This is an insult to combat veterans and the autism community

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a very real affliction and comes to us in many ways. People who suffer severe trauma or are in a traumatic situation constantly, are high risk for PTSD. I think just about everyone understands that this is a bad thing. Examples of people who have PTSD include, combat veterans, bullying and abuse victims, rape victims, and survivors of catastrophic events.

I respect the pain of any one person. What I don't respect is behavior like this:

On the face of it, it's innocent enough, but at the bottom line, it's faulty. It's inappropriate. It's ableist (hard to believe I'm using that word), and it's an insult to every actual combat veteran out there. It's also extremely selfish. It also completely ignores someone more important than Mom and Dad, namely the child who suffers more than anyone. I'm about to share why this is totally wrong. I'm going to share the comparisons just like I did with some parents who believe in it (because there is a whole facet of the autism community that uses this and it's wrong).

How to compare to the stress faced by a combat soldier: TRIGGER WARNING

1: Watch all your friends DIE violent, explosive, and bloody deaths including complete dismemberment.

2: Wear your buddy's brains around on your shirt because he got his head blown off right next to you.

3: Spend a day gathering your fellow soldiers body parts for identification.

4: Fear common trash piles for the rest of your life because they could be a roadside bomb.

5: Have a society suicide rate of 22 a day. Yes, 22 veterans take their lives every day according to statistics LINK    (I am currently unable to find a statistic on autism parents who kill themselves, but I can find about 2 or 3 cases of parents killing their kids in the last 4 years)

6: Have a homeless rate greater than 8% of the total homeless community. 

Now let me share the direct responses I had to this:

"My son has tried to choke me and his brothers pulled knives."  And yet you haven't had to live through 1, 2, or 3.

"While all situations are not comparable, the chemical reaction that goes on in the body is." Way to dismiss peoples actual experiences!

"My children are violent every day." Lots of people are violent every day and no one is diminishing that for you (except for you). None of those other people need someone else's suffering to get attention.

Important note: None of the people I spoke to was a combat veteran (yes I asked).

The missed the point entirely. Here's another way of looking at this:

AUTISM MOM'S SUFFER PTSD SIMILAR TO RAPE VICTIMS

Sounds fair to rape victims right? Or maybe this:

AUTISM MOMS SUFFER PTSD SIMILAR TO SURVIVORS OF THE JEWISH PRISON CAMPS OF WW2.  (Because you know, physical torture, gas chambers, and acute starvation are totally the same!)

Because we want people to think that our pain is held above anyone else's. They fail to understand that this diminishes the suffering of someone else and uses it inappropriately as a status booster for your own suffering. And the point stands that it is NOT similar at all. If you want to point out that autism parents suffer PTSD from their difficulties, that's fine. Let me retype that in larger print for those who just can't figure it out:

IF YOU WANT TO POST THAT AUTISM PARENTS SUFFER PTSD FROM THEIR DIFFICULTIES, THAT'S FINE. 

Don't use someone elses statistics to bolster your own. Never mind the fact that you make your children sound like the most broken and useless things in creation. And you probably think they can't notice what you think of them in that way. Have you ever thought about the fact that just maybe they can? How would you feel? 

I guess it would be okay for combat veterans and rape victims to start comparing themselves to autism parents, BUT THEY WON'T.

If you want to compare yourself to a combat veteran, go be one!

As for the rest. I will not support anyone who does this. It's a paramount of disrespect and the fact that you want to fight to keep it, says a lot about you.

So your child was just diagnosed with autism...

It just happened and the news hits you like a runaway truck. You experience a mixture of relief and shock. Relief at having a name for the thing you didn't understand and shock because you still have no idea what to do about it. Better yet, your doctor may not know what you should do either. It's bad enough that parenting doesn't come with automatic instructions, but you have far more to learn than the average parent.

Well you aren't alone and this write up is geared to give you more than one place to start.

