Article tries to link Autistic MEN with Child Porn

I am sick to my stomach. My blood is boiling and I could burst into flames any second now. Yes, I could spontaneously combust with the disgust I am experiencing right this second. What has me so bent? This article:

Autism and Child Pornography: A Toxic Combination 

Go ahead. It opens in a new window. It's an article by none other than Eustacia Cutler, Temple Grandin's mother! It's written for the Daily Beast (not sure what I think of that combo) and it's getting more than a few autistic adults up in arms. Before I explain why, I'm going to come right out and say this article is irresponsible and dangerous. If you go by just the bold print, sure, child porn is a toxic combo with anything. It's practically the most heinous of the heinous. It's a level of crime that gets you murdered in prison just for being there. And this article wants you to believe there is an alarming trend of autistic men viewing child porn.

So what's wrong? First lets take the author's credentials into consideration:

Eustacia Cutler is a published author. She has a Bachelor of Arts (in what I don't know). Her research in retardation and autism established the basis of two television documentaries. And finally, she wrote school programs for television. That and she raised the most famous and popular autism icon we can mention; Temple Grandin.  Add all that together and it's reasonable to say that this woman's word is going to be taken at face value as rock solid fact by people who don't know enough about autism themselves.

And I want to add, I'm sure she knows plenty about autism, but this article is bad news with a capital B-A-D!

The article starts out with a single case of a young man being caught with child porn on his computer. This young man has autism. Now it's important to note that Eustacia did not interview this man, did  not examine him or read any of his psychological records (at least she says nothing about any of that). Therefore, everything based on this  man as an example is absolute speculation. By the way, this is the only case she offers to support her theories or "facts". She presents all of her information as fact, by the way. Never does she say "in my opinion".

That brings us to what the whole of her article is really "supported" by. Yes, I mean "supported" as in using matchsticks to hold up a brick building. She states in the article that her years in studying autism have given her "insight to autism's social hurdles".  I want to point out at this point, that she is specifically talking about autistic MEN. Just the men. She doesn't say "in such and such circumstances" she says "autistic men" period. What does she say?

Autistic men have the minds of ten year olds: She doesn't say that certain types of autistic men are like this, she just says that we have the minds of ten year olds. "They look like grown men but inside they're only 10 years old."  I will agree that immaturity (to varying scales) is commonplace in autism (to both sexes!) but we do grow up. Amazing thought eh? I'm 43 years old, have an IQ of 145, have had jobs since I was 14 (until disability in 2008), managed to survive on my own since I was 14 (in the streets), now have 4 children and a loving wife, and I harbor an intense hatred of crimes against children. You might call me a special case but get this; in my 9 years of study, research and advocacy, in talking to hundreds of different people with autism (my Facebook page has over 4000 people connected to it) I have traded words with exactly ONE person who was arrested for child porn. That was Dr. Nick Dubin and he admitted he knew it was wrong and is now presumably serving time somewhere. And he should be! Even for Dr. Dubin, while he may have had immature thinking, is not 10 years old nor does he have the mind of a 10 year old. At least there's no research evidence to prove this and that brings us to the next point.

She admits there's no supporting data: That's right. Right in the middle of the article she admits there's no data available to support that autistic men are any more prone to becoming pedophiles than any other classification of human being on the planet. But she continues to present her "insights" as "facts". Mind you that won't matter one wink to the layman who's trying to learn about autism and stumbles across her article. Posting an article like this, expecting to to be accepted as fact without supporting data (studies, research, crime statistics) is extremely irresponsible. The layman is going to look at this article and go "OMG, autistic men become pedophiles!" or "Oh yeah, I bet that weirdo down the street is one of these."  And my next point doesn't  help because I'm quoting her directly when I say:

"They don't want to be taught by adults, they want to be taught by 10 year olds": Dear God! When I was dating at 17, 18, and 19 on up... I had an age requirement that I was very serious about. If you couldn't go where I go because of age... we didn't date, PERIOD. I wouldn't go more than a year backwards at 17.  A couple years ago I gave my daughter grief for dating a guy a bit older than her. And for the record, I was taught by a woman older than me. I wouldn't have had it any other way. You can bet I plan to teach my son what's appropriate too! All of this article is so sadly generalized it's frightening. There's no way to misunderstand highlighted points like that unless you just can't figure out basic English. And what studies do these words come from. What supports the idea that adult men with autism (spectrum not withstanding) would rather mess around with 10 year olds? Well, according to Eustacia, adult autistic men are retarded and infantile and don't know any better. According to her, we're slaves to our sex drives and stunted in the brain. But this article targeting autistic men doesn't stop making leaps into madness there. 

