California school wants to pay to keep autistic child OUT

(Credit to photo: Sydney Lupkin, World News)

It never ceases to amaze me, the horrifying leaps that school systems will take to cover their own spotted rear ends. When they think it's just too much trouble for them to do their jobs and give someone their right to education as written in law. Well, today's story really takes the cake and takes a big steaming dump in the middle of it. Get the details here and I'll explain. Yes, that's a link to the news story!

Okay? Did you get it all? Now some of you, as you are sitting there are probably shaking your heads. There are a couple of things about this story that will cause that. However, they don't matter in the grand scheme of it all.

Like the fact that David Swanson is 21 and his time is about up for what the law allows. But the law is the law, people. If this is allowed to slide, who's kid will it happen to next? As it is, David has severe autism, diabetes, and is non-verbal. The law says he has a right to be there. And why is the system so worried?

They force fed him his own gagged up food.  Apparently this was to teach a child with severe disability some kind of twisted life lesson. I can think of a number of life lessons I would like to teach the lady that did that, but I risk really losing composure. This is grotesque and cruel. It's abuse, plain an simple. And so his mother, Heather Houston, did what any parent should do. She filed complaints. That didn't sit well with the uppity school system that could do no wrong. Of course it didn't.

They offered a settlement of $86,000 to basically go away. Let's face it. That's exactly what it is. It comes with stipulations that she drop all complaints and may not file complaint against them again. Yes, the said the money is to take him to a private school, but here's what makes this an exceptional smoking pile of bull:

The law says they have to do that anyway, stipulations not included. Think about that for a second. The law says, if the school finds they cannot provide FEPA that it falls on them to place the student in the alternative educational setting and pay for it. It is not supposed to be "throw money at the parent and kick them out the door (with a list of stupid demands)". Her complaints will more than net this for her without their worthless offer. Yes, I said worthless. It comes no where near what would be needed to pay for the costs of a private educational setting with all his needs met. And their stipulations are especially garbage because they are supposed to do this anyway. Leave it to some stuck on themselves group of educators to try and make what they're supposed to do by law sound like some big generous thing on their part.

Heather Houston does not want their money. Apparently this comes as a big surprise to some of the commentors on the link above. They still accuse her of it even after the article says she didn't want their money. What she wants is what her son has a legal right to. It's also what your child has a legal right to. Should a year's difference make it okay to treat your child like that? Do tell.

Hold them accountable. That's my message to Heather. Don't give up. Don't take their pitiful dodge attempt. Don't let them get away with it. The educational system needs major changes for things like this. For example, it's almost impossible to fire a teacher. That's the most ridiculous thing in any job field ever. I realize everyone needs job security; but if you force field a child his own coughed up chunks until he vomits, you should be out of a job and being prosecuted to boot.

Now Heather and the nurse, Annette Armstrong have chimed in on their position in the comments. I applaud them. Keep up the good work, ladies and God bless!

My own cosplay adventures and lessons learned

I've spent a considerable amount of time comparing opinions on Heroes of Cosplay. After watching the most recent episode where Monica (?) slams a fellow cosplayer saying "You're the last person I would ever want to cosplay with" (following that up with further degrading remarks); I realized just what a dark shadow this show casts on the cosplay and costuming community.

Now a bunch of you are going: "Wait a minute, Dave does cosplay?"  Yes, actually, I have. But let me tell you what Heroes of Cosplay taught me.  First, check this out:

That's a pic of my son when he was 2. He won the child's section of the GenCon Costume contest. He won because he was cute as cute could be and went on the stage rolling dice. We did it for fun. After watching Heroes of Cosplay, I realize we didn't even belong there. It has taught me that, if you enter these contests for fun, you are stepping on some elitist's toes. If you win the contest they way my kiddo did, you are slapping everyone else in the face.  You see, we didn't make that costume (and we told the judges that). We found it at a yard sale. Someone made it, but we had no idea who. That means our kiddo won over people who spent laboring  hours on their costumes, possibly just like the people on the show. Don't get me wrong. I'm damn proud of my kiddo's accomplishment with his power of cute and rolling those dice. He rocked. But we didn't make that costume. And again, don't get me wrong, no one mistreated us over it. The point is, the show causes me to reflect and realize that we must have been so out of place, or that's how they would have it look the way they are going.

"But, Dave, that's your kid cosplaying, not you."

Oh fine, here:

Hey, not bad for a firsts time doing it at a con. Later that night I did Zombie Joker and that turned out pretty wild.

