Yes we DO need diversity!

Websters Definition of Diversity: 1. The state or fact of being diverse. Difference. Unlikeness. 2. Variety. Multiformity. 3. A point of difference.

Social diversity is the existence of multiple cultures and types of people in any given area.

Throughout history people of many beliefs, lifestyles, creeds, ethnic backgrounds, religions, disability and more have staked their claim to human rights the same as any man. This has been backed and enforced by the Constitution of the United States of America, similar constitutions of other countries and laws around the world.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." Constitution of The United States of America (Thomas Jefferson).

See that quote? I has come to mean so much more than the paragraph you see in the Constitution. I means social acceptance without being shunned or judged. It means not being discriminated against for status of race, color, religion, sex, HANDICAP, familial status, or national origin. Yes, I capitalized that word on purpose.

I means having equal opportunities at good housing, employment, education, and medical care (insurance too).

It's why hate crimes are considered particularly heinous in nature.

Sadly, in the autism community the term is being horribly misused and misunderstood. I have been told and shown that, supposedly, you cannot be accepting of the search for an autism "cure" in any fashion and be for diversity at the same time. This is 100% in error. I can believe what ever I want to and telling me that I "can't" is wrong. The Constitution and Law say it's wrong. Let's take a look at why the two subjects should have just about nothing to do with each other.

Concern's against "diversity":

1: I found a comment at a blog I will not publicize that stated, "Neurodiversity is just a way for lazy people to get on disability." The very wording of such a statement is bigoted against the disabled and highly discriminatory. It proves that diversity and acceptance really are important. If one rude person on the internet is willing to publish such a horrible thought, how many more ignorant people are out there in housing, workforce, or the medical field who will discriminate because an autistic person happens to be on disability as well? It's supposed to be wrong to hold an entire community to task for the lies of an individual. If someone is frauding the system, that's on them as a person. It's not on the whole community of race, creed, sex, etc.

2: A cure is a better idea because then no one would need diversity: Again, faulty logic. This ignores the very fact that there is no cure and there are varied forms of autism. It ignores the fact that there are people out there right now, who deserve acceptance and the same rights as the rest of us, whether you look for a cure or not. It's like some of the activists for a "cure" expect people of the autism community to just suck it up and get over it. It's like they expect autistic people to put their lives on hold (medical costs, education and all) and wait for the golden miracle cure. Because with that cure, all problems would be solved.

If you want to find a "cure", go ahead, that is your right. Stop bashing people who just want to be accepted like the Constitution says they should.

And now... for the other side, just to be fair. Concerns against a "cure".

1: That it will be forced on autistic people to change them: I've said it before and I will say it again: That would be illegal. Also, again, there is no cure. That makes fearing a "cure" at this time akin to fearing the boogeyman.

2: That babies will be aborted: Fact, babies are already being aborted. This cannot and will not have that much of a change on those numbers. How do I know this? Take other medical conditions into account. Down Syndrome; I personally know just as many parents who knew they were having a child with Down Syndrome and didn't abort as any who said they did. For any of these situations there are people of all kinds and beliefs. This makes the abortion concern another empty fear. If you want to be against abortion, then go out and do so. Abortion is real, a "cure" is not. Work with something that is real. You'll get a lot more out of it.

3: People will be told not to have babies or start families if they have autism. That is discriminatory and should be reported if any social worker says this to you. No one has the right to tell you if you can have kids. Naturally, there are situations where a person is unfit to have children in the first place. That's different. But, if you are fit, and there's every chance you are, report any worker who says that to you. Report any nurse too. It's discrimination, simple as that.

For people who actually believe that load of tripe about avoiding having children if you autism, I have this: You need to do some research and get an education. If you want to save the world from medical conditions or "types" of people, there are plenty of deadly lifestyles and diseases you can take up arms against. Maybe you could help against crime or drug addiction? You know, things that are actually KILLING people. How about standing against spousal and child abuse? Just a thought.

