Friday, May 8, 2009
Living Autistic: Learning Comprehension
Back in my school days, I hated math. Not only did I hate math, I hated story problems even more. To this day, I can do math but it gives me a headache if I do too much of it. I often think that my brain simply doesn't want anything to do with numbers. Now, reading and writing I like. I get along great with that, but that's just me. When it comes down to our comprehension in school as students, we have to stop and take a look at how we are wired with our autism or other conditions. It's fairly commonplace that we have learning difficulties. Our comprehension is generally at the top of the list. Comprehension is how well we understand information that we take in. If that information is muddled by our senses going awry or because we are weak in the subject matter, we have a hard time. So how do we fix this? Patience is a virtue and practice makes perfect. You may also have to get a bit creative. When handling something we are having trouble understanding we need to slow down. Frustration makes the ol' brain spin faster and compounds confusion. So take a pause and let the student catch his breath for a second, then reapply a little more slowly. Especially for math in my humble opinion. Break the problem into pieces and take each one to the student and then bring it all together again. In reading comprehension, take the story small parts at a time. Ask questions. "What do you think Harry will do next?" "Do you think Harry throwing the rock was a good idea?" Use visual aides, especially for math in my humble opinion.I've used dice and other small objects to help my son with math. When I read him a story or he reads a story I ask him questions about it. If there's a weak subject, I plut extra time into it.For a weak subject, you can put extra time into it without too much effort. For reading you can simply point out words as you go about your business and ask him what they say. You may have to pause for a moment while he sounds out the world or help a little bit, but enough of the attempts will sink in. Point out activity in pictures and ask about events in them. What's going to happen next? What is that person doing? These are comprehension skills and, while small, they add up. The same goes for numbers. Go grocery shopping and ask about how many cans of soup you just put in the cart. Have him count them. Show him prices on the shelves. Numbers are everywhere, use them. It's really important that teachers and parents are in the same boat when applying these skills so everyone knows what needs to be worked on. Be involved in your child's education, up close and personal.This certainly does't guarantee that comprehension problems will go away, but if you don't work on them, you guarantee they never will.
My Father, the passing of a Legend
I remember a cold and frightening Christmas day. I think it was 1982. I was twelve and we were all having a find time opening presents. My little sister got a pair of plastic skates and felt quite a hurry needed to open them. My little brother wanted things open to, so my father felt a bit hurried and momentarily forgot the importance of knife safety. He slipped and plunged the nearly three inch blade into his right upper and inside thigh. I had gone into the kitchen to do the morning dishes when he came in and landed on the tile floor. He ordered me to find his belt in the master bedroom and bring it to him. Time was priceless and seconds meant life. He was bleeding out. My stepmother ran around the house in sheer panic and I stopped halfway down the hall. I realized that I was never very good and finding things when sent for them and discovered that I had a faster way. So I bolted back to the kitchen and took off my own belt. He instructed me on where to put it and to pull it tight with all my strength. I thought I was going to break it, but it held. A neighbor drove my father to the hospital at break neck speeds. I later learned that if I had gone to search for that other belt, he would not have lived. As it was he almost lost his leg, but live he did, leg and all. Nicking the femeral artery really isn't enough to take down my father anyway. As of April 2, 2009; it took the combo of two forms of cancer with complications from Agent Orange to take him from us. Yes, he is gone, but certainly never to be forgotten.
My father served his country in Vietnam, one of the cruelest wars in history. If you saw him, you might be surprised that they let him jump out of planes and helicopters. I'm 5'11 and stood a full head taller than he by my teens. They weren't going to let him jump either. They told him he was too small and too light to bring a parachute down effectively in combat. Well, he wouldn't hear of that and forced the issue. His lead drill instructor finally got tired of it all and issued him a challenge. Back in those days, military training got away with a lot more than now. He told my father, if he could beat his platoon's largest man in hand to hand combat, he would make him a paratrooper that day. The story goes on to add that the largest man in his platoon spent ten days in the infirmary.
On March 6, 1967 he jumped out of a helicopter into Warzone D for Operation Silver City. He survived a 4 hour grueling battle that went all the way to over an hour of hand to hand combat. I don't know how many missions he went on, but I do know the tales they told of him long after he came home.
His platoon earned eight Presidential Citations before their tour was finished. They were heroes, all of them. Dad came home a decorated soldier with those citations, purple hearts, bronze and silver stars. He earned them each in blood and honor.
My father operated the platoon radio. Because of his size, he got elected for a few other jobs too. One in particular killed many a brave soldier as the most deadly job of all; the tunnel rat. Enemy soldiers liked to hide in narrow underground tunnels laced with booby traps, explosives, snakes, scorpions, spiders and rats. Reports suggest that the tunnels were too small for a rifle and uncontrolled pistol fire could discharge hidden explosives. That meant that the preferred weapon for the tunnel rat was a knife. So my father descended into these deadly narrow tunnels to dismantle explosives and traps and kill enemy soldiers while trying not to upset the native wildlife (or it would kill him). He did this over and over again, for his fellow soldiers and his country. My father looked Death in the eye socket, shook its bony hand and said: "You'll have to catch me later, I have work to do."