 I always tried to make myself pull off a look as completely as possible (before this I did halloween stuff a lot, but can't find any of my old pics). I knew it would entertain. You know that's more the purpose of the full cosplay experience. You're supposed to enjoy yourself, share a talent and interest, and just have a really good time. There are a lot of very important sides of cosplay that the show doesn't bring. It's not about being superficial and shallow. It's not about bashing other peoples looks because you didn't place in a stupid contest where the bag was just a grand (yes I know what title means, but if you do your stuff well, your appearance says it all).

I would rather do the fun things, like charities and special events. No thanks on the contests. And I don't think that everyone who goes to contests is an elitist snob, but that show seems to want you to think so.At least where one or two of them is concerned. And I realize that I'm not trying to make a living at it. But if you are, and you can't handle it when you don't win a contest, maybe you shouldn't be there. Maybe that's not a good living for you. Seriously, if you are going to test minefields, you can't get all mad when you get blown up.

So, no contests for me. I like what you aren't getting to see. I like the heartwarming side with the freedom and acceptance. Oh, but I will say that Ya Ya Han does an awesome job of showing what craftsmanship means.

Autism: Dealing with Ignorant Comments

You all know what I mean by ignorant comments. It's the witty things people in public say without forethought regarding us or our children an autism. They typically do the same thing for people with disabilities too. It's a never ending headache that some special in-duh-viduals seem bent on delivering. Well, enough. No more Mr. Nice Guy. It's time to at least put a humorous spin on this migraine that is public ignorance. I've also considered that maybe it's not their fault. Maybe they're addicted to the taste of their own feet. Try this next time someone walks by and delivers a stupid comment. Imagine them having to bounce around on their buts because they have both legs in their throat up the knees.

Now for a few favorites from the public blather mouths.

1-"He (or you) looks normal to me."  I hate this one. Time to put this person in their place hard:

"Oh, where did you get your medical degree?"  Watching them bumble in response to that is funny every single time.

"And what did you think we'd look like?"  Again, funny every time.

"I left my hockey mask at home." Watch their eyes grow three sizes.

2- "Oh what's his special skill?"  Because we love having our children referred to like sideshow attractions.

"Knife throwing." Say this with a perfectly straight face regardless of your child's age and get set for a look of sheer terror.

"Putting up with other people's ignorance." To be said casually as if you knew the question was coming the whole time.

"Why, do you want to buy tickets?" If they say yes, charge them 50 bucks and say it's non-refundable.

3- "Maybe you should spank him."  Or some similar idiotic phrase.

"What? You want to spank my child?" Said loud enough for the rest of the public to hear. Then watch that idiot make tracks in a hurry.

"Maybe you should get a lobotomy." Hey one stupid suggestion deserves another.

"Thank you for your useless advice."  If they are even halfway listening, it should get their goat.

4- "Shouldn't be in public." Comments like this one are usually said from one idiot to the other about you or your child. Of course they seem to want you to hear them.

"Neither should you." If they can't handle what the public has to offer, they should stay home.

"It's rude to talk about people like that."  The old "call em out" routine has a pretty good track record of shutting people up.

"Wow, you're helpful." Because no, no they aren't. And this one makes a good comeback for several situations.

Now, you probably shouldn't actually be mean to these people and some just can't be taught anything. But it sure can relieve some stress to think of some snappy comebacks to try and kick start their poor addled brains. In any case, here's hoping you got a chuckle. Don't let public ignorance get you down.

Letters that target the disabled are sick

Let me jump right in with the link, because until you've seen it, you won't be as boiled over as I am right now.

FAMILY IN SHOCK AFTER LETTER TARGETING SON WITH AUTISM

Go ahead, it will open in a new window. Then come back, I'll wait for ya.

Now, as an added piece of asshattery, did you read the letter itself? No?

I so very much hope and pray they find this person. Who ever this is, she's the one with the problem, not the autistic boy she's targeting. Anyone who suggests to me that I euthanize my child is likely to lose some teeth. Yes, I'm a weak man, and that would be about enough to make me say "Oh screw this!". 

The person who wrote this letter is a either a hateful idiot or has a whole encyclopedia of her own problems (likely both).  But I tell you what, they are looking for her and really, it shouldn't be that hard to find her.

1. She's close by. Very close in fact. Walking distance judging from the fact she "hears" the autistic boy's noises outside. 

2: She has children as in plural. She even says so in the letter when pointing out that the noises scare her "normal CHILDREN". I'm pretty sure, only a handful of Mom's in the area are going to fit the bill.