Diversity is needed, it stands with historical evidence into the dark ages. It has nothing to do with seeking a cure. Mixing them just creates uneducated fear.

So, one more time: A "cure" has nothing to do with the fact that all people deserve acceptance and understanding. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Autism and Fear of Storms

I received a message from Ashley who said: "I'm wondering if you've had the experience of maybe you child becoming overly obsessive about bad weather conditions? With the tornado warnings and every thing recently my son has been really worried about it... thanks for any help you could lend."

The weather is a larger than life and ominous force to a child. If your child is on the spectrum and is sensitive to routine (almost all of them are) then the weather serves as even more of an anxiety. It's hard to feel safe and secure with something a million times your size that you see no routine in. If you think seasonal changes are tough, try having your child obsess over daily weather conditions.

Now add in seasonal conditions like tornadoes and floods. We see their destruction on television all the time. Our kids see that and say "oh no!". They associate the condition globally. What happens in one place, happens everywhere. My son is afraid of floods. For a while, rain water that could fill just the gutter, was enough to incite panic. It still takes some reassurance today when rain starts coming down hard. Now, he studies tornadoes, volcanoes, and other giant weather factors as a source of fascination. It helps that school has supported educational issues on his fears as well as myself.

First, we have to understand that this is a real fear and we shouldn't diminish it or punish it.

Second, we have to understand that resolving this will not happen overnight. It will take some time and repeated application of education and support.

Third, use education. Find age appropriate books about weather that he can look at for himself (yes, or herself). Teach him about weather as it applies to where you live. There are even books on fearing weather as children. I don't have the titles but your local library can help you.

Teach him what to do in bad weather and give him his own weather kit with blanket, flashlight, and radio. Reinforce that he has a family that loves him and will protect him. Show him that safety from weather is done as a family at home or a team effort at school.

If he's old enough, show him how to check the weather. If, not, check it on your internet and show him. Education is the answer. Love, support and education will help your child understand that the weather is something we have to live with, but we understand it and know what to do for safety in bad weather.

Remember, our autistic kids work best with direct simple facts. It also helps to make learning about weather an accomplishment of some kind to boost confidence. Use lots of praise for learning, even if it doesn't seem to affect your child because of their autism.

Defiance and Respect in Autism Youth

This blog is dedicated to a question from Kimberly, who asked: "My teen who has Autism is overly dramatic and has a hard time with accepting no as an answer is this typical or is mine just out of control?"

First of all, it's likely a lot more typical than you realize. From age 9 where puberty starts kicking in, through the teen years, you are seeing a mixture of the autism and hormones. This can make your standard teen drama and angst look like a trip to Disneyland.

You can expect over-reactions to most things as well as snippy attitudes and excessive, "my parents don't know anything" attitude.

This is a LINK I posted on my Facebook profile recently. Scroll down and check out the advice given for a 9 year old (that's how old my son is too).

For a teen, I would suggest pretty much the same approach. Pick your battles. When given a consequence he's going to tell you off. Ignore it. Yes it's disrespectful, but the more you give it the time of day, the more you help create the power struggle. I've learned this the hard way. Since then, I've taken parenting classes at Boys Town (I think you can order their tapes, they were very helpful to me) and joined a parenting support group. Maybe there's one in your area?

Another thing to remember, is that our autism kids are delayed in emotional development significantly to a varied point of years. Add that to all those teen hormones and, well, you read what I said above.

Here are a couple other links with advice on dealing with autistic teens:

Conduct Disorders Website: Scroll down in the answers for what people had to say after you check out the lady's problems with her teen son.

Autisable website: An interesting blog article on parenting the autistic teen.

