my own sacrifices I'm doing auctions  now too like THIS.

So how can you help?   You could start here:

DONATION BUTTON REMOVED: AMOUNT NEEDED HAS BEEN COLLECTED, THANK YOU ALL FOR THIS INCREDIBLE BLESSING!

Or you can order artwork from my Cafepress store or my DeviantArt page. We won't get much from the sales but every little bit will help and you'll have something nice to show for it.

This is totally for my son. If you have any questions, please feel free to email them to thewildeman2@yahoo.com.    Bless you for even considering aiding this project. I don't know how else to show he really is deserving.   OOPS... here is the cost breakdown of making this work. The target number we are trying to hit is 435.00.   Yep, just 435. Well, it's not such a small amount when you see the breakdown. That cost covers the following:

Convention tickets for Denver and one adult (can't send a 10 year old autistic in by himself after all) and that's tickets at the door. Not ordered ahead of time. So 140 dollars.

Gas estimated at 80 dollars.

Hotel stay of 180 dollars.

And with Stan Lee.... his autograph is 55 dollars and a photo with him is 80 dollars.

So what we are asking help with only covers getting kiddo that autograph and photo... it gets one adult and him through the door and into line. If either of us adults wants more that is our responsibility.

Now if you want to send him to the con with anything extra for his own use, you may specify and arrangements are completely open.  If we can just cover that 435, it would be a massive door opener and get him to meet his hero.   You can visit the New Orleans Comicon website HERE.

A lot more on why he's worthy HERE.

VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE As of 9-20-2012! Please read!:  Today we took Denver to the hospital program. The average staying time for the program is 7-10 days. That's really awesome news and I hope that's how this lands. The offer quite a bit out out patient programs as well and I think we will want to be involved in those. So the project can totally go forward. There's even more reason now than ever. When we are in that line and I get him to meet Stan Lee, I intend to tell Denver to remember it because awesome things can and do happen. END UPDATE

UPDATE: 10 dollar donation received 9-3-2012
UPDATE: 55 received 9-4-12 THANK YOU BOTH!!
UPDATE:  A very cool person shared this to Stan Lee's Facebook page. Very cool, you know who you are and we thank you!
UPDATE: 7.77 donation received 9-11-12 THANK YOU!
UPDATE:  9.89 donation received 9-12-12 THANK YOU!
UPDATE:  25.00 donation received 9-12-12 THANK YOU!
UPDATE: 9.12 donation received 9-13-12 THANK YOU!
UPDATE:   9-14-12... another awesome person has contacted me and made many awesome suggestions as well as (this person) is actually going to bat and contacting people of the Convention itself. You know who you are and we thank you! We're blown away.
UPDATE: 10 dollar donation received 9-14-12 THANK YOU!
UPDATE:   25 dollar donation received 9-17-12 THANK YOU!
UPDATE:  25 dollar donation received 9-20-12 THANK YOU!
UPDATE:    5 dollar donation received 9-24-12 THANK YOU!
UPDATE:    5 dollar donation received  9-28-12 THANK YOU!
UPDATE:   25 dollar donation received 9-29-12 THANK YOU!
UPDATE:      75 dollar donation received  THANK YOU!!!!
UPDATE:   20 dollar donation received THANK YOU!!
UPDATE: 2 more donations in so THANK YOU! and that's as of 10-4-12
UPDATE: Another donation received from a person who's really going to bat so GREAT BIG THANKS, you know who you are! That 5% charge from Paypal is vexing but please don't worry about it. This is going very well!
UPDATE: A new donation breaks the 300 mark!
UPDATE! THE ENTIRE AMOUNT HAS NOW BEEN COLLECTED!!!! THANK YOU ALL YOU WONDERFUL AND SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE OUT THERE! I'M ETERNALLY GRATEFUL!  THERE WILL BE PHOTOS AND ALL SORTS OF AWESOMENESS!!! THE DONATION BUTTON WILL REMAIN OPEN UNTIL THE WEEK BEFORE WE LEAVE. IF YOU WANT TO CONTRIBUTE JUST TO HIS TIME AT THE CON YOU MAY.

After "Raised in Hell"

A lot of people have seen my first book that has gone to thousands of families for free. The book leaves off at a point where I get on a Greyhound bus in Barstow, California headed for Salt Lake City.

What's the big idea about that? The premise of the book is my growing up undiagnosed (autism and bi-polar disorder) through a chaotic childhood. It was my experiences growing up in an age and location where they just weren't diagnosing my age group for those things. Even though they sent me to a hospital at age 12/13, my diagnosis remained "guarded" for the full scale of it.

In Raised in Hell, I survived a chaotic life that involved:

-living in foster homes (some abusive) during my parents divorce (approx age 4)

-living with an abusive (drunk and drugged) step parent until I ran away from home at 14 (started age 6)

-having self abusive seizure like episodes that I am now medicated for (from age 6 on)

-surviving violent bullying from grade 5 until I left home at age 14 (due to moving this involved several different schools)

-never understanding myself as a person

If you want to catch up before I go on, you can download my book here for free:  LINK

Just scroll down the page until you see the title and the word "download". It is SAFE. You will get a simple PDF.