When his platoon got bored they mounted 50 calibur machine guns through the noses of helicopters so that the pilots could do some shooting with the rest of them. They took apart cases of Claymore mines and packed the c4 in the bottoms of three oil barrels. They filled those barrels in with concertina wire, scrap metal and bullets. Then they set them out and waited for an enemy platoon they were told was going to pass them. The blast erased the enemy platoon and enough foliage and trees to play some football.
My father cared alot about those he defended. On one day he avenged a small child from after a sniper's bullet took his little life. The boy had just been praising American soldiers for coming to his village in a time of need. It was the last thing that sniper ever did.
At the very worst of it all, enemy soldiers caught him and his companions on a patrol. They wanted the radio codes and killed all of his friends to try and force my father to hand them over. Not only did he refuse, but when one of his captors sat too close to his little bamboo cage, he killed them all and escaped with the remains of his fallen brothers. The story says that he wandered the jungle for two days before walking into an Australian encampment.
For duty, honor, and all of us, my father went where angels fear to tread.
When he got home, he took leadership of a motorcycle brotherhood for veterans called, The Screaming Eagles. Thats about when I came along (1970). These men were larger than life and did things you would only see on TV. Yes, they were crazy things, but amazing too.
My father always taught others and was generous with his advice. Not only that, but he was usually right. Everyone knew they could count on John Wilde for just about anything at all. He knew how to fix things and do things that most people never thought of. I guess that's why he became an aerospace engineer.
He was a man of teaching. He taught me the first steps of how to defend myself and started me in the martial arts. He taught me strategic thinking with a chessboard from around age 4. He's the reason I became a survivor instead of a suicide statistic.
He was a man of accomplishment. He saved the aerospace industry millions of dollars. When the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded, he was one of the men who showed them how to fix it, so it wouldn't happen again.
He always tried his hardest when it came to his family. All he ever really wanted was for all of us to be happy.
I know I've told you how my stepmother abused me and I finally left home at age 14. That's all true, and my father lived with years of guilt as a result. I'm so glad I got the chance to tell him that I held nothing against him. I wanted him to know that I did not consider him at fault. For that matter I made it to the good places in my life because of what he taught me. I know it didn't look like it sank in, but it did. Not everyone gets that chance, so I am thankful for it.
Everything I put up with through those hard times, I did for my father. I hold him at fault for nothing.
It is my prayer that he be escorted to a reward in Heaven by Jesus Christ himself and that angels look after his needs. May he find himself at peace, finally.
Don't worry about me, Dad. I'm forging forward like you taught me. You go on now, I know you'll be a legend on the other side.
My father served his country in Vietnam, one of the cruelest wars in history. If you saw him, you might be surprised that they let him jump out of planes and helicopters. I'm 5'11 and stood a full head taller than he by my teens. They weren't going to let him jump either. They told him he was too small and too light to bring a parachute down effectively in combat. Well, he wouldn't hear of that and forced the issue. His lead drill instructor finally got tired of it all and issued him a challenge. Back in those days, military training got away with a lot more than now. He told my father, if he could beat his platoon's largest man in hand to hand combat, he would make him a paratrooper that day. The story goes on to add that the largest man in his platoon spent ten days in the infirmary.
On March 6, 1967 he jumped out of a helicopter into Warzone D for Operation Silver City. He survived a 4 hour grueling battle that went all the way to over an hour of hand to hand combat. I don't know how many missions he went on, but I do know the tales they told of him long after he came home.
His platoon earned eight Presidential Citations before their tour was finished. They were heroes, all of them. Dad came home a decorated soldier with those citations, purple hearts, bronze and silver stars. He earned them each in blood and honor.
My father operated the platoon radio. Because of his size, he got elected for a few other jobs too. One in particular killed many a brave soldier as the most deadly job of all; the tunnel rat. Enemy soldiers liked to hide in narrow underground tunnels laced with booby traps, explosives, snakes, scorpions, spiders and rats. Reports suggest that the tunnels were too small for a rifle and uncontrolled pistol fire could discharge hidden explosives. That meant that the preferred weapon for the tunnel rat was a knife. So my father descended into these deadly narrow tunnels to dismantle explosives and traps and kill enemy soldiers while trying not to upset the native wildlife (or it would kill him). He did this over and over again, for his fellow soldiers and his country. My father looked Death in the eye socket, shook its bony hand and said: "You'll have to catch me later, I have work to do."
When his platoon got bored they mounted 50 calibur machine guns through the noses of helicopters so that the pilots could do some shooting with the rest of them. They took apart cases of Claymore mines and packed the c4 in the bottoms of three oil barrels. They filled those barrels in with concertina wire, scrap metal and bullets. Then they set them out and waited for an enemy platoon they were told was going to pass them. The blast erased the enemy platoon and enough foliage and trees to play some football.
My father cared alot about those he defended. On one day he avenged a small child from after a sniper's bullet took his little life. The boy had just been praising American soldiers for coming to his village in a time of need. It was the last thing that sniper ever did.