Another point. Look at the paper. It's either previously used xerox paper or came from a printer with a toning problem. Either Mommy has a bad printer or uses paper from the recycling bin, or Mommy did this at work with paper form the recycling bin. If that's the case, Mad Mommy works in an office setting. 

Now I'll go out on a limb and say that this isn't the first rager Mad Mommy has been on. I would say, not only does she have her own severe mental illness issues, but may also have a record. No one tells you to off your own child unless they are cruel trolls or severely mentally ill. It's just that simple. 

Now, she's a coward; so she's going to put on a really big "Nice Mommy" act when spoken to. She'll sound just like the parents who really are shocked and disgusted, only with her, it will be fake. 

So, for you folks in the neighborhood manhunt, let's recap:

She has two or more children, is severely stressed out and bad tempered, lives in close walking distance, may have a record (may even be a problem neighbor already), and either works in an office setting or has a really crappy printer and uses scrap paper.  

I'm here to tell you, it would not take me long to find this person. Of course, no one would want me to do this.

What is wrong with people? Because this isn't a rare issue. It's happening in more and more places. People deciding to go all nasty on families who have enough to struggle with. Psycho's who somehow think they are the disability police will leave notes to harass and even threaten.  Earlier this summer I saw a case where someone put a letter on a lady's steering wheel, nagging about parking in the disabled spot. According to the author of the note, the lady didn't "look disabled". Well isn't that nice?  Too bad they're such cowards. Even the jerks in Portland who claim they will out people with disabilities for some psychotic political rampage.  Look it up.

But, people, if you get a threatening letter, don't be weak like me. Call the police and file the complaint. Put them on the news. Press charges. Don't go to jail for them. That's more where they belong.

Article tries to link Autistic MEN with Child Porn

I am sick to my stomach. My blood is boiling and I could burst into flames any second now. Yes, I could spontaneously combust with the disgust I am experiencing right this second. What has me so bent? This article:

Autism and Child Pornography: A Toxic Combination 

Go ahead. It opens in a new window. It's an article by none other than Eustacia Cutler, Temple Grandin's mother! It's written for the Daily Beast (not sure what I think of that combo) and it's getting more than a few autistic adults up in arms. Before I explain why, I'm going to come right out and say this article is irresponsible and dangerous. If you go by just the bold print, sure, child porn is a toxic combo with anything. It's practically the most heinous of the heinous. It's a level of crime that gets you murdered in prison just for being there. And this article wants you to believe there is an alarming trend of autistic men viewing child porn.

So what's wrong? First lets take the author's credentials into consideration:

Eustacia Cutler is a published author. She has a Bachelor of Arts (in what I don't know). Her research in retardation and autism established the basis of two television documentaries. And finally, she wrote school programs for television. That and she raised the most famous and popular autism icon we can mention; Temple Grandin.  Add all that together and it's reasonable to say that this woman's word is going to be taken at face value as rock solid fact by people who don't know enough about autism themselves.

And I want to add, I'm sure she knows plenty about autism, but this article is bad news with a capital B-A-D!

The article starts out with a single case of a young man being caught with child porn on his computer. This young man has autism. Now it's important to note that Eustacia did not interview this man, did  not examine him or read any of his psychological records (at least she says nothing about any of that). Therefore, everything based on this  man as an example is absolute speculation. By the way, this is the only case she offers to support her theories or "facts". She presents all of her information as fact, by the way. Never does she say "in my opinion".

That brings us to what the whole of her article is really "supported" by. Yes, I mean "supported" as in using matchsticks to hold up a brick building. She states in the article that her years in studying autism have given her "insight to autism's social hurdles".  I want to point out at this point, that she is specifically talking about autistic MEN. Just the men. She doesn't say "in such and such circumstances" she says "autistic men" period. What does she say?

Autistic men have the minds of ten year olds: She doesn't say that certain types of autistic men are like this, she just says that we have the minds of ten year olds. "They look like grown men but inside they're only 10 years old."  I will agree that immaturity (to varying scales) is commonplace in autism (to both sexes!) but we do grow up. Amazing thought eh? I'm 43 years old, have an IQ of 145, have had jobs since I was 14 (until disability in 2008), managed to survive on my own since I was 14 (in the streets), now have 4 children and a loving wife, and I harbor an intense hatred of crimes against children. You might call me a special case but get this; in my 9 years of study, research and advocacy, in talking to hundreds of different people with autism (my Facebook page has over 4000 people connected to it) I have traded words with exactly ONE person who was arrested for child porn. That was Dr. Nick Dubin and he admitted he knew it was wrong and is now presumably serving time somewhere. And he should be! Even for Dr. Dubin, while he may have had immature thinking, is not 10 years old nor does he have the mind of a 10 year old. At least there's no research evidence to prove this and that brings us to the next point.