I am an adult with autism raising a teenager with autism. I've been on your path and then some. Not only did I have to relearn everything I thought I knew about parenting, I had to relearn myself. This advice will by no means cover every thing you could face. Every child is different and how heavily they are affected by autism is vastly different. That's why it's called "the spectrum". Which leads to my first point:

Get to know your child: Sure, every parent has to do this, but you are watching for intricate details that others will take for granted. You are watching for triggers in sensory that others don't commonly react to. You are watching for extreme behaviors that demonstrate super interest or reaction or almost NO interest or reaction. These will be noteworthy to you so you can help your child interact with a loud and intense world. Look for both the things that aggravate and provide comfort. For example, if hiding under a blanket calms a meltdown, you best have a blanket with you on outings. There are three subjects that I use to teach people about autism in children. They are as follows:

-Sensory: Various sensory (your five senses) "problems" or imbalances are common in autism. Colors and lights may be super bright and overbearing. Sounds may be too loud and invasive. Textures may cause extreme discomfort. Yet, some sensory issues may do the opposite so much that your child seeks them out constantly. These can be very strange behaviors. The list is long and some behaviors can be disturbing. The good news is that your child will develop past hundreds of these behaviors. Behaviors as a toddler are by no means bound to be permanent. And by no means should you think you cannot teach your child alternate behaviors. You absolutely can.

-Routine: The order in which you do daily activities is something your child will likely become very sensitive of. Changes in routines may be met with severe resistance. This includes issues like change of wardrobe from one season to the next. As they grow, clear information on how and why of changes may help. Again, these are teaching points for you as the parent. It's simply something you will have long term work on with your child. The forms of many sensitivities will change with age. Just know, that if you teach them to brush their teeth before getting dressed and one day you switch that around, it may become a very difficult day.

-Social: Social interactions are heavily affected by sensory and some delayed maturity issues (but not just those). Social interactions have a tendency to go one of two directions; too little or way too much. Lack of eye contact or "appropriate" response to your emotions (anger or praise) are just the beginning. Clear and literal information can be of utmost importance. For example, my wife summoned my son to his messy bedroom where he had tossed dirty clothes down in his doorway. She asked him "what is wrong with this picture?". My son became very nervous because, while he saw the mess on his floor, he did not see a "picture" anywhere. If she had asked "what is wrong with these clothes?" he would have understood immediately. You're child will have to be taught very specifically what it means when you are happy with him or not. Just expressing the emotions, will likely not work the same as with a typical child. As an additional caution, never spank an autistic child. It will ignite sensory triggers, cause huge meltdowns, and teach them that it's okay to hit you and others. When I say that you will have to learn a whole different way of parenting it is not a casual reflection.

Be involved with your child: Your child needs you more than ever to help them understand how to live in our crazy world. I'm going to make a suggestion that has helped my own son in so many ways.

Play games.

Yes, games. I play and collect heroclix with my son. It's a table top game with tiny figurines of comic book super heroes played out on a map. I developed short term variations of the rules for my son to enjoy at a very young age (about 8). It helped him with social interaction, math, and problem solving. He still loves the game to this day. He has fond memories of interactions with those games. How to react to winning or losing and the random chances of the dice are incredible tools that can be integrated into teaching how the world works in real life. It's creative parenting at its best.

Finally, let me tell you that (while you are understandably shaken now) you have become the parent of a very special form of person. He or she is going to show you things about life you never thought possible. Get ready, because it's going to be quite a trip.

Autism and Back to School

Across the nation we are officially back to school. Maybe a few aren't, but most are. Going back to school means change in schedule and likely a few meltdowns and tantrums. I'm writing this today to touch base on a few reminders that may help you through the transition.

Remember what you learned last year and the year before that. If you've done this more than 3 or 4 times, you should be prepared for resistance. That won't make it any more fun to deal with, but better prepared thinking than not. Consider techniques you used last year and use them again this year.

Don't engage the tantrum: This is especially true with autistics. We can be a very argumentative bunch. Kids already have this angry debating skill. Do your best to stay cool and not react to the tantrum. State your expectations and then drop it. Apply consequences after you get what you want out of the situation and when everyone has calmed down.

Don't apply consequences before going to school if it only further triggers your child into a fit. I have direct experience with this. The idea is getting your child to school, hopefully in a mood that won't destroy their school day. Leave discussing their behavior and any consequences for when they get home. "Remember how you used all those swear words this morning? No video games tonight." This way, you got them to school and gave consequences at a time where you have more time and control.

Remember to reward the behaviors you want. If your kid is handling transition better than last year, tell him! Be happy with what he does right and praise it. Give rewards. A good reward system is always important, even if it isn't worth a hundred bucks. You don't have to spend lavish funds to give rewards. The simple things can be very effective.

Give down time after school. Don't expect your child to go straight to homework the second they walk through the door. He or she has spent the last 8 hours struggling to behave and jump through school hoops. A break after school is welcome and kind. Set up a routine. Offer half an hour of break time to do what ever they want (save anything they can't do because of behavior) with the knowledge that it's homework time after that. My son actually prefers to get right to it, but he always has the option of that after school break.

