Thursday, June 27, 2013

With a special message for autism

It's finally available; my second book. It's a collection of 12 short stories that will make you laugh, gasp and wonder. While I need to advertise my book, this time there is something special I've added.

At the end of this book is a special note from the Author (me) regarding living with Autism, Aspergers, MS and other conditions. We are such kin in our comparable medical issues that it felt right to be inclusive.

It means a lot to me to inspire others, especially our youth, with my work. I know, not everyone can do the same things, but we can all do something to enrich ourselves. As I've said before, I'm not talking about going out and getting some back breaking job when you may be unable to serve on an employed position. I'm talking about doing something just because you enjoy it and it's good for you.

I grew up without anyone knowing that I had/have Asperger's Syndrome and Bipolar disorder (yes you can have both). In my age and demographics it wasn't even a consideration. So I was never tested for it. I was only tested for my IQ. Being ahead on IQ and considered a borderline child genius (yes, I was) didn't help with the severe bullying in Jr. High. I went home bloody at least twice a week. I had to hide that too. I had to clean myself up somewhere on the two mile walk home from school so my Step-Mother wouldn't know. Why? Because she abused me too. I fought back a couple of times and wound up with police at my door and more trouble than it was worth.

My Stepmother only knew how to scream and yell while downing one beer after another. I could tell you more about her daily manner, but I'm afraid it would trigger some of you. Suffice to say, I wound up having my own PTSD from the things she did.

So I left home at age 14, wound up in another state and then out of school at 10th grade. I had to join Job Corps and get my GED to make my way forward in life.

Despite all these things, I carried myself forward. I had jobs and relationships. I got married (thought not always for the right reasons) and now have four wonderful kids. Let me just say that those kids have made anything that went bad in my past relationships worth it 100x over.

Now, I get to add Multiple Sclerosis to the mix. My knees don't want to hold me up most days so I have to us a four pod cane. I get dizzy spells and exhaustion at ridiculous times and often without getting much done. I have to pace myself around my household chores and I'm losing the coordination in my hands (as well as the rest of my body). I walk into freaking walls, people. Not fun.

But now I write and do my illustrations (in spite of my hands) and refuse to give up. My son needs to know, that just because Dad is on a cane, doens't mean he's helpless or can't do anything. On top of that, I want others to know that they can do things too.  I make my heroes and write my stories that have been in my head since childhood. But now I do them with a new purpose. And I'm not going to stop.

If you or your kids wonder what they can become because of their conditions and difficulties, please share my story with them. And I'm not the only one out there who can do this either.

And you don't have to be some prodigy that gets famous, okay? Do it because it enriches you and makes you feel the power of accomplishment. If that's reading a hundred books a year, do it. Shooting baskets and learning sports, do it. Just do it.

I plan on sharing this often, so I apologize in advance for anyone that offends. For the rest of what I do, visit or my Facebook page under the same name. Free reading for GZ Legends and lots of illustrations that I do, no matter what my head and  hands are doing to me. I know there are a lot of you out there who can relate.

So, what are you doing to do?

Friday, June 21, 2013

Is it puberty mixed with Asperger's or something worse?

Seriously, I don't know.

Last summer, my had a friend we will call L. They were inseparable and he wanted to play with her more than anyone else he ever met. Sadly, L lived a life that was unstable. She moved away at the end of last summer quite suddenly. The results were catastrophic. Today, I got a severe glimpse of just how much.

A terrible school year didn't help him at all and there was so much to deal with; we couldn't give enough attention to one underlying problem. Today, my son told me he has no true friends and never will. Think about that for a second.

On top of that, he's taken to talking to an imaginary form of her. He just told me he dreams about her every night and it wakes him up. Then he burst into tears.

So, he's created an imaginary friend, that has everyone thinking he's hearing voices that aren't there. He's obsessing over a girl who moved away almost a year ago. And what's sadder yet; he's right. He has no true friends on this block. He has no one that he feels wants to play with him.

Every day, he goes to houses down the block and wants to play with the other kids. He gets the brush off and he knows it. How must that kind of rejection feel? What he showed me today, just how much he's suffering. Now, what do I do about it?

We're on the lookout for summer programs, but once those end, what next? My son needs a friend. He just wants someone he can get silly with, play games with, talk video games with.

Today, the bottled emotions blew. Now what do I do?