She admits there's no supporting data: That's right. Right in the middle of the article she admits there's no data available to support that autistic men are any more prone to becoming pedophiles than any other classification of human being on the planet. But she continues to present her "insights" as "facts". Mind you that won't matter one wink to the layman who's trying to learn about autism and stumbles across her article. Posting an article like this, expecting to to be accepted as fact without supporting data (studies, research, crime statistics) is extremely irresponsible. The layman is going to look at this article and go "OMG, autistic men become pedophiles!" or "Oh yeah, I bet that weirdo down the street is one of these."  And my next point doesn't  help because I'm quoting her directly when I say:

"They don't want to be taught by adults, they want to be taught by 10 year olds": Dear God! When I was dating at 17, 18, and 19 on up... I had an age requirement that I was very serious about. If you couldn't go where I go because of age... we didn't date, PERIOD. I wouldn't go more than a year backwards at 17.  A couple years ago I gave my daughter grief for dating a guy a bit older than her. And for the record, I was taught by a woman older than me. I wouldn't have had it any other way. You can bet I plan to teach my son what's appropriate too! All of this article is so sadly generalized it's frightening. There's no way to misunderstand highlighted points like that unless you just can't figure out basic English. And what studies do these words come from. What supports the idea that adult men with autism (spectrum not withstanding) would rather mess around with 10 year olds? Well, according to Eustacia, adult autistic men are retarded and infantile and don't know any better. According to her, we're slaves to our sex drives and stunted in the brain. But this article targeting autistic men doesn't stop making leaps into madness there. 

She takes a slap at Tony Attwood that's not even related to the article: You read that right. What does Tony Attwood have to do with any of her article. Oh, I know, he's a man and has autism! But her slap actually has nothing to do with the article at all! 

Quote:

 I asked Tony Attwood, an internationally known autism counselor who works directly with those young men with Asperger who despair of finding their way in the world—or of even understanding it.

“Were you ever able to stop a boy from suicide?”

He turned from me, his face taut: “I think maybe I did ... once.”

Wha? Suicide? What does Tony Attwood saving some kid from suicide have to do with child porn? What does Tony Attwood have to do with the article at all? I can only call this a personal slap or stab. Apparently she doesn't like Tony Attwood. What better place to bring out the slapping glove than an article about autistic men going pedophile? 

I can safely tell you that I am not the only person who feels this way. Check out this article by Emily Willingham. She breaks it down quite nicely.

The autism community has enough stigma problems. We're associated with being retarded, weird, or violent. We get labelled as school shooters or fanatical whackos. The last thing in the universe we could ever need is to be associated with pedophilia. I've said it before and I'll say it again: having autism does not make a person any more likely to be a criminal than anyone else. It does not make for instant psychopaths. 

I believe we need to teach our children about sexuality and how to protect themselves from predators. We need to teach them internet safety and the law. I don't believe my child having autism automatically makes him a risk as a pedophile. In closing, I submit that, just because you're a celebrity (Jenny McCarthy anyone?) or raise one, it doesn't make everything that comes out of your mouth gold. It doesn't make you an expert. Eustacia Cutler is not a doctor in any form of psychiatry. She posted flamboyant information with no supportive facts or studies to back it up. If I were Temple Grandin, I would be really pissed at my mother about now.

People with autism have no empathy?

I've heard this myth before, but apparently there are "professionals" give it strength and growth. This essentially groups people on the spectrum with the like of outright psychopaths. To me this is becoming slap-worthy. Someone needs to slap some sense into these people.

There is a great big difference between being able to show feelings and being able to feel them. Just because someone has problems showing you how they feel, doesn't mean they are incapable of feeling anything. And yes, I'm talking about for other people. This is a hurtful classification that spreads stigma.

As a high functioning adult, when ever I see someone in trouble, the first instinct I have is to help them somehow. That's not because I'll get some reward for doing it (I don't), but because that person needs help. Since that's my first instinct, I would assume I have some empathy for how that person feels in their plight. I actually care about peoples feelings very much. This might be why I did over 19 years worth of work in protection and law enforcement jobs. It might be why I'm very protective of my family. I love them.

