Friday, October 2, 2015

MS Fatigue will make you PAY

This morning I'm using my cane around the house. I never use my cane around the house. Why? Because I live in a tiny house with one narrow hallway. I can usually balance myself  on walls and counters. Those aren't enough today. It's because MS fatigue is making me pay.

I had a good day yesterday. I walked my son to and from school. The extra walk for school, I was sure would hit me, but I did more than that. I also walked to find the owners of two lost dogs that wound up in my back yard. I even managed to find them! While I felt fine with all the walking and some housework, MS was keeping its own tally of my actions.

The alarm rang across the room this morning. I felt it right away. A feeling like my forehead was full of lead. I had to struggle to sit up, leaning on my bedside table. The alarm still demanded my attention. I gazed through the darkness toward the sound and wondered if I could develop telekinesis. Nope. Dear wife slept right through it and I envied her that. But then, she hasn't been feeling well lately. I had to use the bed for support as I shifted to the end and used the window sill to support me in standing. Next I had to manage two steps to the dresser without throwing myself on the floor. My knees rebelled the moment I went to stand, so this was like jumping a ravine.

Deep breath and shove off. And I made it. My knees wanted to buckle but I held on to the top of the dresser. I reached out and fumbled with the alarm clock. Finally silence. I stayed there for a couple of minutes, catching my breath from a small journey across a room that healthy people totally take for granted. Now I just had to make it 15 feet to the bed room door with nothing to support me. Oh, there's a set of plastic shelves, but I would just pull those over. If you could have seen me, you would have thought I shambled like a zombie from the Walking Dead. Still, I made it and leaned on the door or wall to take a micro-break before heading out to wake my son for school.

Mornings are always tough and off balance, but after a day of actual physical activity, it's always worse. MS, makes you pay for it. Sometimes for days. I'm glad it's Friday and everyone can sleep in tomorrow! Even then, when I get up, it's slow and easy or crash. My wife had to take kiddo to school as I can barely walk even with my coffee in me. But then, life doesn't stop for MS. My kitchen is a disaster area and I'm wearing my last pair of clean underwear. I will have to manage at least a couple of things today.

That's what Multiple Sclerosis does to you. It gives you a day of doing things really well, and then relapses you into uselessness for anywhere up to several days. You don't just get tired for the night, your body malfunctions for a lot longer in response to physical fatigue. That's what it's like. Try to imagine if you can. As food for thought, I leave you with a little ditty by Jethro Tull:

My first and last time with you
and we had some fun.
wenT walking through the trees, yeah!
And then I kissed you once.
Oh I want to see you soon
but I wonder how.
It was a new day yesterday
but it's an old day now.
Spent a long time looking
for a game to play.
My luck should be so bad now
to turn out this way.
Oh I had to leave today
just when I thought I'd found you.
It was a new day yesterday
But it's an old day now.

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