At the very worst of it all, enemy soldiers caught him and his companions on a patrol. They wanted the radio codes and killed all of his friends to try and force my father to hand them over. Not only did he refuse, but when one of his captors sat too close to his little bamboo cage, he killed them all and escaped with the remains of his fallen brothers. The story says that he wandered the jungle for two days before walking into an Australian encampment.
For duty, honor, and all of us, my father went where angels fear to tread.
When he got home, he took leadership of a motorcycle brotherhood for veterans called, The Screaming Eagles. Thats about when I came along (1970). These men were larger than life and did things you would only see on TV. Yes, they were crazy things, but amazing too.
My father always taught others and was generous with his advice. Not only that, but he was usually right. Everyone knew they could count on John Wilde for just about anything at all. He knew how to fix things and do things that most people never thought of. I guess that's why he became an aerospace engineer.
He was a man of teaching. He taught me the first steps of how to defend myself and started me in the martial arts. He taught me strategic thinking with a chessboard from around age 4. He's the reason I became a survivor instead of a suicide statistic.
He was a man of accomplishment. He saved the aerospace industry millions of dollars. When the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded, he was one of the men who showed them how to fix it, so it wouldn't happen again.
He always tried his hardest when it came to his family. All he ever really wanted was for all of us to be happy.
I know I've told you how my stepmother abused me and I finally left home at age 14. That's all true, and my father lived with years of guilt as a result. I'm so glad I got the chance to tell him that I held nothing against him. I wanted him to know that I did not consider him at fault. For that matter I made it to the good places in my life because of what he taught me. I know it didn't look like it sank in, but it did. Not everyone gets that chance, so I am thankful for it.
Everything I put up with through those hard times, I did for my father. I hold him at fault for nothing.
It is my prayer that he be escorted to a reward in Heaven by Jesus Christ himself and that angels look after his needs. May he find himself at peace, finally.
Don't worry about me, Dad. I'm forging forward like you taught me. You go on now, I know you'll be a legend on the other side.
Living Autistic: Taste and Texture
No where else in our bodies is there such a combination of our senses than the mouth. Taste works in tangent with smell and then we add textures felt with our sensitive tongues. How does this affect autistic living? Remember that most to all of our senses are heightened in various areas of sensitivity. That means that we are still going to have different likes and dislikes amongst each other. We will, however, be able to taste and feel things in foods that a typical person will miss. We will also be excessively sensitive in our like or dislike of those experiences.
I hate liver. I hate it's dry dusty feel and I have trouble putting a word to it's flavor. I really don't like lima beans either because they turn into a mouth drying silt as you eat them. I don't enjoy anything that's going to dry my mouth out, but there are some that I manage my way around because I can add to them. Turkey and pot roast fall into that category, and yes, I know they can be prepped to be less dry too. Then there's raspberries. I get a bad after taste from them that lingers and annoys me.
When it comes to our autistic kids and eating we can have quite a challenge. Always encourage trying the new foods, at least a good bite. Approach with all new things gently as they area always a threat to routine, at first. If you can put trying new things into the routine, you may find yourself with a demand for something new on a regular basis. I've seen it happen.
The bottom line to new foods with your child in autism is trial and error. It doesn't really matter why they don't like it, if you can get them to try. Is it texture or flavor? I find that may be trying to dig too deep for your own peace of mind. Keep it simple, like or don't like, and move on.
The flip side of our interesting taste and texture sensitivies is a strange set of behaviors where our children put odd things in their mouths. With sensory disorders, a person may find very strange or inedible things quite tasty. I knew of one child who ate toilet paper. She liked the texture as it touched her tongue and apparently the flavor of paper was desirable after that. Reports are abundant on strange eating practices. Some are dangerous and require intervention. Some are fairly harmless and can be reasoned out with time. Some even require treatment or heavily controlled environment.
I think it's safe to say from my own experiences, that handling two senses like that at once has a profound effect on our likes and dislikes with things we eat. It also affects behavior and reactions. I encourage you, though, not to just take the safe path and only make the same foods over and over again. That will only lend to rigidity in social settings with food as they grow.
I hate liver. I hate it's dry dusty feel and I have trouble putting a word to it's flavor. I really don't like lima beans either because they turn into a mouth drying silt as you eat them. I don't enjoy anything that's going to dry my mouth out, but there are some that I manage my way around because I can add to them. Turkey and pot roast fall into that category, and yes, I know they can be prepped to be less dry too. Then there's raspberries. I get a bad after taste from them that lingers and annoys me.
When it comes to our autistic kids and eating we can have quite a challenge. Always encourage trying the new foods, at least a good bite. Approach with all new things gently as they area always a threat to routine, at first. If you can put trying new things into the routine, you may find yourself with a demand for something new on a regular basis. I've seen it happen.
The bottom line to new foods with your child in autism is trial and error. It doesn't really matter why they don't like it, if you can get them to try. Is it texture or flavor? I find that may be trying to dig too deep for your own peace of mind. Keep it simple, like or don't like, and move on.