She takes a slap at Tony Attwood that's not even related to the article: You read that right. What does Tony Attwood have to do with any of her article. Oh, I know, he's a man and has autism! But her slap actually has nothing to do with the article at all! 

Quote:

 I asked Tony Attwood, an internationally known autism counselor who works directly with those young men with Asperger who despair of finding their way in the world—or of even understanding it.

“Were you ever able to stop a boy from suicide?”

He turned from me, his face taut: “I think maybe I did ... once.”

Wha? Suicide? What does Tony Attwood saving some kid from suicide have to do with child porn? What does Tony Attwood have to do with the article at all? I can only call this a personal slap or stab. Apparently she doesn't like Tony Attwood. What better place to bring out the slapping glove than an article about autistic men going pedophile? 

I can safely tell you that I am not the only person who feels this way. Check out this article by Emily Willingham. She breaks it down quite nicely.

The autism community has enough stigma problems. We're associated with being retarded, weird, or violent. We get labelled as school shooters or fanatical whackos. The last thing in the universe we could ever need is to be associated with pedophilia. I've said it before and I'll say it again: having autism does not make a person any more likely to be a criminal than anyone else. It does not make for instant psychopaths. 

I believe we need to teach our children about sexuality and how to protect themselves from predators. We need to teach them internet safety and the law. I don't believe my child having autism automatically makes him a risk as a pedophile. In closing, I submit that, just because you're a celebrity (Jenny McCarthy anyone?) or raise one, it doesn't make everything that comes out of your mouth gold. It doesn't make you an expert. Eustacia Cutler is not a doctor in any form of psychiatry. She posted flamboyant information with no supportive facts or studies to back it up. If I were Temple Grandin, I would be really pissed at my mother about now.

Understanding Autism for Dummies

How do you tell people your child has autism? How do you tell people you have autism?

This is one of the questions that was presented when I asked friends on Facebook what readers want to know about autism. It's a very good question. In looking at that question there is a reality we need to take into consideration.

Most strangers just don't care. They only care about what irritates them as they move around in public.

I know that seems harsh, but it's true. While we want the general public to understand our child, it really only matters for those who will be working with him or her directly. It counts for those who are supposed to care about our children, be teaching them or spending copious amounts of time with them. That is where to start in telling anyone that our kids have autism.

Now, in continuing to answer this question I want to tell you about a book I recently purchased on Amazon for about 15 bucks (including shipping) called, Understanding Autism for Dummies. You may already know of the "for dummies" series. It's excellent in "dumbing down" technical information to make it easy for just about anyone to understand. Let me tell you about this book by Stephen M. Shore EdD and Linda G Rastelli MA with foreward by Temple Grandin... it's a GOOD book!

I will go more into the makings of this book that you should go buy RIGHT NOW in another posting, but for now I want to go over chapter 17. It's about Ten ways to respond to questions or comments that you will deal with and may recognize. Please note, I am going to quote the book somewhat directly with proper credit intended to the authors. I am going to do this in the format of the comment, followed by why it's inappropriate (it's problem) and responses the book suggests. You should get the book for the full message.

Comment: What's his special talent?
Problem: Reduces your child or you to the status of a circus performer or social oddity (though the question is innocent enough and not usually intended to be rude).
Responses: "Some autistic children have special talents and some don't, just like the rest of us. What's your special talent?"
"I don't know, but I can tie my tongue into a knot."
"We don't think of him that way. We think everything he does shows talent, considering how hard he has to work to overcome his disability."