Hopefully, these tips help you handle the new transition that we all have to wade through. Age doesn't seem to help, so we must be vigilant parents. Have tips you'd like to share? Post them in comments!

Do you or your kids love heroes? Add the Galaxy Zento page! Books and games for ages 8 and up are available. The work of GZ is dedicated to showing our autistic youth that you CAN DO even with a few struggles. Life get's better so never give up. The GZ page is loaded with cool artwork and updates!

Asperger's and delayed maturity

I recently posted a comment on my facebook page that created some decent discussion. One point of Asperger's or mildly affected autism that I and many studies have noted is a delayed maturity. That means that maturing (socially and emotionally) appears to be delayed in children and adults with these conditions.

Comments left by other parents were quite enlightening. Many of us do deal with temper tantrums and outbursts in our kids where it seems like the behavior of a child three (or so) years younger. It naturally varies from child to child.

This can create inappropriate behavior that isn't intentional, rather they just haven't grown out of it. For example, a "huggie" and "kissie" child may continue the behavior years past where most children mature away from it. When the child is 9 years old and is still kissing peoples arms or stomaches (when hugging them hello or goodbye) it can seem rather odd to some people who don't understand. A hug and kiss goodnight is still appropriate for parents, but some may want to hug and kiss everyone in the room. Don't think that can't last until 11 or 12, because it can.

The important thing to do is constantly be ready to correct and teach. My son is learning handshakes for others instead of smothering hugs and kisses that make others feel uneasy. Just as one example.

"You are old enough and big enough that it's time for you to (fill in the blank here)." Explain what is expected of them.

When the behavior carries over to school, it can quickly invite bullying and being socially outcast from groups of more mature children. Schools are getting better at understanding this so they can teach better social skills too, but it's best if Mom and Dad are the ones really on the ball.

Late maturity also affects capability to handle stress (note my past blog on the subject) and childish tantrums can result easily. There are reports of such behavior even into 20+ years of age. Not all of it can be helped or taught out of. All we as parents can do, is our best, to teach them from youth. Many of us, who are around my age, have had to "go back" and relearn after our diagnosis and researching our own conditions. I know I struggled as a child and now I know why.

For those of us who have young children on the spectrum, this is the perfect time to apply those practices.

(Be sure to visit my other blog Galaxy Zento and it's fan page on Facebook! Click the like button and follow along!)

Autism and fractured communities

On every autism group website I have visited I see a claim of community. We claim to be a community coming together or already there. The truth is, autism is the one medical condition that has more dissension and diversity amongst the members of it's community above any other. Allow me to explain that.

Anti-vaxxers, curebies, ND's(Neurodiversity), SA's (Self Advocacy), and even "Autism traitors" are labels we pass out indiscriminately amongst ourselves. At the same time, we adamantly shout not to label us. Along with those labels are heaping helpings of hatred and insults. One side or group is constantly bashing away at another for some perceived insult to their very existence. For one "group" that I haven't seen a label for, may as well give them one and call them "Parent Haters" or PH's. This group is more adversarial towards parents of autistic children with accusations that they are only trying to "cure" their children for their own selfish needs (and destroy who those children really are in the process). Then there's hatred to NT's (neuro-typical people) that is just as bad. With all this internal segregation, let me ask you something;

How can we expect to ever be taken seriously? I have searched other medical conditions for this phenomenon. I searched bipolar disorder and multiple sclerosis, for example. I searched cancer and physical disabilities too. Autism is the only medical condition that acts more like some kind of deranged politics mixed with religious standings. It's putting people at each others throats. Believe it or not, I actually have a theory or two as to why this is happening.

It really comes down to two things:

1) The fact that autism affects each person and family differently.

combined with

2) The inherent social blindness of autistic conditions.

For example, here is a quote from a PH: "I don't need a cure or treatment, so why should anyone else?"

It's well documented that people with these disorders (and this is why it's seen as a disorder) miss how other people are affected by various issues (including autism). There is a natural tendency to expect sameness in a personal view within everyone else. It's like we forget that, just because we see the world in a certain way, we aren't like everyone else. We forget that everyone sees things in their own way. This is especially destructive in autism as I listed above.

Autistics who don't believe they need treatment or cure, automatically assume that no autistic needs treatment or "cure". And I say "cure" very loosely because there isn't one. The same can be said for those who dislike diversity or advocacy. They lose sight of the fact that everyone is different and has different needs. Not everyone has the same intensity of those needs either.

