How Multiple Sclerosis affects my artwork

Recently a very cool friend of mine received the honor of an article in the Daily Light paper about how MS affected his music and ability to play. You can check it out HERE. I am so proud of my friend, Chris and all he's accomplished on explaining MS to people and raising awareness. It's an inspiration to me.

Now I'd like to share an online quote directed at me some time back.

"I don't think your condition is an excuse for bad artwork."

As many of you know, I'm the creator/writer/artist for my own universe of characters called, Galaxy Zento. To suggest my artwork is perfect would be a lie. I'm not perfect and I do my best with what I have left. The person who made that comment had no idea what they were talking about. So let me explain what it takes for an artist to put out awesome artwork.

Knowledge of form, good hand eye coordination and cognitive ability to transfer and translate from mind to paper. Seems simple right? Now lets look at that MS does to a person.

It destroys your freaking nerves. So hand coordination is shaky at best. If you look close enough at my work, you will notice that all my lines are wavy. All of them. Circle? Wavy circle. Oval? Wavy oval. Arms? Musculature? All with little waves everywhere. I can correct some on digital but even there I have to do what my messed up system allows if I ever want anyone to see it (this year).

Cognitive function is a mess. It's like trying to strain your thoughts through a colander or sifting mechanism and then make sense of the resulting mess. What I try to see in my mind and translate, is a fog. So I'm literally making up details as I go. Sometimes I can see it in my head really well. Other times, I can't see my character's faces. Try to figure THAT out. I get basic forms and basic shapes, then I have to muddle my through to make them work.

Now I tell myself that I simply have to own my own style and never give up. But it's not always that easy. There's so much of the story to tell and I don't know how much time I have to tell it. I'm racing against a clock of unknown time. It's headed for a point that I won't be able to draw a stick figure.

If you follow the link about and go through the albums, you can see differences in the pictures that show days that my poor head wasn't quite up to the job at hand. Sometimes I come up with good looking stuff, sometimes I don't and I have a lot of  trouble fixing it.

"Just find an artist." I do have someone on board, but please don't say this to me. I don't have up front funds and it dismisses the fact that this is a huge piece of myself that's fading decades before it should.

So, as you view the artwork of Galaxy Zento, know that every success is dedicated to others like myself (especially youth). Someday, I may have artists who put in because they believe in my reasons and can fall in love with the characters, but until then (and even after) I will continue this fight.

Why you should read Chessmen: Opening Moves

Hey, it's shameless self promotion time! But have no fear, I plan to make points of significant interest. So give me a chance here and have a good time.

It's a fair question. Why should you read Chessmen? You aren't interested in Chess anyway. Well, fortunately, it's not actually about chess. Click on the opening image to see what the back of the book has to say. Now I'll give you some supporting points on why you'll find this cast of heroes very interesting. The Chessmen are the Royal Guard of the planet, Chyssia. Imagine if Chess actually came from another planet and you'll immediately get the idea behind this amazing world. There are 8 members of the Chessmen (technically 9) and that brings us to our first point because:

In order for the most powerful member to appear, one of them has to die.  How's that for an opening point? And how does that work out? You'll have to read the book to know because telling would be a huge spoiler!

One of them could kill an entire planet. He's sealed in a containment suit of armor that can never be taken off; because he's a virus. Again, to see how that works out, you have to read it. I promise you he's one heck of a character. How does someone like that wind up being part of any Royal Guard?

Faith really can  move mountains.  One of them has a power you don't see in stories very much. It's the power of pure faith. You won't believe what he can do with it.

The comical doofus is one of the strongest members. You'll enjoy his amazing power and hilarious behavior.

The accused will earn your sympathy in spades. The member accused of actually killing the King, is permanently bonded to bladed gauntlets. He doesn't remember why he has them. For that matter, he's not even from Chyssia. He was found in the mountains with a severe head injury. Just what is his story?

A mystical falcon is in love with her partner. But how can such a creature pursue love with a humanoid?

It goes beyond just clearing their name. They discover that they have to save their entire solar system and the first book is only the beginning.

How can you read this?  Check out my author page and bookmark it   LINK

You can also keep up with all of the Galaxy Zento universe at my FACEBOOK page.

You can get it for Kindle cheap and paperback the same way. So I do hope you'll check out my universe and give Chessmen a read. I think you'll be glad you did.

Setting an example for our autism youth

My desk area for Galaxy Zento

You might remember, a couple blog posts back, where I wrote to you all about my Galaxy Zento project and what you could do to help with the setting of that example. Well, you worked wonders, my friends and tripled the number of people I was reaching. That's not a million people or anything, but it was a record and I'm grateful. The record? 676 people reached. That's more than 5x the number of LIKES on the page. Thank you!