People who take the time to get to know me also know that I care about others very much.

I've also personally met several on the spectrum who voice that they have feelings too.

The lower the functional ability of  a person on the spectrum, the harder it is to interact with the world around them. That doesn't mean they are incapable of caring or feeling. I can remember when people used to think there wasn't anyone inside of those people at all. Studies have proven that wrong.

So what's the problem with our showing empathy? Living with any level of autism is awkward and difficult. We care what people think, but have a hard time interacting with that. Recognizing social cues is extremely hard, but that doesn't mean we don't care. You might have to explain things to us a little extra so we can get it, but again; that doesn't mean we don't or won't care. It doesn't mean that other peoples feelings don't matter to us.

In reality, we want to function, we want to fit, just like anyone else. When I realize that I missed how someone else felt about something, I get angry with myself. I think: "Dammit, how could I have missed that?" And then I want to apologize. People with no empathy don't want to apologize.

These "professionals" who write us off as having no empathy are doing just that; writing us off. To them, Asperger's or any autism is just like any other mental illness or psychosis and that's dead wrong.

So, next time you hear someone saying that we have no empathy; look them in the face and say: "I'm sorry you feel that way, but you're wrong." And then just walk away.  I know not all of use can do that. I also know that there may just be enough of us who can. Let's blast this myth out of the water, shall we?

My thoughts on racism after the Zimmerman trial

The purpose of this post is not to debate the Zimmerman trial. So please, I'm not looking for any rage on my page. Okay? However, all the raging and debating I have seen has finally brought me to writing this. Also, I was inspired by a fellow on Facebook. Time to bring this to light.

Racism is wrong.

Now that I've said that, let me point out that it's wrong no matter who it's against. It's time to get past the idea that the color of a person's skin makes them what they are. It's time to get past the idea that color is a reason to condemn. If you stop and actually think about it, what you really don't like about anyone is their behavior. It's time to cut away the link of race to behavior.

To me, the color of your skin is nothing more than a means of physical identification. That's it, that's all. I prefer not to mix the color of your skin with your culture either. Let's go with Black Culture for a second. What is that? And better yet, which one? African Culture? Hip Hop Culture? Yes, I've had people tell me that Hip Hop is a Black Culture, so I'm only quoting them (and they were African American people too, so argue with them). The point is, that if you just say Black Culture, you could be referring to several ways of thinking on several ways of life. I've seen this first hand. Isn't it interesting that in all the persons of any one color of skin across the whole planet, there are still dozens of cultures? Hundreds even. That's why I don't care to use the color of your skin to associate with your culture.

When it comes right down to it, it's the cultures that clash, not the color of skin. Behaviors and beliefs clash, not the color of skin.

Here's what we all are above all. We are the Human Race. We are a species. Once you look past the color of skin; we all have the same types of organs. We are inter-mixable. A man of any color can make a baby with a woman of any color. We all get the same diseases, have the same emotional capabilities, and can commit the same atrocities. So, when the most powerful forces in the universe don't discriminate, whey do we? I'll tell you why.

Because the human race has a lot to learn to accept itself as a species of intellects instead of just a bunch of colors.

Here's another thought for you: Polar bears are white and Kodiaks are brown. Neither of them give a damn. BOTH of them will KILL you no matter what color YOU are. You see, while we use color to identify them for science; all we really need to remember is their behavior. In the case of bears, we need to remember that, no matter what color they are, we need to stay the hell away from them or risk getting mauled.

I can even take it to the inanimate. If I pick up two rocks that are the same size and weight, but are different colors, and I throw them at you; can you tell me which one hurt more? Probably not, but I've just assaulted you with rocks. That's a behavior that lands me in jail, regardless of why I did it.

I'm all for abolishing racism. Unfortunately, if you go at it too hard, you can become a racist yourself. It's a vicious double edge sword that will poison you if you aren't careful. So I'm going to make a risky example:

If you go around saying: I hate all  you white supremacists. That's a racist comment. As soon as you interject color as the basis of your anger or hatred, it's racist. What you really hate, is the behavior of some people in profiling others based on color. Behavior, people, that's what the deal is. Remember that or risk being a hypocrite. I also don't think they should be called "white" supremacists, just racial supremacists. Take the color right out of the equation and the wind right out of their sails.

So, there it is. My thoughts on racism as spurred by the riots and rage. (Come on, looting a Wal-Mart? Really?). Also spurred by people hating on each other on Facebook. What are you really achieving with that? Nothing.