Another example is the eruption of internet flame wars where the slightest difference in base opinion becomes an accusation of being the Anti-Christ and gets accused of criminal bullying on all sides. This erupts in waves of inappropriate behavior to include creating "blacklists", negative blogs, and even direct angry emails. And while all sides shout "bullying", none of them stop. Yes, I realize flame wars are part of any internet meme and I've seen them. I just hadn't ever seen them at this degree before. It's about as volatile as high scale nitro glycerin, and most of the opinions aren't even meant to be insulting, or could just be ignored.

A lot of the internet wars happen because of high sensitivities in all parties. Those same sensitivities are very common in autism.

We need to stop and remember that there is more than one way to be affected by autism. The more we persecute parents over their children (none of anyone's business by the way), people over advocacy, diversity, or wanting disability rights, the worse we all look as a result. None of these beliefs are facist, racist, traitorous, or out to destroy us all. None of them are criminal or wrong.

Someone wants a cure? Let them. No one can force it on you. No one can make you get an abortion either.

Someone wants help for their child? Let them, it's none of your business. And if you are a parent, try worrying about your own kids.

Someone says "neuro-diversity"? Let them. It actually has helped some people and that's a good thing. You don't want it, you don't have to have it or subscribe to it.

We need to stop assuming we know what everyone else should have or do. You know how we hate words like "retarded"? How about "crazy"? Well, I have talked to people who have seen all the behaviors above and they can't see is as anything but "immature" and "crazy" too.

If you want to represent something, make it something helpful, not hateful.

Autistic children and idle hands

Recently, this weekend, my son got up and took very good care of himself without waking us. He got dressed, made himself a toaster waffle (with peanut butter), and then played in his room until we woke up. We thought it was a very "big boy" way of handling himself and we told him so. Just to be clear, my son can wake up very early; far earlier than anyone wants to get up on a weekend. Six A.M. anyone?

We had a great day as well and felt very good about the grown up things he did. The feeling took a nose dive the very next day (this morning).

First, let me take you back to his toddler days. In those days, we had to be very sure we got up before he did or our home would be ransacked. Everything would be pulled out of the refrigerator and dumped on the kitchen floor. Yes EVERYTHING. If he could get to flour and sugar (and the little master climber definitely could) it would join the contents of the fridge. If his pull up/diaper had any contents he would smear them on the walls. We would find him nude and often in the midst of any mess. He would also set our caged pets free (rats at the time). We've found him in many interesting places. Sitting in the rats aquarium or on top of the fridge were just a couple of the more surprising ones. Toddlers will do these things if they are exploring on their own, but it takes an autistic toddler to defy reason or science. When was the last time you found your 2 and half year old on top of your six foot fridge? I rest my case.

Today, we see lapses that seem to take him back to the decisions of his toddler days. No smearing, thank heavens, but bad choices for a 9 year old. Today he decided to sneak desserts for breakfast. Yeah, that's normal kid stuff really. It's when he decided to saw marks on the kitchen cabinets with a steak knife that pinched it for us. This prompted a long talk about knives and what he already knew about them. He did, in his toddler days, play with a knife and cut holes in our bed sheets. I've taught him all about how to stay away from sharp knives and how they are to be respected.

And how did we find out about all this? He gives himself away, believing he will be caught, he spills the beans. He says, "oh I hate myself for what I did" but we don't allow that either.

I know this morning wasn't anywhere near as bad as his toddler days. What I'm looking at (and discussed with him) is the fact that he needs extra supervision and we can't allow ourselves to forget that. I want him to be the big boy who can make his own breakfast, but maybe he's not totally ready for that. I know this is a common point for our spectrum kids. They're just behind a ways really. I look forward to seeing him catch up.

Everyone needs support in autism parenting

The last couple of days have been a rocky ride for me. My own medical conditions have been slapping me around and making it hard to get things done. Still, I have managed a few things and made a decent weekend for a family visit. In recent events, I have found a challenge. Well, it's been there all along, but you may be able to relate.

This challenge is in co-parenting an Asperger's child or any child with special needs. This challenge is support to the child and the other parent. Support has to go in all directions. While that sounds simple in words, the application is anything but.