Comment: Why can't you control your kid?
Problem: Assumes you are just a bad parent.
You can tell this person that your child has autism if you like. I have found, in some communities, people are getting more understanding. They lose the glare, nod and walk away. But some can't be helped. The book doesn't really give responses in this, rather advice. Don't let these people get to you. Yeah, easier said than done, but you have to remind yourself that this person simply doesn't KNOW. Some things I have said when someone gets invasive on the point:

"Sorry, but standing there staring is rude too."
"Thanks for your input, have a nice day."

Then I ignore them.

Comment: Asperger snausberger, he looks fine, he just needs a better attitude.
Problem: Dismissal of his condition and what I like to call "assumption of brathood".
This falls in with the above and the book makes a suggestion here. You can carry pamphlets on autism education or a card that simply has the name of a website such as Autismsociety.org. The follows the same train of thought I have after that. You can only educate the open minded. Pass them by after that. You have your hands full enough without them.

Comment: Who did he inherit it from?
Problem: Implies that someone is to blame.
You tell them that genetic research has found that there are hereditary factors but they are very hard to be sure of. Or, you can go for the humorous angle and claim responsibility with pride. If your spouse is with you, the two of you can both claim responsibility and maybe even mock argue the situation a little. The truth is, that while this is ignorant (thought innocent), it really has little to do with how things have to be handled or how you and your child have to live with it.

Comment: Why should your child get special treatment?
Problem: Dismissive.
The book explains that you and your child have rights to proper support where needed (such as in school) and it's just as simple as that. Most people in public don't seem to hit on this one, but that doesn't mean you won't come across this very rude person. Refer them to the Americans with Disabilities Act and the idea of general human decency. Then walk away.

Comment: Are you kidnapping that child?
Problem: Accusatory and dangerous to you in public.
You have to handle this one gently. The more you get defensive and offended the more others will judge you in a negative light. Use the power of education here and explain the situation as best you can. Most people who are truly concerned and security personnel will understand and back off. Sometimes others who are nearby who also know autism will chime in and help you. This has happened to me personally.

Comment: (sort of) The "Bad Parent" glare.
Problem: Accusatory without words and very uncomfortable.
Remember what I said above. You can also say, "Excuse me? Can I help you?" and draw attention to their own rudeness. Be sickening sweet about it too. Be nice. It shows all others around the difference in public behaviors.

Comment: Is she/he still in their own world?
Problem: Assumes that all autistics are in the same box.
The fact is that we are so aware of our world around us that it can be painful. As the book says, imagine having to go through your day able to hear (loudly) the ticking of every clock in the house, or being driven to distraction by the crinkling of a plastic bag someone is shoving under the sink (from even the farthest room in the house). Imagine not being able to filter out the input your brain is trying to take in. There are a couple of responses suggested for this. Here is the more bold approach (even the book says this about it so use with care)
(Staring blankly say:) "Who else's world would she be in? I mean, really. It's not like they beam us all off the planet at age 22 is it? If they did, I missed my flight, darn."
The second is a longer winded approach but suggests that you basically explain that autistic people tune out as a defense mechanism against a world that is too bright, too loud and full of innuendo that's hard to understand. Inform that such a question is a good way to annoy an autistic person. They understand more than most people realize.

Comment: They grow out of it, don't they?
Problem: Assumes that it's just a phase and is dismissive.
This person needs to know that autism is with us for the rest of our lives. I have personally told people that my son will grow out of phases that they see and be able to live life to break assumptions that he will always be the way they see him now. The fact is, autistic people grow and go through phases like anyone else. They start as babies, children and then make it to adulthood.

Comment: But she doesn't look autistic.
Problem: Truly ignorant and dismissive. Assumes that there is a special "look" to autism like a missing arm or leg.
The defending information is that autistic people look just like everyone else. Autism is a biological disorder in the brain. It may affect some aspects of how the body reacts, but does not change physical features. Also, for those who mention Rain man or some such thing, it should be mentioned that not everyone has that effect. If they do, they still "look" like everyone else.

So there are some tips from the book: Understanding Autism for Dummies and I strongly suggest giving it a read! There are lots of ways to respond to the ignorance of others, you can be quaint and educative or slightly sarcastic and have fun. The point is not to let them get you down and keep you from living a good life.