I like the idea of meeting an outburst with uncomfortable silence and a blank stare. My 9 year old has the tendency to tell me, just like the one teen boy, that I will not exercise what ever consequence I just informed him of. It happens anyway, without another word. If he throws a fit and breaks his toys, they are gone for good. Anything he throws that doesn't break is lost to him for several days. Currently it's 3 and that seems to annoy him down the line. He wants it eventually and I shake my head and tell him: "I can't give it to you because you threw it in a tantrum. You will get it back on Friday (or whatever day is 3 out)." This makes it appear a rule I also have to follow. It shows that rules are followed by everyone and actions have consequences.

Our kids need tons and tons of practice and there is no overnight solution. Just know that you are not alone in your struggles with your autistic teen.

Police, Emergency services and Autism, what you can do

I recently had some interesting responses to an old Hub Pages article I wrote on what to do about an autistic meltdown, should you (as someone who isn't necessarily experienced) be faced with one. That article is HERE for the reading.

Amongst responses is the general disagreement on calling police in the situations for fear they'll only make things worse. Thanks to media sources and happenings across the globe, this is a legitimate fear. Even with good programs available to help all of our emergency services, too many departments still aren't educated on autism. Reports of autistic persons being tazed or tackled still come up.

With police, the simple fact is that training is meant to keep them alive. It is not geared toward handling autism in the first place. So when they come across a weird and escalating situation, they will subdue first and ask questions later. Remember, police routinely face situations were a gun or knife could pop out of anywhere. People go violent on them all the time. It's a high stress environment that can and will kill you if you aren't on your toes.

What we need to do is offer the education to our departments. There is no reason that any of you can't take this information, walk into the police department and make them aware of it (nicely). The same goes for any emergency department. Offer it to City Hall for that matter. Make it known and always approach as a 'friend'. We can make changes and make a difference. So, first, what are these sources?

First let me introduce you to the work of Dennis Debbaudt (yes, click on his name for the website). Dennis is nationally known now for his program geared toward helping emergency services with autistic persons. He has a series of books and videos and a very impressive resume of appearances. You could say that Dennis is loaded with information. You can even write or call him directly for additional information or advice on approaching your emergency services.

Next, Bill Cannata who is with the ALEC program. That stands for Autism and Law Enforcement Coalition. Click on the name to see the website. Bill has direct experience as the Captain of a fire department. ALEC offers a training program for all forms of emergency services in handling persons with autism. Make sure to check out the website and take it down in notes to offer to your emergency divisions.

Next I'm going to actually direct you to another blog; Autism 101 for Fire and Rescue. Yep, another link there. It's a long posting and offers some of the info I've given here, but you'll also find a couple of informative checklists further down as well as a host of more links. Take this info to offer to your local services.

With all that, how do you approach them? How do you get them to take part? Well, here's my take on that.

1: Always approach as a friend. You purpose is not just for your own autistic family members, but for the community as a whole. Understanding of autism can increase officer safety, civilian safety, and save critical time in emergencies. As a member of the autistic community, you can get organized and offer this information for all involved.

2: Show numbers. Help them to understand just how many members of the community have autism. Help them see a need. Use current news of the area and incident reports to support the interest. Remember, be friendly! Anger or outbursts will get you shut out or in legal trouble.

3: If you are treated poorly or turned away (rudely perhaps), use the "chain of command". Go to the head of the hospital, Mayor's office of your city, Representatives, Senators, or even Governor. Offer them the same information and show concerns and numbers accordingly. Tell them about your experience with the people who work under them and your disappointment.

4: Don't give up. You can be heard and improvements can be made. Just always be friendly and polite. Give flyers and information packets. Be organized and neat. And contact the resources I've listed here for their input on that matter too.

It's also a good idea to let emergency services know there is an autistic person in your home. It's okay that they know you or your autistic family member. Some people even have stickers on their door for emergency information.

Hopefully, this information helps you make better connections with your local agencies for the betterment of community. Please feel free to share your own ideas and this blog.

Bullying and Suicide: A Special Message

See that picture? I drew it a long time ago. It's called "Persecution" and it's what bullying looks and feels like. Click on it to see it up close.

