Monday, November 26, 2012
Haters Gonna Hate, Time to Start Laughing
Recently there have been some interesting accusations brought to my attention and I almost blew my iced tea right out my nose. Yeah, I laughed that hard.
Many of you out there are likely trying to build yourselves and make a good life for yourselves. You may be artists, writers, advocates, or any other thing really. What you need to know is that someone is always going to come along and try to take the wind out of your sails. Why do they feel the need? Who or what are you to them? Here's what you need to remember: these are unhappy people. They are jealous of every single thing that anyone else around them does or succeeds at. They have nothing better to do than spread lies and drama and try to bring other people down. Instead of just living good and taking pride in their own achievements, they have to bring other people down.
Allow me to give you some recent examples but first: I am an advocate for autism education, a writer and illustrator. I have bridged these from time to time in order to show support for people with autism and to educate. Just because I have autism (and yes other medical conditions) doesn't mean I can't do anything. The same goes for you. Anyway:
Accusation: Never diagnosed as autistic. This is what made me spew tea today. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (explained as a high functioning form of autism and still accepted that way by every doctor I talk to today) right after my son was diagnosed. This person is someone that I have never met in person; doesn't live anywhere that I have lived; doesn't know any of my doctors; and has no access what-so-ever to any of my medical history as in the actual medical files. Hello, HIIPA anyone? They weren't there as I was diagnosed. They witnessed me in real life. Most importantly this person is not a doctor. I think some far out imaginations are at work here. Maybe they dreamed that they talked to all my doctors and got certified copies of everything I was ever diagnosed with. Ah, but then they wake up. How does this person even get close to such a ridiculous leap (other than being a bold faced liar)? Well, here's the main excuse:
- has other medical conditions: Apparently there's a special law in the fabrics of reality that says you can only have one psychological medical condition. Well someone get me a lawyer! I want to sue the universe for not following it's own law! Well, while this seems to be a brand new surprise to my haters, medical science seems to have known about it for decades now. You can absolutely have more than one condition. There are scales of details and factors that go with it, but hey, I'm not the doctor here. You can have bipolar disorder, Asperger's, a TBI and MS all at the same time. I know this, because I live with it. Ah, but this person thinks that if I were seen by a doctor today I would lose the autism diagnosis. What Hater doesn't realize is that I've been under a doctors care (getting MRI's and such) for quite some time. Not only have I not lost any diagnosis but my doctors have no question about them and they have all my records. So that's that. I have been diagnosed officially every step of the way, end of story.
Accusation: Trying to use autism to sell to people: Say wha? You know, while there are people out there who demand that you pay attention to what they do because of a medical condition, not everyone is like that. The only reason that I point out my autism or my son's with my work (as posted on my blogs) is because what I'm doing now is my way of overcoming my conditions. The message is meant to be that I am not sitting in a corner going "boo hoo, I have medical conditions and I'm helpless in life" rather just the opposite. I don't want anyone to say "well, he has autism so we better buy his books and art". I would hate that. I would prefer people buy what I have for the sake of what it is. Hater seems to think that everyone is affected the same way by autism and that's not true. There are a lot of people who are having a hard time in life who aren't sure if they can make it. My message is for them. Past that, I support autism education and I'm proud of that. I want what I do to always support autism and mental illness and education for it. For every person that I help to find answers or ease their suffering because of what I do... that's a great success to me. I have outright donated my work for free for just that purpose. So I have stuff for sale, big deal. Some of it is for sale for my own use anyway.
Accusation: Trying to use autism to publish books: Now if I laugh any harder I'm going to have a migraine. But hold on, let me share something about this hater with you. This one has published several books on and through Amazon. I don't want to knock that because who knows, I might try that one day too. But here's the cold hard fact about self publishing through Amazon. Anyone can do it. I mean anyone! No agent, no editor, no acceptance process except maybe for age range, you just put your book on Amazon and make some selections for covers and stuff. Then BANG! you're published. From what I know this is the only way this person has ever published anything (not that it's a bad thing). I would prefer not to go the self publishing route myself but that's just me. Now, if you go and start researching agents and consider sending them a query about your work, you might notice they want to know if you've been published. I can't tell you how many times I've seen the words "not on Amazon or internet self publishing". That's because anyone and their dog can publish this way with complete abandon. That's also not to say that there are no good authors on Amazon, I actually know of a couple who are pretty good. All that being said, back to the point of the accusation, the idea that I could sway any self respecting agent with "I have autism" is ludicrous at best. For that matter, it's just flat stupid. And yes, this hater likes to bash away at my work as well.
Special note: I have not read any of this writer's work, nor will I. And why should I? Would you feel like buying anything from someone who targets you like this? I wouldn't.
So, there you have it. Now, while I wrote this all out, I want you to know that I've done this for the good of the reader. Your haters don't deserve your time. They'll call you a fraud, smear you, tell lies, and you'll think they must sit up all night long hunched over books trying to dig for dirt and mud. They'll say you have not talent and try with all their might to belittle and degrade you. Don't let them. I think they've read too many tabloids and believe every word. Don't let them stop you. Don't let them become your demon that gets in the way of your goals. Here's a very important note:
You do not owe these people anything. You do not have to prove yourself to some hater who really doesn't know you close enough to be accurate about you in the first place. It doesn't matter if you are a writer, artist, or just an at home parent. It doesn't matter if you have a medical condition or not. If you are an advocate and trying to help others, then help them. You'll be ahead of the game while haters waste obsession on you instead of their own lives. These haters are laughable and don't deserve anything from you.
And one final chuckle. I was called an "avid reader" of one hater's blog. Hilarious. Just because you look at a page (legal documentation reasons) doesn't make you an "avid" anything.