So today I want to share more about my experience growing up and my son's experience in comparison with autism. I want my experiences to give hope to families struggling with understanding their kids and hope to kids who aren't sure where their lives are going.

This is NOT to say that I have the final answers to anything in autism. It's not meant to give false hopes to anyone. But if you have no hope to draw on at all, where does that leave you?

When I was growing up I was considered to be one effed up kid and that's just the language that got used. During the divorce of my parents I vanished into a fantasy world tried to get others to believe that I had bionics like the Six Million Dollar Man. Today, my son is trying very hard to convince us that he's a star in outer space with super powers. The fantasy is still there.

My son and I collect together

I developed rituals before I was ten of doing things in even numbers. I had to turn lightswitches off or on twice, zip zippers twice, turn objects twice and so on. I felt severely compelled to do this and I don't remember thinking there would be anything but bad luck if I didn't.  I developed a stim of clearing my throat, just like my son does today. I had other stims too and sensory issues. I liked the feeling of some fabrics under my fingernails and cool surfaces were calming to me.

I developed trouble in school early. In my last article I explained that my son has gone through a spot of bad behavior, stealing back his DS when grounded and sneaking out of the house at night through a window with a six foot drop. Well. When I was 8 or 9, I was told to stay after school. I knew I would be in trouble at home if I were late and I told the teacher my father needed to be called. She said it was my problem. I asked to go to the bathroom. She let me and I snuck out of school and ran home. I destroyed letters I was supposed to deliver to my father from the teachers before that (only two days before) and had to stay after again. This time she said I was NOT going to the bathroom. However she left the room,  summoned by the principal and I was gone.

When the phone call came, I got the most horrifying belt beating you can imagine and sentenced to my bed for thirty days. I was to come home, do my homework on my bed, eat dinner on my bed and I could only leave my bed to go to school or the bathroom. I could have one stuffed toy. My father let me out of that punishment after a week. He didn't think I could handle the whole thing, but I never, ever did that again. I won't punish my son like that, but he is in a lot of trouble right now. The difference is I have a team of people to work with him and explain things and teach him. All the while he still gets disciplined. The point is, I had my behavior rough spots too. I had my ticks, my stims, and all the things I see in him today.

By the time I reached 6th grade, I had very few friends (there were 3 of us) and two of us were bully magnets. Before I went to Jr High (a total freaking nightmare) I was playing with kids 5 years younger than me. Just like my son prefers to play with kids either way younger or almost adults (sound familiar?). I didn't understand kids my age at all. It was a concern but not addressed very well, so continued. Those were the times. Now I'm hoping to keep him from being bullied like I was.

A painting I did for autism

Despite my life and all I went through, despite not having support for autism as kid; despite running away from home at 14; despite my random life that I will be sharing here soon; despite the fact that my medical health has gained deteriorating factors, I am still doing things. I still became a parent of four kids, I still have a part in their lives, I still held jobs, and now I'm still striving to do something, anything. I want kids with autism (who are unsure of their lives) and kids with bipolar or who are being bullied, to know that they can do something too. That is what Galaxy Zento stands as an example of.

You can do this too. You can take the accomplishments of your life and show them to your kids. Show them that it's not over until it's over and life has possibilities for them. Show them other people who do amazing things despite disability. It's not about being gainfully employed either, it's just about doing something that you can be good at. And that's a great start!

So thank you for sharing Galaxy Zento. I hope more of you will continue to "like" and follow the page. And when the first novel (The Chessmen) gets published, you'll hear about it first. Thank you!

To all my Autism Friends and Family

Just because you have autism or a debilitating disorder, doesn't mean you can't leave your mark on this world.

I plan to be a living example of what I just wrote above this line and I'm asking for your support in doing so. NOT monetary support, so just put that out of your mind. I'm asking for moral support in another fashion that won't cost you a thing. I'm asking for a show of numbers. Let me explain.

As some of you know, I have moved on to another project called Galaxy Zento. It is my universe of heroes, villains, fantasy and sci fi and has it's own blog (linked to the name). This universe is how I survived some of my childhood.  I want you to remember that this is the work of a man with increasing health difficulties, disability (autism, brain injury and possibly MS or related). On top of that I want you to remember that this is a man not giving up. So let my example be your example. I want to share that with you.