The flip side of our interesting taste and texture sensitivies is a strange set of behaviors where our children put odd things in their mouths. With sensory disorders, a person may find very strange or inedible things quite tasty. I knew of one child who ate toilet paper. She liked the texture as it touched her tongue and apparently the flavor of paper was desirable after that. Reports are abundant on strange eating practices. Some are dangerous and require intervention. Some are fairly harmless and can be reasoned out with time. Some even require treatment or heavily controlled environment.
I think it's safe to say from my own experiences, that handling two senses like that at once has a profound effect on our likes and dislikes with things we eat. It also affects behavior and reactions. I encourage you, though, not to just take the safe path and only make the same foods over and over again. That will only lend to rigidity in social settings with food as they grow.
Living Against the Clock
I often imagine that there is a little timer in the right side of my forehead. This timer lets me know how much I can do in a single day. Light activities don't do too much to it, but are still limited. Heavier activities push the clock faster and cause me to need rest quicker. To look at me, you might never know this except that I am explaining it today. Physically, most of my body is pretty sound. I'm a bit out of shape and overweight, but I have lost some recently and working slowly on more. I can actually lift a hundred pounds of weight. If I do, however, there will be consequences. I may faint dead away or at least get really dizzy and have to put the weight down quickly.
Why do I have such a problem? In that spot on my forehead is a cluster of severely damaged nerves. Behind that is a likely some form of brain damage that doens't show up on MRI's or Scans, but it's there alright. It's actually fairly common for several forms of brain damage not to show up on conventional scanning tests. The nerves cause actual pain and the damage with the nerves brings on dizziness and danger of fainting if I over exert myself. On top of that, I have sleep apnea and that shortens the timer even more on random days. I am working on dealing with that, but first...
Why do I have such damage? This is actually one of the most embarrassing things I deal with in my life but I am going to talk about it, because I'm not the only person who has had to deal with it. Under high stress, many autistics are at risk of a type of seizure that gets caused by sensory overload along with too much external stress (including anger). This kind of seizure causes violent outbursts of self damage. Common actions are head butting against walls and floors, self punching, flailing wildly, throwing all objects within reach, lashing out with arms and legs, etc. Some patients have them so sporadically they have to wear a helmet for the rest of their lives. You may have rarely seen one of these people. Yes, I am saying that I suffer from this condition of autism.
So what happens to me? First, it's not for the weak of stomach and it's absolutely horrifying to all who witness as well as myself. I dont actually get to remember much of the outburst if it happens, but once it happens I am powerless against it. I will ball up my fists and relentlessly slam them against my head until I drop from sheer exhaustion or pass out from the hitting. I will completely lose all awareness of the world around me. Fortunately I am restrainable at the wrists, but the storm going on in my mind is still absolutely devastating. I will get flashing images and flashbacks from abuse long in the past and the rage will be so very intense that I will turn beet red. As it passes I may or may not remain concsious for very long. I will require bedrest and that may be for the rest of the day.
Because I've had these episodes since I was around 6 years old (now 38), there's practically no way that there isn't permanent damage. I feel it, and I know it's there. There's also permanent damage in my wrists, such as carpal tunnel. In the beginning I would have these episodes as much as three times a week. My parents ignored them because they thought I was just a brat. Other episodes I actually was able to hide, because I felt them coming on. I would go and hide in my closet or somewhere no one could see me until it was over. I was so scared and knew that no one would help me. Of course that's not true today.
I haven't had an episode for nearly a year because I now know how to stop them. I do this with early intervention techniques. When I'm getting overloaded or overstressed, I remove myself from the situation and go to my "safe spot". I turn up a fan to full blast and lie down in my bed with a large overstuffed pillow. I squeeze that pillow for all it's worth. I will still have some pain and flashing, but no violence. Then I will pass out for an hour or so. I wake up revitalized and ready to take on the world again.
So, because of the permanent damage, I live on a low battery every day. The harder I push myself, the faster that timer or battery goes down. If I push myself hard enough, all at once, I will collapse. So I have to pace myself every single day, even though I don't look disabled in this way at a glance. I can tell you that I have been judged more than once on the subject. It makes me very nervous to explain it. But I have come to a point where I see the need for the education because other kids are coming up in the autism spectrum with this condition.
It's important to communicate with your child and watch for this condition in order to save them from serious damage in the future. Brain damage is easier to get than most realize.
Things I have to avoid: over exertion, too much stress, and heat.Signs that I will have to rest soon: walking with my cane and jerking body movements such as my head, arms or legs.
I'm also on medication to control my conditions and own them, so they don't own me. And that is why I live against the clock, every day. I write this information with the hopes that others out there know that they are not alone and to demonstrate that I am a good person and a safe person, with a little help from friends and family and a strong living protocol.
As always, I am open for requests and questions. If you know of something in abuse, autism, or disorders that you would like to know about, let me know. I'll research and do my best to put up an informative blog on the subject.