From this edition forward, my blog will take you into the memoirs of what happened after I got on that bus and headed to Salt Lake City, where I believed I was going to be picked up by an adult who knew me. Well, I can tell you I wasn't picked up by anyone when I got off that bus, but that's for next time.

So I hope you will follow along in the continuation of my story as I moved into a stage of life where I had to learn to fend for myself.  That would be from late age 16 into my adult years, still unaware of my medical conditions and still misjudged for them. Still a shining example of why diagnosis, care and support are important. Remember, I wasn't diagnosed until around 2005-2006 after my son was diagnosed at age 3.

Until then, support each over and be good to yourselves.

Autism designs for you

As many of you know, I have a Cafe Press page and I mostly do my characters and fantasy artwork on it. I also do anti-bullying and autism awareness pieces. Well, I've done one anti-bullying piece and now three autism awareness pieces, but there will be more. There will be more especially for the autism pieces.

I'm not doing them to collect donations, they are just for you to enjoy for your own purpose of raising autism awareness. For these designs you can get everything from T-shirts to keychains. From mouse pads, to greeting cards.

As for the T-shirts, I bought one myself of my top hero, King Falcon. It's a well made shirt and best washed and then lightly tumbled dry or air dried (hang it up). Anyway, let me introduce you to my autism art pieces and I hope you'll consider them for your use in autism awareness.  I can also make a design for you to take to a screenprinter yourself for 30 dollars.  Not to worry, you can get some very good design out of me for that. I can also design your tattoo for the same amount.

Autism Heart

Autism Heart:  This is a small piece I made with an older digital program. It doesn't increase in size well, so I only put it on things that work well with small images. This makes a great keychain, and comes in pocket size on T-shirts. While this image isn't on a lot of stuff it works exceptional on Cafe Press's little stuffed animals. Take a look!

Autism Strong

Autism Strong: Available on a few more items than the first heart, this piece sends a clear message that we can be strong. You can even get this on a keychain or waterbottle. I only selected a few shirts, so if you want a style and don't see it, let me know and I'll make changes so you can get it!

Autism Heart and Key

Autism Heart and Key: This object comes on the most stuff yet as it's got the best resolution of any autism piece I've made yet too! You have to browse this one to believe it! You can even get this one for your electronics like ipads and ipods, whatever you've got! Nook and Kindle sleeves too! It's a simple design so it works on nearly everything.

If you want to see all the pictures available here is the link for the store front of Galaxy Zento on Cafe Press.

I hope you enjoy your tour and will consider my designs for your awareness efforts. Thanks for all your support!

Handling phobias and fear in autism

Giant Cicada Killer wasp: Harmless to humans

This morning I checked my messages to find a question from Jill on Autism and Phobias that read:

I also came across your posting after googling autism phobias. My son recently developed a debilitating fear of bees and dragonflies. I'd be interested to hear what you were able to do to help your child deal with his flying bug phobia. Right now we are not able to spend time outside. As soon as he sees a flying insect he starts screaming uncontrollably. Thank you for sharing your experience with this!


Well, Jill, this post is for your and anyone else wondering that same question.


The ultimate answer to a phobia is intensive therapy, but there are steps to take before going that route.


The first steps I like to take, and they seem to help, is education. My 10 year old son is also afraid of just about any flying insect that he can see. He worries that they all are bees or specifically the Mahogany wasps we have in this area. 


I think the first thing that gets them is that these are speeding objects that are hard to identify and can't be controlled. This sets off a sensory and startle reaction. Once that happens it's a chain reaction the rest of the way and hard to reverse. He will need a great deal of reassurance and comforting. Reassurance that these insects aren't looking for him. And that's where education of these things comes in.

Green Dragonfly: Harmless to humans

There are children's level books on just about every bug you can think of at any library. Get your hands on some and let your child know you would like to teach him with some pictures about the bugs in your own backyard or at the park. If there's resistance, get him to agree that pictures can't hurt and then start teaching him about them. 


Next step, check Toys R Us for bug toys that he can handle and touch. He may balk but show him that it's just rubber and not real. With things like dragonflies it's safer than with things you don't want him to touch, like spiders. 


Make it a game. See how many bugs he can identify as they fly around and tell you about them.


Through is all, it will take time, constant reassurance, patience, support and a loving attitude. With enough of that, he can start to grow out of his fears. 


Similar steps can be used for fear of sounds, like thunder. Teach about it, make it a game, and use lots of hugging and supporting. And he will want to retreat, the first odd number of times, it will be hard to get him to do it. You must not give up. Our kids take a very long time to make changes. If in doubt and absolutely unsure, consult a specialist.