You are the best of readers and I have enjoyed your support in my autism writings since I started in around 2008. The works of this blog will remain online until the internet ceases to exist (or blogspot does and I hope that never happens). We have shared so much in the world of autism. We've laughed and cried and my work has actually helped a few people here and there. I do hope it helped way more than that. So here is how you can help me with my project.

1: If you have been a "follower" of this blog, please do so on the Galaxy Zento blog too. Even if you never go back to it, it shows support. I really hope you do come back and enjoy the stories I'm writing there, but just the fact that followers show is wonderful and I will be grateful to you for that.

2: Share it! If you like what you read or know someone who likes to read online, share my work where ever you want to! So long as there is a link and I'm posted as the owner, you can even print and share (not sell).  Share anywhere you like and go, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, Stumbleupon, whatever!

3: Comment! I would very much enjoy to see comments from anyone. You can post anonymously or sign in and your email will not be spammed (I've checked on that with Blogspot). I will not use your email for anything at all. I would just love to get the interaction. The items above are more important, but this would be very cool to see.

4: If you are on Facebook, come to the Galaxy Zento fan page and click LIKE. That will also NOT spam you and shows your support. Feel free to browse the more than 200 illustrations I have drawn so far (and more to come before I lose any more use of my hands). I hope you will visit there often too. The more "likes" the better. Naturally, as above, comments and all sorts of picture likes are very welcome!  And again, share the same way if you would. On the fanpage there will be updates to all sorts of things Galaxy Zento, that includes the book work and more art.

Now, if you want to, and you see something of my art that you really really like or want to show off Galaxy Zento in other ways, that's where you could make purchases if you want to. I do NOT expect you to. But it is available and I have done Autism art as well. The autism art and T-shirts are available on my CafePress page. Kids sizes are there too. If you want a mug or mouse pad compare prices with my DeviantArt page before you buy. I don't get much out of any sales. I get 2 bucks if you buy a mousepad at DeviantArt for example. But you could get something to show off and enjoy.

Sorry, no T-shirts on DeviantArt.  I will take Autism art requests and make them available!

 My stance will always be for autism education. Want to know who I think you should donate to on autism?   Easter Seals and your local Autism Society chapter, that's who.  If you are in another country and have a group that's helping your community (that's legally recognized and legitimate for taking donations) go with them.

So, what I'm asking to recap is for follows and likes on the blog and facebook and sharing. Commets and interaction would also be nice. So there you have it. I will be passing this around to my friends of autism on facebook and email and I hope you will consider it. Let my example be yours. And know that no one with autism is alone. You are not alone. Thanks and I hope you enjoy what you see!

Overcome: Never give up

I find myself having to keep this cane of mine closer to me lately. Apparently, my sense of balance and the nerves in my knees conspire to throw me on the ground more often now. I'm trying some new medication for the trembling to steady my hands and help me get more sleep at night, but we still don't  know what this progressing condition is that I have in my collection of "conditions".

I especially want to keep my hands as useful as possible for as long as possible for sake of my current mission. As many of you know know (who follow along), I am growing the project of my fantasy universe, Galaxy Zento as a symbol of many things.

It is a symbol of overcoming, of "doing" in spite of conditions, of functioning with these medical conditions. It is about functioning in spite of Autism, Traumatic Brain Injury, and whatever the other thing is (next MRI will of full spine).  It's about abolishing the stygma and myths that come with all of them as well.

So far, I have written two novels on my project with one under agency consideration as we speak. I have drawn, circulated and donated an anti bullying poster to my son's elementary school. I have drawn and circulated an autism awareness poster with another of my heroes as well. I won honorable mention from Writer's Journal for a short story of one of my characters. I have drawn, inked, and computer colored over 200 illustrations. I've put together about 100 custom miniatures of my characters too. I'm still writing and working on showcases for the GZ blog. And I'm still not stopping.

I'm doing this to show my son what you can accomplish, despite what may or may not be "wrong" with you. My son, like me, has autism. I'm doing this to show anyone who has doubts about themselves for the exact same reasons, just what you can accomplish.

Yes, I walk with a cane (a four pod cane no doubt), yes I am disabled, yes I have to take daily naps because I run out of energy fast...... but I'm still ticking.  I'm still going and I don't intend to stop.

Galaxy Zento, is an example and I always want it to shine that way, no matter where it ultimately lands. The fact is, what matters is, that I never give up.

You can do what you want to do or find something new. And I'm not talking about getting a job when you are disabled. I'm talking about, your personal worth. You are worth something. You must never give up.

Guest artists and Autism!