The most obvious need of support is the child. His difficulties in dealing with the world around him demand it. He has a lot of development to catch up on and the world isn't likely to be forgiving. Half the time, it's definitely not forgiving. One of the lessons recently cited to my son is this: "Our condition is not an excuse to break rules". Discipline can be tricky however thanks to sensory issues. I can't spank him, it will cause a full blown meltdown for hours. Yes, a long long time ago, I was a parent who used spankings. I don't anymore.

Next there is the co-parent, and even more challenging, the step-parent. A step-parent is walking into a whole new world and it's quite an eye opener. For an accurate view on what this is like, please check out my fiance's blog:

http://aspergerblender.wordpress.com/2011/08/08/actions-and-re-actions/

It's more than a little frustrating for both parents in this situation and you have to support each other just as much as you work to support the child. You have to remind each other that it's going to be okay somehow and that each others feelings are valid. The second part of that is actually the most important. It's okay to feel frustrated, you have every right.

I can't tell you how many times I've sat down to explain consequences and behaviors to my son and got reactions that just didn't fit. Many reactions suggested that he never got the message I was trying to deliver. I would have to prod at that time and ask him if he was hearing me. I would have to remind him that I wasn't talking about the fantasy things and needed him to hear me. I often ask him what I'm talking about. Sometimes, for that, he shakes his head hard and get's angry, and says: "I just don't know!" He doesn't like to talk about his behavior.

On another note, he's actually angry with himself and we have to watch out for that one. He'll actually call himself "crazy" and "bad". That's not psychologically healthy either, so has to be intervened. I tell him he's not crazy or bad and that he has behaviors to learn like anyone else his age. I tell him we are just trying to help him learn them and he's not always going to like how that is done. No one does, and everyone has to learn. It's all that can be done at that point.

Yes, therapy is important and support in other places like school is too. But, one the spot, in the moment, this is what you are left with. There's the child's pain because he doesn't understand himself; your own pain and stress from worry; your parenting partner's pain and stress; and worry for each other. What else can you do? See it for what it is, call it like it is, listen to each other and support each other.

Behavior breakthroughs

When your spectrum child has a breakthrough with anywhere in their behaviors, do you praise them? You should. Let me tell you about a breakthrough in my son's behaviors. Panic in unsecured situations is fairly normal for any child. On the spectrum, it takes more to get used to odd situations than for a typical child.

When we left for a Christmas vacation in Louisiana, to spend time with my girlfriend's family, we took off early in the morning. Snow blew heavily and we dealt with treacherous roads to get out of town. We didn't make it out of town for that matter. Ten minutes into our drive we slid into a ditch between and exit road and the highway. We had to be towed out. My son felt panic, naturally and had to be constantly reassured that we would be pulled out by the towtruck we called. We were safely pulled out and on our way with no further incident. The trip was a great success and lots of fun.

A couple weeks ago, we were driving my beat up little Geo Tracker from Oshkosh to Sheboygan. The engine rattled and got quite noisy. Smoke billowed from the rear. We were in trouble and it was dark out. I knew the engine was going, but I had to push it as far as I could. We couldn't be stranded in the cold and the dark. I was sure that Denver would panic and be afraid of trips or something.

Instead, he looked up from his DS he played and said in a matter of fact tone: "Uh oh, we might need a towtruck, Dad." No panic at all.

As luck, fate or Guardian Angel might have it, we managed to get just into the parking lot of a convenience store before we rolled to a stop. We had even coasted with no engine power at all for the last eighty yards or so. My son was able to sit indoors in safety, at a table to play his DS while we waited for the towtruck and my girlfriend to rescue us. I commended my son for his fine handling of himself because he really did do a good job with the situation. Often, situations that are out of our control are our greatest challenges. He did a great job, and I'm very proud of him.

Our high functioning kids (especially them), do have the capability to learn and grow. Watching for those milestones can be uplifting and should be commended.

"I hate your autism."

First,note the quotation marks. I don't actually hate anyone's autism, but you've heard this quote before perhaps. I know I have. It's a quote that reeks of intolerance and lack of education. It can also come from frustration and lack of understanding.

Those of you at my facebook page may remember a question I posted some time back. I asked what readers want to know about autism. One parent posted that he wanted to know how to get rid of autism as soon as possible. He hates his child's autism. Now, I'm trying to address his quote and this reaction in other was rather than be negative and I hope the rest of you take it the same. I believe this man and many parents like him are frustrated and at wits end. They are having a hard time understanding their child and how autism takes affect.

From this point of view, I want to remind you all that there is no cure for autism. Let me repeat that; there is no cure for autism. One more time, there is no cure for autism. At least, not yet.

