How Multiple Sclerosis affects my artwork

Recently a very cool friend of mine received the honor of an article in the Daily Light paper about how MS affected his music and ability to play. You can check it out HERE. I am so proud of my friend, Chris and all he's accomplished on explaining MS to people and raising awareness. It's an inspiration to me.

Now I'd like to share an online quote directed at me some time back.

"I don't think your condition is an excuse for bad artwork."

As many of you know, I'm the creator/writer/artist for my own universe of characters called, Galaxy Zento. To suggest my artwork is perfect would be a lie. I'm not perfect and I do my best with what I have left. The person who made that comment had no idea what they were talking about. So let me explain what it takes for an artist to put out awesome artwork.

Knowledge of form, good hand eye coordination and cognitive ability to transfer and translate from mind to paper. Seems simple right? Now lets look at that MS does to a person.

It destroys your freaking nerves. So hand coordination is shaky at best. If you look close enough at my work, you will notice that all my lines are wavy. All of them. Circle? Wavy circle. Oval? Wavy oval. Arms? Musculature? All with little waves everywhere. I can correct some on digital but even there I have to do what my messed up system allows if I ever want anyone to see it (this year).

Cognitive function is a mess. It's like trying to strain your thoughts through a colander or sifting mechanism and then make sense of the resulting mess. What I try to see in my mind and translate, is a fog. So I'm literally making up details as I go. Sometimes I can see it in my head really well. Other times, I can't see my character's faces. Try to figure THAT out. I get basic forms and basic shapes, then I have to muddle my through to make them work.

Now I tell myself that I simply have to own my own style and never give up. But it's not always that easy. There's so much of the story to tell and I don't know how much time I have to tell it. I'm racing against a clock of unknown time. It's headed for a point that I won't be able to draw a stick figure.

If you follow the link about and go through the albums, you can see differences in the pictures that show days that my poor head wasn't quite up to the job at hand. Sometimes I come up with good looking stuff, sometimes I don't and I have a lot of  trouble fixing it.

"Just find an artist." I do have someone on board, but please don't say this to me. I don't have up front funds and it dismisses the fact that this is a huge piece of myself that's fading decades before it should.

So, as you view the artwork of Galaxy Zento, know that every success is dedicated to others like myself (especially youth). Someday, I may have artists who put in because they believe in my reasons and can fall in love with the characters, but until then (and even after) I will continue this fight.

Overcome: Never give up

I find myself having to keep this cane of mine closer to me lately. Apparently, my sense of balance and the nerves in my knees conspire to throw me on the ground more often now. I'm trying some new medication for the trembling to steady my hands and help me get more sleep at night, but we still don't  know what this progressing condition is that I have in my collection of "conditions".

I especially want to keep my hands as useful as possible for as long as possible for sake of my current mission. As many of you know know (who follow along), I am growing the project of my fantasy universe, Galaxy Zento as a symbol of many things.

It is a symbol of overcoming, of "doing" in spite of conditions, of functioning with these medical conditions. It is about functioning in spite of Autism, Traumatic Brain Injury, and whatever the other thing is (next MRI will of full spine).  It's about abolishing the stygma and myths that come with all of them as well.

So far, I have written two novels on my project with one under agency consideration as we speak. I have drawn, circulated and donated an anti bullying poster to my son's elementary school. I have drawn and circulated an autism awareness poster with another of my heroes as well. I won honorable mention from Writer's Journal for a short story of one of my characters. I have drawn, inked, and computer colored over 200 illustrations. I've put together about 100 custom miniatures of my characters too. I'm still writing and working on showcases for the GZ blog. And I'm still not stopping.

I'm doing this to show my son what you can accomplish, despite what may or may not be "wrong" with you. My son, like me, has autism. I'm doing this to show anyone who has doubts about themselves for the exact same reasons, just what you can accomplish.

Yes, I walk with a cane (a four pod cane no doubt), yes I am disabled, yes I have to take daily naps because I run out of energy fast...... but I'm still ticking.  I'm still going and I don't intend to stop.

Galaxy Zento, is an example and I always want it to shine that way, no matter where it ultimately lands. The fact is, what matters is, that I never give up.

You can do what you want to do or find something new. And I'm not talking about getting a job when you are disabled. I'm talking about, your personal worth. You are worth something. You must never give up.