As some of you know, I have launched and started building on my project called Galaxy Zento. In that project, guest artists are invited to come and draw their renditions of my characters. Special considerations are given to work that showcase connections to autism, anti-bullying, or anti-abuse. Themes are asked to be family friendly. With that, my second guest artist has come into the fold and this is what I wrote in the Galaxy Zento blog:

My second guest artist is Kevin, known as "ayelid" on Deviantart.com. Yes, his name is a link to his page. When you're done reading here you really should check it out! Kevin did a pencil drawing of five GZ characters in one picture. I will tell you right now that this has spurred a short story idea with me! But back to the picture (click on it for larger view), from the top you have King Frederick the giant rat, Bloodraizer the assassin with his secret mentor hovering over him, Victor Darksong, and War Horse. King Fred and War Horse are the heroes of this picture by the way. Below you'll see the original works of these characters. The most awesome thing he did, was to create a connection to autism, that's the puzzle pieces.

I want to pause and make note that you will likely see differences between my drawings of my characters and the guest artist's renditions. But that's what's amazing about sharing views of other artists and I am honored and humbled when ever someone comes in and gets involved. It's about involvement and an interactivity. When it comes to autism education, nothing could be more true or of more importance. People with autism need patience and understanding (in general as not all of us feel this way). They need interactivity to help them get along in a world that never quite feels right. So when someone comes in and does this kind of work out of such generosity, I am truly honored and grateful for it. Galaxy Zento, no matter where it goes, will always stand for autism education. I'm also posting this at both my autism and GZ blog for this very reason.

Now about Kevin, I asked him a few questions. Here is the short interview: ME: How long have you been doing your artwork? KEVIN: I've been dedicated to drawing for as long as I can remember. My parents have photos they took of me studiously doodling away on a little chalkboard or paper and such. I guess a lot of parents cherish and encourage creativity, but my whole thing went beyond the folks just putting the random drawing on the refrigerator lol. I was getting awards and such for drawing throughout grade school and all the way into high school. I was known as that guy who draws lol. I could get other kids to pay me while I was still in elementary school for drawings they'd want done. I never attended college, but I continue to research and learn whenever I can. I began to seriously try to hone my skills and pursue a career with my artwork around my senior year of high school. I've also been a student of the guitar and other stringed instruments for about as long.

ME: What are your mediums for your work?

KEVIN: Mostly pencil and black ink on good thick, sturdy sketchbook paper. It's always fun to try other things just to see what results I'll get, too, such as using a throwaway ball point pen on cardboard. If I'm working with black ink, I may cover large areas that require ink with a paintbrush, and do little detailed work with technical pens. When drawing with pencils, I might sketch the basic structure of the drawing with an HB pencil, and add finer details with a 2H pencil and use a 2B for large areas that require darker shading. I've also tried my hand at sculpting small scale figures, and tattooing, in a proper safe environment, of course lol.

ME: And what's your favorite part of art?

KEVIN: I think my favorite part about the art that I do is the part when you begin to have a drawing or sculpture that is taking form and beginning to look like you've created something. It's nice to make it look as slick as possible, and get compliments from people on it, but that point where you're like, "yeah, it looks like what I was going for" is the most enjoyable, I think.

I think I couldn't agree more! There's a journal on Ayelid's page where he talks about doing commissions and you can see that and his work through the link above. This work will also be posted at the Facebook fan page, faves at my Deviantart page and the website when it launches.

Still an advocate

Advocate: Webster's Dictionary: One who speaks or writes in support of a cause.

If you've been following my blog then you will know that I both speak and write (especially write) in support of autism education. To me that is a worthy cause to write about. I'm sure we can all agree on that.

Now it's true that I am pursuing a great goal in my life in my writing and illustration of my fantasy universe, Galaxy Zento. Even so, I remain an advocate. I still write and speak in support of a cause. I volunteer my efforts to help others understand. I have even incorporated this cause and others I support into Galaxy Zento.

I may only get a good post on here once a week, but that doesn't mean I'm turning my back on the autism community. I will always support autism education. I have already made steps toward this. Granted, I'm not making money at this, but I'm building something. I'm building something positive and good.

I would think that stands as an example of what people can do. So, I'm still an advocate and my blog still stands. Anyone can peruse through the entries or google me and find my work any time they like. They can share it with anyone it may be of help to. I love sharing! So long as credit is given where it is due.

As for me being a cartoonist... THANK YOU! It's so nice to be recognized for my talents. Of course, cartoonists are much better at drawing the same thing a hundred times over for motion than me. I'm really just a humble illustrator/artist.