Why do I have such a problem? In that spot on my forehead is a cluster of severely damaged nerves. Behind that is a likely some form of brain damage that doens't show up on MRI's or Scans, but it's there alright. It's actually fairly common for several forms of brain damage not to show up on conventional scanning tests. The nerves cause actual pain and the damage with the nerves brings on dizziness and danger of fainting if I over exert myself. On top of that, I have sleep apnea and that shortens the timer even more on random days. I am working on dealing with that, but first...
Why do I have such damage? This is actually one of the most embarrassing things I deal with in my life but I am going to talk about it, because I'm not the only person who has had to deal with it. Under high stress, many autistics are at risk of a type of seizure that gets caused by sensory overload along with too much external stress (including anger). This kind of seizure causes violent outbursts of self damage. Common actions are head butting against walls and floors, self punching, flailing wildly, throwing all objects within reach, lashing out with arms and legs, etc. Some patients have them so sporadically they have to wear a helmet for the rest of their lives. You may have rarely seen one of these people. Yes, I am saying that I suffer from this condition of autism.
So what happens to me? First, it's not for the weak of stomach and it's absolutely horrifying to all who witness as well as myself. I dont actually get to remember much of the outburst if it happens, but once it happens I am powerless against it. I will ball up my fists and relentlessly slam them against my head until I drop from sheer exhaustion or pass out from the hitting. I will completely lose all awareness of the world around me. Fortunately I am restrainable at the wrists, but the storm going on in my mind is still absolutely devastating. I will get flashing images and flashbacks from abuse long in the past and the rage will be so very intense that I will turn beet red. As it passes I may or may not remain concsious for very long. I will require bedrest and that may be for the rest of the day.
Because I've had these episodes since I was around 6 years old (now 38), there's practically no way that there isn't permanent damage. I feel it, and I know it's there. There's also permanent damage in my wrists, such as carpal tunnel. In the beginning I would have these episodes as much as three times a week. My parents ignored them because they thought I was just a brat. Other episodes I actually was able to hide, because I felt them coming on. I would go and hide in my closet or somewhere no one could see me until it was over. I was so scared and knew that no one would help me. Of course that's not true today.
I haven't had an episode for nearly a year because I now know how to stop them. I do this with early intervention techniques. When I'm getting overloaded or overstressed, I remove myself from the situation and go to my "safe spot". I turn up a fan to full blast and lie down in my bed with a large overstuffed pillow. I squeeze that pillow for all it's worth. I will still have some pain and flashing, but no violence. Then I will pass out for an hour or so. I wake up revitalized and ready to take on the world again.
So, because of the permanent damage, I live on a low battery every day. The harder I push myself, the faster that timer or battery goes down. If I push myself hard enough, all at once, I will collapse. So I have to pace myself every single day, even though I don't look disabled in this way at a glance. I can tell you that I have been judged more than once on the subject. It makes me very nervous to explain it. But I have come to a point where I see the need for the education because other kids are coming up in the autism spectrum with this condition.
It's important to communicate with your child and watch for this condition in order to save them from serious damage in the future. Brain damage is easier to get than most realize.
Things I have to avoid: over exertion, too much stress, and heat.Signs that I will have to rest soon: walking with my cane and jerking body movements such as my head, arms or legs.
I'm also on medication to control my conditions and own them, so they don't own me. And that is why I live against the clock, every day. I write this information with the hopes that others out there know that they are not alone and to demonstrate that I am a good person and a safe person, with a little help from friends and family and a strong living protocol.
As always, I am open for requests and questions. If you know of something in abuse, autism, or disorders that you would like to know about, let me know. I'll research and do my best to put up an informative blog on the subject.
Proprioceptive Senses and Autism
We all know our five senses; hearing, taste, touch, sight, and smell. We've also discussed how a person with autism often has almost all senses constantly out of control, yielding to sensory overloads that must be handled carefully and gently. I've recently gained a new insight and learning that I must share with you. It's about the sense we never think about. Two of them in particular stand out with the autistic and they are called proprioceptive and vestibular senses.
Our proprioceptive (broken up: pro-prio-ceptive) sense is our perception of movement and spatial orientation. It tells us the tension of our muscles and our rate of movement as we run or walk. It also tells us where are limbs are at when we move around so we don't smash into things all the time. If this sense is off, then you will have trouble directing where your arms and legs go. You'll be constantly off balance and very clumsy and misdirected.
Our Vestibular sense is actually made up of billions of receptors in our muscles and internal organs. They give us a sense of gravitational acceleration if we fall or jump off of something. It also gives us a sense of velocity in our heads.
These introceptive senses our what give us sensations of pain or pleasure. They tell us about the stretching of our internal organs. Without these sense, you wouldn't know if your stomach was full from lunch or if you needed to empty your bladder.
These are our internal senses and they are just as out of control and without filtering as our external senses. That, or we may have trouble sensing some of them at all, because of senses that overshadow them and drown them out like too much noise.
These are senses that cause autistics to have extreme difficulty working with their environment. It makes it hard for a people to control themselves. Minor annoyances to a typical person may as well be full lights and sirens for the autistic. And when that's happening to those internal senses, your world spins into chaos. Then, since you have trouble communicating how you feel, you get frustration, an emotional sense. All that does is put more weight on the camel's back. You can see how all of this at once can be overbearing. Next stop, full overload and a fit unlike anything you've ever seen.