I've been seeing commercials and reports for the "It gets better" project. Along with that there is the Trevor Project. Now, these are geared toward teens who are gay or lesbian and that's fine. Bullying is wrong and no one should be pushed to the point of killing themselves. It's a tragedy. I'm not part of that particular walk of life, but I did survive severe bullying myself. That's why I'm coming forward with something to say on the matter.

As far as I'm concerned, bullying someone (especially to death) for their orientation of race, religion or sexual orientation is a hate crime (and should be if it isn't).

I want to point out, if you are reading this and you are considering suicide because of bullying (and you are gay, lesbian, transgender, or questioning) you should contact the Trevor Project at 866- 4 U Trevor (866-488-7386). While you're at it, you should visit http://www.itgetsbetter.org/ (CLICK IT!) and view videos of what people like you have to say. Or try my video:


Now, what if you are being bullied for some other reason? It's no less wrong and every bit as serious. I was bullied simply because I'm different. The bullies thought my odd reactions were hilarious and were willing to do anything to get them. No one knew about my Asperger's syndrome at the time, but that's purely academic. Wrong is wrong. I was poked with pins and pencils, knocked down stairs, shut part way in lockers by groups of kids, and walked home bloody two or three times a week. I had to plan escape routes every day. Junior High was hell. I failed 7th grade, and no wonder. I couldn't walk down the hall, sit in class, or anything without being taunted and tormented. You'd think it would get noticed right? HA! Think again. Let me tell you about the mindset I was dealing with... and it's still out there.

MAJORITY RULES: Teacher says: "Well, David, there are three of them and one of you, so who's story do you think get's believed? You should stop trying to get people in trouble." Bullies are conniving and know how to work the system. Somehow, in a sick twist of reality, majority means honesty. It's a numbers racket considering the bullies as "witnesses" rather than bullies. Three witnesses outweighs one, right? Never mind the fact that I was the child in tears and they were the ones with big ol smiles on their faces. How did that happen?

THE SQUEAKY WHEEL IS THE CULPRIT: So I'm sitting in class and the kid behind me stabs me in the back with a nice sharp pencil. Of course I cry out. Now, because of all the difficulties, I look like the "problem child", so any noise I make is automatically wrong. I get punished for disturbing class. The bully is practically in stitches trying not to fall out of his own desk laughing. Now on the flip side, I've also had kids call out "David stop it!" when nothing was happening, they still believed the bullies. I was thrown out of class a couple of times. Anyone still wondering how I failed 7th grade?



I considered suicide more times than I care to admit, but there it was. As of today, I don't believe in suicide. I have four great kids and a wonderful lady who loves me. I wouldn't have any of those things if I took my own life.

But it's hard. Being bullied makes you feel worthless and helpless. I contributes to conditions of depression. Imagine being in a deep dark hole that you can't climb out of. Passers by know you are there, but they won't help you. Instead, they mock you, laugh at you and occassionally throw something at you. You can't respond, you can't fight back or you are the one who is punished. You may as well be restrained for everyone's twisted pleasure. That's how wrong it feels. Now it's a matter of survival.

Yes there are programs for anti-bullying now, but more are still needed. I get stories all the time about our autistic kids getting bullied while teachers tell them to just suck it up. I'm sure it's the same for any victim no matter why they were bullied.

But, if you are being bullied, no matter who you are; don't take your own life. As they say, it does get better. You can overcome. And if you don't think you could call the numbers above, try 1-800-SUICIDE for the national suicide hotline.

Please know that you are not alone. Bullying has been around a long time and has many survivors and victims. We want you to survive. Pick up the phone, get online, call someone. Make contact! Don't give your life to the bullies. They aren't worth it.

Moving makes changes

Yes, I'm moving. By June 15 I should be in Louisiana. It's been nice here in Wisconsin and I've met some good people. One of those people has become very important to my son and I. Important enough to move with her and start a new chapter in life.