That being said, the first thing you must understand is that autism is a biological condition, not a psychological one. It has psychological co-effects, not it is not psychological at it's source. Autism is caused by various connections in the brain that are not communicating properly if at all. That's how everything in your body works, you know. Your brain tells your heart to beat, your lungs to take in oxygen and controls how your senses take in information. That's the key here. How your senses take in information shapes how you interact with the world around you.

Some of this can be overcome with years of practice and support. However, autism will be with a person for the rest of their life. There will always be difficulties. The sooner you accept that as a parent, the sooner you can be your child's best coach in how to survive and live with autism. Without that support, especially without your support, your child's future is bound to be uncertain and random.

Another aspect to consider. When someone says to me, "I hate your autism" (and it's happened), it hurts. It hurts especially if this is someone I trusted and let close to me. What a terrible and unfair thing to say. It's even worse if you are a child and a parent says that to you. It's confusing enough to grow up with autism, trying to figure out how to work with the world when your brain won't process things normally. Add emotional turmoil with a parents disapproval and it's much worse. It's not the child's fault they have autism. They can't wad it up and toss it in the trash for you. As it is, children with autism have a tendency to take things very personally and literally. You may as well come right out and say you hate them personally. They are likely to take it that way.

It's important to learn all you can about autism and how to teach your child how to live with it. You have to know that this process will last their entire childhood to the rest of their natural life. Be part of their lives. Autism is not the end.

Autism and phobias

Spider in a web

A phobia is an irrational fear of a specific "thing" or group of "things". For example, arachnophobia is an irrational fear of spiders. A person with this fear, upon seeing a spider, may go into hysterics or run from the room until the spider is removed.

High sensitivities in autism can trigger phobias so far as I have read. It makes sense. And currently my son is having trouble in this area. He is already skittish around animals. If they move towards him, especially before he feels absolutely ready, he will run away or at least move away a few feet. He is the very most afraid of dogs, bees and spiders. This year, with prime bug season going strong, I have seen an amplification of this.

I know that having something buzzing around my face drives my senses crazy. I can't help but do everything I can to get it away from me. So I understand how that must be sending him into a tizzy. Fear of being hurt plays a large role as well as his need for things around him to be predictable. Animals, without a great deal of experience, are not predictable.

We've had two occassions of screaming hysterics with climbing me like a tree in order to escape in just the last 7 days. One was with a small dog that was behind a tree and surprised us. But it was friendly and no one was hurt. The lady who owned it felt terrible. And the other was this morning with a bee outside.

I feel awful about how he must be feeling, but what can I do other than try to coach and comfort? Whenever we meet a nice dog, we try to meet it and get him a positive experience. He wants to, but is afraid. He has had two very bad experiences with small dogs that play into this. Teaching him how to deal with bees is a little harder. Heck, I don't like them myself.

All of this is making it hard for him to enjoy going out to play. The parks are full of flying bugs of all sorts. Dragonflies have been out in clouds over the beaches. Amazing to see actually. But you can't tell him they won't do anything to him. They fly around our heads in that unpredictable fashion and it freaks him out. Even large flies right now, that are hard to discern from bees will get this reaction. That's just how deep this goes.

I just hope I can help him get over this phase and to feeling more confident around animals. No one likes to see their child terrified. How about you? Is your child on the spectrum dealing with phobias?

Autism checklist for your child in school

So here we are at a new school year. This means new routines and people are coming into your child's life. Not only should you be preparing and discussing with your child, these new events and changes, but you should be doing things to make sure that his or her education team is all on the same page.

One way of doing this is to make a personalized check list for your child and all their quirks or behaviors. It's kind of like a list of forewarning and notice of various behaviors that anyone who works with your child are going to see.

The idea is to help others not be so surprised when your child with autism or any other disorder does something out of the ordinary.

Things to list:

-reactions to sensory, students, frustrations, and any sudden changes.

-behaviors of any kind that are habitual to your child and when they might come about.

-how long it might take to get into school routine

-how to handle outbursts and redirect your child in ways that you have seen work the best.

I'm sure with this list you can see the possibilities of what you can point out to help your child's educational team. And that's what they need to be along with you, a team. This is a short blog, but I think many of you will find it quite helpful.

A couple of tips in writing this list.

-write it like a "list" as I've done with the little dash marks here. It's easier to read than a giant block of paragraph text.

-check spelling and use your word processor. Avoid hand writing it if you can.

-be sure to request that a copy of the list is given to everyone who will be working with your child.