That's from the "pain" aspect, but what about pleasure? Ever see an autistic child run in circles or jump off things over and over again? Remember how those receptors affect those feelings of velocity and falling? What if you found those feelings to be highly enjoyable? Since their amplified, they are highly distracting and everyone wants to feel good right? Exactly. Because of the intensity, anything that feels good like that is hard to deny. You may as well consider them addicted to it. That's with any of our external senses as well. When something feels that good, you want to do it over and over again. It's like having a rollercoaster ride in your head and its FUN!
As we grow and change, our likes and dislikes change just like anyone else. That's why, eventually, children that engage in feces play, thankfully stop doing it. They develope to a point that their interest in textures and feelings shift. It's even possible for them to stop wanting to run in circles.
Another sense I feel I should mention is our sense of depth perception and distance. When you throw and object and train your eye on it, you get a perception of how far and fast it is going. This can cause a reaction in your internal senses. It can be interesting enough to overactive senses to make one want to throw things all the time. Consider that next time your child pitches and object across the room for no specific reason (that you can see). I hope you found this view of our senses eye opening, pun intended.
Our proprioceptive (broken up: pro-prio-ceptive) sense is our perception of movement and spatial orientation. It tells us the tension of our muscles and our rate of movement as we run or walk. It also tells us where are limbs are at when we move around so we don't smash into things all the time. If this sense is off, then you will have trouble directing where your arms and legs go. You'll be constantly off balance and very clumsy and misdirected.
Our Vestibular sense is actually made up of billions of receptors in our muscles and internal organs. They give us a sense of gravitational acceleration if we fall or jump off of something. It also gives us a sense of velocity in our heads.
These introceptive senses our what give us sensations of pain or pleasure. They tell us about the stretching of our internal organs. Without these sense, you wouldn't know if your stomach was full from lunch or if you needed to empty your bladder.
These are our internal senses and they are just as out of control and without filtering as our external senses. That, or we may have trouble sensing some of them at all, because of senses that overshadow them and drown them out like too much noise.
These are senses that cause autistics to have extreme difficulty working with their environment. It makes it hard for a people to control themselves. Minor annoyances to a typical person may as well be full lights and sirens for the autistic. And when that's happening to those internal senses, your world spins into chaos. Then, since you have trouble communicating how you feel, you get frustration, an emotional sense. All that does is put more weight on the camel's back. You can see how all of this at once can be overbearing. Next stop, full overload and a fit unlike anything you've ever seen.
That's from the "pain" aspect, but what about pleasure? Ever see an autistic child run in circles or jump off things over and over again? Remember how those receptors affect those feelings of velocity and falling? What if you found those feelings to be highly enjoyable? Since their amplified, they are highly distracting and everyone wants to feel good right? Exactly. Because of the intensity, anything that feels good like that is hard to deny. You may as well consider them addicted to it. That's with any of our external senses as well. When something feels that good, you want to do it over and over again. It's like having a rollercoaster ride in your head and its FUN!
As we grow and change, our likes and dislikes change just like anyone else. That's why, eventually, children that engage in feces play, thankfully stop doing it. They develope to a point that their interest in textures and feelings shift. It's even possible for them to stop wanting to run in circles.
Another sense I feel I should mention is our sense of depth perception and distance. When you throw and object and train your eye on it, you get a perception of how far and fast it is going. This can cause a reaction in your internal senses. It can be interesting enough to overactive senses to make one want to throw things all the time. Consider that next time your child pitches and object across the room for no specific reason (that you can see). I hope you found this view of our senses eye opening, pun intended.
Disciplining Autistic Children
I was recently asked what I thought about discipline and children with autism. The first point I should make, is the lower the function of the child, the harder it is to make discipline work. I can work, however. Again, I put my research skills to the test in order to be of the most help I can be to any who read my blogs.
The first order of business is to address corporal punishement. Hitting doesn't work, I can tell you that from seeing in person. Yes, spanking is still hitting and we work hard to teach them not to hit, so all you do is mess with their heads and they take it straight to the heart. They will take it most personally and you're better off, just not doing that. Yes, I have given my son with autism a swift swat on the bottom, but it never gets any message across other than it's a mean thing to do. So lets leave spanking by the wayside.
Remember my last blog on socializing your child. Social stories also do a lot to help learn proper behaviors around the home. For that matter, most of what I put in that blog can help here. Yet the question remains, if you must use punishment, what do you use?
It's going to take a lot of time and practice, but there are methods of discipline that can be used with autism.
Time out: You bet, time out can still be a very effective measure, but the time you use is much much shorter in span. With most children, you set a time out spot that is safe and NOT scary and the child must stay in that spot quietly for one minute per year of age. With autism, the attention span is harder to control, so you go by a much shorter span of time. For example, at 3 and 4 years of age, we only went for about 20 to 30 seconds and worked our way up from there. You will need a lot of patience to get this to work. You must be quick and direct to act on time out and consistent. Don't say your going to put him or her into time out and then not do it. That's self sabotage and it will ruin you both. If he gets up and leaves time out, put him back and repeat the process over and over. NO WORDS. Action, action, action. Actions speak louder than words. Once he has done his time, let him out, explain again why he went there and that you love him. Yes, you've likely seen this on SuperNanny. It works. Our high functioning kids can do this. It takes more time and effort, but it is so worth it in the long run.