Moving is change. Change is hard on the autistic most times. So it makes sense that you prepare your child for the change as much in advance as possible. I've shown my son all the positives of the move and referred to it as "our next big adventure". Those words work well for my little hero "adventurer". He relates well with those words. If it's an adventure, he's all for it.

Currently he's excited for the big move and is showing interest in how to pack things and wants to be helpful. I'm sure, once we get on the road in the big truck (that he's also excited about) he'll discover boredom and not be quite so excited. Well, that's the reality of moving, especially when you move about 900 miles. Our destination, the city of Monroe.

So, there will be an interruption of blogs at that time, and I will certainly update on our adventure and how the move has gone. What worked for my kiddo won't necessarily work for yours. You have to use the things that your child associates with. Favorite stores? Favorite kind of parks? What is in the new area that you know your child loves and is connected to? Well, I have to do some house cleaning, so enjoy your warmer days and we'll update soon.

Autism Controversy: Belief or Disbelief and miseducation

Once in a while you can still come across someone who simple doesn't think that some form of autism doesn't exist. They think it's some kind of elaborate scam either by families or the "big pharma" to get money.

If you are dealing with autism I'm sure you wish you were getting money because of how much treatments cost. That being said, "big pharma" isn't raking in the bucks either for the same reason. Now the pharmaceutical companies are not the controversy I really want to get into here, so that's for next time. This time it's the struggle to get some people, sometimes important people to believe autism exists.

I'm talking about teachers, principles, some media platforms, and even doctors. The number of disbelievers has dwindled in the last few years, but they are still out there and can do immeasurable damage. A prime example of that damage is Mike Savage.

Back in 2008, radio show host, Michael Savage had this to say about autism: "fraud, a racket. ... I'll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is. What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, 'Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot."

This caused a massive outcry and picketing to remove Mr. Savage from his job on his very political talk show. It also caused a massive clash between his loyal listeners and anyone who disagreed with what he had to say. The danger of making a general statement like that (especially in the context delivered) is that it creates a misrepresentation of the condition. I literally came across hundreds of online comments to the tune of "oh, you have autism? Mike Savage says you're a fake" and that was one of the tame ones. There were even teachers and medical professionals who took to the political sense rather than the medical and it affected how they in turn treated autistic students and patients. The clash was a major chain reaction that caused a great deal of conflict. This is not to start a debate over Michael Savage, so such comments won't even be entertained. I say that, because I've already been in long tirade discussions that get absolutely no where on the matter with anyone who thinks disagreeing with this guy is a blight on humanity.

When a teacher thinks Asperger's is just an excuse for bad behavior, she inhibits that child's support system and injures him or her mentally and emotionally. This happens in places like Florida and Arkansas. My next example of making waves is Wendy Portillo, a school teacher in Port St Lucie, Florida. Also in 2008, she made headlines for having her kindergarten class students, stand up one by one, and vote young Alex Barton out of his class for "bad behavior". Each student was forced to say something negative about Alex before voting him out. I can only imagine the results on his psyche. Mrs. Portillo lost a year of work, but was given her job back with support of the community. Yes, dozens of parents, and over a hundred supporters, came forward to give some kind of testimony to the board that Wendy Portillo was awesome and should have her job back. Was it forgiveness or did all these people hate autism? Is that a sign of just how much autism education is needed? I think so. As it is, Wendy thanked all her followers by getting in trouble yet again in 2010 for mistreatment of a partially deaf student. I wonder if all the same people will come forward to dump on a deaf child's integrity too? Sorry, in any case, it goes to show just how much some actions can create shockwaves that damage our community world wide. All the students in Alex Barton's class were taught something very wrong and they attribute it to autism. The public demonstration shows the same line of thinking.

There is a dangerous ignorance out there and it can do a great amount of damage to treatment possibilities, public education, and public opinion of people with autism. It's why we must be vigilant in teaching the truths of autism to anyone who cares to learn. It's our children's world next. How will it treat them?