Offenses that invovled objects such as toys, bring about another punishment. Removal of the offending issue. If they won't behave with what ever object you are correcting them on, give them one chance with clear warning of the consequence and that's all. Take away the object for the rest of the day. Once they are older, take it away for three days (5-7 yrs), above that you can do a week. Any offensive behavior on that, brings time out. Is this hard to do, sure it is. Again, once you have the behaviors established, it's worth it.
Restraint: This is only to be used if the child presents a danger to themselves or others. You must be very gentle and I suggest the "hug" method. Hold them in a sitting position in front of you and take hold of their wrists. Hold their hands in their lap will hugging them close to you. If you must, loop your legs over theirs to stop kicking. Watch out for head butting or biting. Hold them close and tight (but gentle!) and softly remind them that when they stop or calm, you will let them go.
Using social stories can help explain consequences like time out, so they better understand how it works. Make sure they understand that a consequence is never a slight against, rather a natural occurance based on what they do. Always praise and use rewards. Good rewards should involve their keen interests, that you know get their attention. Use visual aides. In my son's class, they have a visual aide that tells all the students how they are doing. It's a stop light. Everyone starts on green. When they get out of line, they move to yellow, another transgression takes them to red and they lose a recess. They can actually earn their way back to green by doing things extra well. All of the kids in my son's class are on this system, and it works. It works for my son because it's consistent for the entire class and and done the same every time. So there you have some idea of good discipline technique for high function autistic children. If you have a system that works well for you, please comment and put it here so that it can help other parents. According to studies and reviews (search for them online), this is the best form of discipline for a child with autism. I use it myself. It works.
The first order of business is to address corporal punishement. Hitting doesn't work, I can tell you that from seeing in person. Yes, spanking is still hitting and we work hard to teach them not to hit, so all you do is mess with their heads and they take it straight to the heart. They will take it most personally and you're better off, just not doing that. Yes, I have given my son with autism a swift swat on the bottom, but it never gets any message across other than it's a mean thing to do. So lets leave spanking by the wayside.
Remember my last blog on socializing your child. Social stories also do a lot to help learn proper behaviors around the home. For that matter, most of what I put in that blog can help here. Yet the question remains, if you must use punishment, what do you use?
It's going to take a lot of time and practice, but there are methods of discipline that can be used with autism.
Time out: You bet, time out can still be a very effective measure, but the time you use is much much shorter in span. With most children, you set a time out spot that is safe and NOT scary and the child must stay in that spot quietly for one minute per year of age. With autism, the attention span is harder to control, so you go by a much shorter span of time. For example, at 3 and 4 years of age, we only went for about 20 to 30 seconds and worked our way up from there. You will need a lot of patience to get this to work. You must be quick and direct to act on time out and consistent. Don't say your going to put him or her into time out and then not do it. That's self sabotage and it will ruin you both. If he gets up and leaves time out, put him back and repeat the process over and over. NO WORDS. Action, action, action. Actions speak louder than words. Once he has done his time, let him out, explain again why he went there and that you love him. Yes, you've likely seen this on SuperNanny. It works. Our high functioning kids can do this. It takes more time and effort, but it is so worth it in the long run.
Offenses that invovled objects such as toys, bring about another punishment. Removal of the offending issue. If they won't behave with what ever object you are correcting them on, give them one chance with clear warning of the consequence and that's all. Take away the object for the rest of the day. Once they are older, take it away for three days (5-7 yrs), above that you can do a week. Any offensive behavior on that, brings time out. Is this hard to do, sure it is. Again, once you have the behaviors established, it's worth it.
Restraint: This is only to be used if the child presents a danger to themselves or others. You must be very gentle and I suggest the "hug" method. Hold them in a sitting position in front of you and take hold of their wrists. Hold their hands in their lap will hugging them close to you. If you must, loop your legs over theirs to stop kicking. Watch out for head butting or biting. Hold them close and tight (but gentle!) and softly remind them that when they stop or calm, you will let them go.
Using social stories can help explain consequences like time out, so they better understand how it works. Make sure they understand that a consequence is never a slight against, rather a natural occurance based on what they do. Always praise and use rewards. Good rewards should involve their keen interests, that you know get their attention. Use visual aides. In my son's class, they have a visual aide that tells all the students how they are doing. It's a stop light. Everyone starts on green. When they get out of line, they move to yellow, another transgression takes them to red and they lose a recess. They can actually earn their way back to green by doing things extra well. All of the kids in my son's class are on this system, and it works. It works for my son because it's consistent for the entire class and and done the same every time. So there you have some idea of good discipline technique for high function autistic children. If you have a system that works well for you, please comment and put it here so that it can help other parents. According to studies and reviews (search for them online), this is the best form of discipline for a child with autism. I use it myself. It works.
Socializing Autistic Children
I had an email recently from a lady named Michelle who asked me what tips I could lend on helping with socializing on her son. I have done some research on this to add to what I already know and have used and I believe that, with diligence, all of these techniques together can considerably raise social function and interest of Asperger's and mid to high functioning children with autism.
The very first technique I learned was the "look at me method". In this, before you say what you need to say to your child, you start by saying "Tony, look at me, Tony, look at my eyes" until Tony complies. When he does, you praise that action, "Good 'looking' Tony", and if he doesn't look away, go ahead with what else you wanted to say to him. Obviously you want to use your child's own name, not Tony (just had to add that). If he does look away, start over again. Practice, practice, practice, and eventually he will look away less and less as he starts to reprogram in understanding that you really want him to look at you.
The next technique is play integration. Your child likely is fine playing on their own. So fine, in fact, that they have no interest in playing with anyone else. You are the first person who can change that. You must become your childs playmate. You do this very slowly and gently. Tony is playing with his blocks, lining them up and stacking them. Start by talking. "Tony, that's a great building you made, can I make one?" Do NOT give up when he doesn't answer you. Employ the look at me method. Don't give up on that one either, even if it takes a year to get him to do it. That's how dedicated you have to be, and how stubborn. Try to get Tony to hand you a block and show you where he wants you to put it. As a beginners phase, handing blocks back and forth can be a great social opener for Tony. Giving and taking is social interaction. Work your way through the meltdowns. You are going to have meltdowns. Blocks will be thrown, and there may be the biting, kicking, etc. Use the tools and techniques you have learned for dealing with outbursts. Some meltdowns can be dealt with, simply by not giving in. Yes, believe it or not, for higher functioning autistics, this can work. I dealt with it myself. Dealing with meltdowns is going to have to be one of my next blogs though, so I can concentrate on this. But you will have to deal with them, there will be resistance.
So why would he resist? Autistic children resist because when you try to teach them something new or get a new behavior it means CHANGE and no autistic child deals well with changes, even tiny ones. Hence, you just mustn't give up.The next technique is the use of social stories. If your child even halfway likes being read to, this is a beautiful technique. Get this, even if he doens't appear to listen, you can still read social stories to him, and you may even get a reaction after reading the same story enough times. You can write your own social stories for any behavior you want to teach (keep it simple and limited to just one behavior at a time), find them on the internet or even pay someone like me to write them for you. You can also find them at your library. One awesome writer of social stories is Elizabeth Verdick, author of Teeth are not for Biting. Here's an idea, if you have a biter (my son was), get this book and read it to your child every day for a month. Then come tell me what happened. My son didn't stop biting in just a month, but the occurence was cut in half. He did eventually, with the reminder phrase 'Teeth are not for biting', stop altogether. That's how it's done. The book only covers biting and things that teeth are good for. It's extremely simple and effective. If you present the idea enough times with the reminder phrase, it will have an effect. No, not all autistics will stop biting 100%, but it's sure worth the effort, even still. Once you have some good examples of social stories (your library or the internet are wonderful sources) anyone can write their own. Do NOT use too many at a time. One at a time until you get them understanding the reminder phrase you establish is good enough.
Now that you have those techniques in practice, immersement is going to be necessary rather than avoidance of social situations. Will you still have to leave a restaraunt or two? Yes. But once again, it's the practice that is important. Socialization is part of our development and autistic children are delayed or blocked on this aspect. With delay, you can still work on social skills. Blocked are generally in low function or near low function autistics. This blog is not meant for them. Just to be clear. You can certainly try, with the above mentioned techniques, and if you make headway, then wonderful, come tell me about it because I want to know!To continue, take you child out into minor public situations, like going to the park or a small play center. Establish a connection with other parents on the spectrum and set up play dates. Constant monitoring will be needed and you will have to intervene a lot. My son had trouble with grabbing up and throwing things on the ground, like sticks and sand. Every time he did this, I removed him from play and gave him social reminders. Then I followed up with time out (sometimes works, but depends on how you word it), then sent him back in to play. When it comes to other parents who give you and your child weird looks, just tell them straight out, my son has autism and we are working on his socialization. Every time I ever said that to a parent, I either got "okay" and they mind their own business, or "really? I always wondered about autism" then you have a chance to educate someone and that is a beautiful thing. Still, you have to be up on your feet following your child around, ready to coach or intervene until Tony shows more and more ability to social play on his own. Any time he hits another child or commits something on another child, you need to show you are an interested and caring parent. This is a demonstration for your child. Always apologize to the other parent, remind your child or get him to apologize (yes it will work after a while), then go back to business. Some days are going to be bad ones, and you'll just have to take him out of play for the day while telling him why. Keep taking Tony to social situations, don't avoid them because of his behavior, you'll only help his autism hold him back. If he never experiences enough socialization, he will never socialize or increase function. And that is my answer for dear Michelle, I hope it also helps many of you. Feedback is welcome, thanks.
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